Something that I find shocking, and extremely sad, but I'm afraid not surprising

[angelene]

Hi all

I live in the South Wales valleys, and I am aware that my bfing my daughter was unusual in my area. Even now, getting on for 3 years after I have stopped, mentioning that I exclusively breastfed for 10 months has caused a noticeable coolness towards me from other mothers, as if I'm a hippyish, knit-your-own-yoghurt type. I find this incredibly sad, for children and mothers alike.

However, I was completely shocked the other day when I was talking to another mother who is a health visitor in a neighbouring Valleys area. I mentioned to her (in the course of the conversation, I'm not a complete militant ) that I bfed my DD and how pleased I was to have done so, and how rare it seemed to be around here.

She then said, that out of her caseload of maybe 300 women, NONE of them breastfed. At all. Not one.

This is an area with among the very worst health outcomes in the UK. It is so sad that bf is really not considered as a choice by the mothers around here, I'm really not sure why. I had a great deal of support from HCPs to breastfeed, right from the community MW through to the hospital MW, HV and GP. I don't think there is a lack of support, in my view it is (bizarrely, given the fact that breastmilk is free) an socio-economic thing, but I still find it difficult to understand. It's a cultural thing - it's a total blackout as far as bf is concerned.

All very sad

I do think it's a cultural thing. I consider myself really fortunate to live somewhere where noone bats an eyelid at a bf mother. All the mums i know bf, it's considered 'normal'.
When I went home to where my parents live when ds was 6 weeks old I was very obviously an oddity. I felt extremely uncomfortable bf in public, and all the friends I have down there have ff their dc. If I lived there now I'd like to think that I'd still have bf, but I honestly don't know if I could have dealt with the open stares I got there on a daily basis. It was certainly something I noticed and that shocked me.

hi angelene
completely not surprised but agree utterly sad...soo weird isn't it?
thing that gets my goat is the media angle on it... one description of Charlotte church with her first baby used the word "even" about bfing.. "she even bf her baby for over three months" ARGH!!! doesn't exactly help the valleys if they read that does it?!
only thing to do is get pregnant again and get your baps out. do it for the girls!! I'll do my bit and pop over the severn when my turn comes around again
x

littlelamb I never felt uncomfortable but I did feel I had to have my defiant stare ready just in case! My sister lives in Bath and it is obviously a much more middle class area and she was unusual among her friends for mixed feeding.

MummyElk Yes! The Charlotte Church thing was really odd - she is vocal about bfing and was happy to encourage bfing in younger mothers but the media reaction was all very strange. And I am hoping for another in a while and will definitely be bfing again - I keep telling people how much easier it is than faffing around sterilising bottles etc.

My friend lives in Wimbledon and she told me about when her DD1 picked up her dolly to give it some lunch and pulled up her t-shirt, I would love my DD to do that but it's all 'baby do you want a bottle' for her dollies. I want to give her a positive example as much as anything.

My mum had to fight to bf me (in London), it was her against the medical establishment but she wanted to do it the natural way. It seems such a shame that ahem 35 years on not much has changed, not here anyway.

BTW I mean that bfing was rare for my mum - I don't feel that the medical establishment is against bfing - not my experience anyway.

When I had DD2 (now 3), I was in the 2% that breastfed in my midwives area. With DS (now 10 months) that figure had risen to about 4%.
Now pregnant with DC 4 and my midwife informs me that well over 5% were breastfeeding and we had enough numbers to start up our own breastfeeding group!!

Change does and will happen, but slowly.

Stretch That's great - I did go to a bf support group through Surestart, I suppose that it was more about supporting breastfeeding itself than supporting the mothers!