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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

If you fed for over 12 months please come and tell me about giving up

23 replies

fadingfast · 07/04/2009 21:55

DD is very shortly to reach 12 months. She still has two BFeeds a day, morning and evening. I had envisaged giving up at 12 months, although I am happy to carry on for a bit longer as it's no great hardship for me and DD still seems really eager.

However, I would like to give up in the next few months.

Please tell me when you stopped feeding, and whether your DC stopped of their own accord (which is my preferred method!), or whether you actively took steps to stop and what were those steps?

I don't want to make the process traumatic for me or DD but I really don't want to carry on for too much longer.

Thank you

OP posts:

ilovetochat · 07/04/2009 22:02

i stopped when dd was 17 months, she was having 1 or 2 a day but was more interested in getting down for her cereal than feeding and was very wriggly kicking her feet and it got to be hardwork. i did never offer never refuse.
she fed one morning, i went to a party on the night and left her and she went to bed with no feed, then the next day she didnt want a feed and that was it. except the next weekend i took her into bed for a cuddle and she asked and cried for milk and i had to say no as it made me really sad to quit and i couldnt go through it again.

MANATEEequineOHARA · 07/04/2009 22:03

Both of mine stopped at 2 and a half years, I cannot imagine stopping earlier, as I thougt it was the easiest thing in the world and a solution to any problem! (This was when I was a SAHM).
Both of mine were down to just morning feeds when I stopped. I stopped feeds before sleeps at about 18 months, to 2 years (cannot remember exactly). So with both it was just a case of getting up as soon as they woke up for breakfast and general entertainment to distract them! Ds was fine about it, but for about 3 months after he used to pretend to be having booby!!! Dd would be ok one day and really not ok the next, so we had about a month of not feeding everyday but still feeding some days. And actually until she was three she would still latch on occasionally (like once a week at the most) I let her and found it quite amazing she still got milk from me at all, but she did!

Burstingattheseams · 07/04/2009 22:03

Hi Fading

I bf all 4 of my dd until 12months at which point they all seemed to happily swap to a tommy tippee cup of warm cows milk morning and evening instead. I was sad however

Lastyearsmodel · 07/04/2009 22:03

Got pregnant with DS when DD was about 12mo - feeding seemed to tail off naturally. She always preferred her morning feed to her evening one and one day she just wasn't bothered, so we came down and she had breakfast. Much simpler than I had thought, but I wonder whether the taste had changed when I got pregnant.
DS is now 13 mo, feeds 3-4 times a day, asks for it very assertively and shows no sign of tailing off. My periods took 5m longer to come back with him too. Sorry if that's tmi.
From the experience of friends, a 'don't offer, don't refuse' approach can be useful and reasonably stress-free when you want to bring bf to an end.

hunkermunker · 07/04/2009 22:03

Is there a reason you don't want to carry on, or do you feel you ought not do it much longer?

Any way I ask that sounds accusatory - it's not, I promise!

DS1 stopped at 17m) because I was pregnant - but I expect that might be a bit of a drastic step...! DS2 (3.3) hasn't stopped yet.

Sidge · 07/04/2009 22:05

I stopped feeding DD3 at 14 months - it just sort of tailed off naturally over a couple of weeks. I went with the 'don't offer but don't refuse' method and she gradually dropped her morning, then her evening feed.

tiredandgrumpy · 07/04/2009 22:06

I fed dd for nearly 2 years. I stopped it as I was ready to move on, so it wasn't traumatic for me. I dropped the morning feed at about 1 year old and she never missed it. The nighttime feed was also easily dropped - dh simply rocked her calm then put her to bed - with me out of the way she wasn't reminded of it and didn't fuss. After just a few nights of dh doing this we had no problems & she would go to bed happily for me. She's has been a good settler ever since.

Original poster

fadingfast · 07/04/2009 22:13

Absolutely no intention of getting pregnant again!

I suppose, rightly or wrongly, I just feel that I ought not to be doing it for much longer. I had always set myself 12 months as a goal, but I'm happy to carry on for a bit more. I just don't see myself as someone who would want to be carrying on for 2 or 3 years. Not judging, just not for me. There is a sense of wanting my body back at some point in the not too distant future, although I also know I will be very sad about giving up.

OP posts:

MegBusset · 07/04/2009 22:22

I stopped when DS was 20mo. I was pregnant and my nipples were hurting like hell at every feed, and it just felt like the right time.

It was half DS's doing and half mine, I suppose. He had just been feeding twice a day for ages. One morning I was in a rush to go to work and we just skipped the feed -- he didn't ask and I didn't offer. I fed him as normal that night. The next morning he didn't feed again, so I decided not to offer that evening and see how it went. For about two days he pointed to my boobs and grumbled mildly but was easily distracted. After that he seemed to forget all about it and we never looked back.

Don't feel like you have to set yourself a time limit for stopping -- it's perfectly OK to carry on as long as you both want to! But don't feel bad if you do want to stop, either. You have done an amazing thing for your DD to BF for a year

FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2009 22:24

ds1 stopped when he was nearly 4 - his choice

most children left to their own devices stop between age 2 and 4

katiepotatie · 07/04/2009 22:25

I dropped dd's morning feed at 13 months, and offered her cows milk in the mornings, which took a little getting used to. By the time she was 14.5 months she gave up the bedtime feed herself, She made little fuss, and I was more upset than she was! She still has cows milk morning and night time and she has just turned 2. Goodluck

MegBusset · 07/04/2009 22:25

I should add that one downside was that his bedtime routine went tits up for about two weeks after -- he was taking over an hour to settle at night (he wasn't fed to sleep before but the magic sleepy milk obviously had great sedative effects!). But then I started doing bedtime stories with quiet cuddles before going in the cot, which did the trick.

Also, I have never managed to get him to drink cows' milk at all...

idontbelieveit · 07/04/2009 22:31

dd1 has almost stopped at 2 and 9months, she feeds a couple of times a week. Dd2 is now 10 weeks so i expect i'll be going a while yet.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 07/04/2009 22:32

Had to stop when DS was 13 months (last month) and he was at Children's Hospital. He was very very ill and he was nil by mouth for about 48 hours until they worked out what was making him so incredibly ill.

I pumped when I would have normally fed him and then gradually reduced.

Original poster

fadingfast · 08/04/2009 21:18

Thank you for your messages.

Sorry to hear about your DS ilovemydog - must have been difficult to give up in that situation. Hope he is on the mend.

I guess if I want to give up in the not too distant future, I will have to take steps myself rather than relying on her to stop of her own accord.

MegB - the bedtime thing is a bit of a worry. DD never falls asleep at a feed but I do think she would miss it as part of the routine.

I think I might put it off for a few more weeks

OP posts:

GreenMonkies · 08/04/2009 21:30

I didn't see myself as someone who would feed for five and a half years, the last two and a half as a tandem nurser, but guess what..................?

You will know when it's the right time to stop. Do it because you are ready, not because you think you should or that you ought to.

yomellamoHelly · 08/04/2009 21:30

Demand-fed ds2 until just gone 17 months. He would have happily kept on going. I'd gotten too thin, though, particularly over the last 6 months and needed more energy to get through the day. Didn't actually upset ds2, though and he adapted pretty quickly.

OrmIrian · 08/04/2009 21:34

17m, 3yrs and 4 yrs.

DS#1 I felt pressurised to give up because any longer was freaky So I did. Suddenly. It wasnt't easy and he kept asking for ages. Ended up having a bottle at night for a long time. I feel that my poor eldest suffered from my initial weakness in allowing myself to be forced in to doing 'the right thing' in lots of ways

DD - she got less interested and was only feeding at night. It was quite easy to get her off the boob. But like her brother she was addicted to the bottle at night for a long time after that unfortunately.

DS#2 - by the time I stopped it was easy. He was old enough for me to explain why.

hunkermunker · 08/04/2009 21:53

As they get older, you can establish "rules" you're comfortable with. When they're babies and need bf as it's their sole form of nutrition, you have to go with their needs. But as they get bigger and eat and drink other things, bf can be more on your terms, whatever they are. So you can still have your body back - you don't have to feed her every time she asks, you don't have to feed in public if you don't want to, etc.

I only regularly feed DS2 at bedtime now - though if there's time in the morning, he will ask. He doesn't ask outside those times - and when I go out, there's no problem with DH putting him to bed. But on occasions when he's been overtired and inconsolable at bedtime, it soothes him to bf - and it's lovely to be able to take a child who's overtired and beside themselves and turn them into a sleepy cherub inside five minutes. So is breastfeeding for me? Sort of. But it's also for him - because being beside yourself isn't a nice feeling.

noolia · 09/04/2009 12:29

Haven't read the whole thread.
I've just stopped bfing dd, 13months.
I found that the day feeds were easy to stop as she was happy to have a spouty cup of milk / be distracted by readybrek etc. Then I feed her 1 feed a day before bed for about a month, she was very keen for it, pulling up top etc.
Then, last saturday, I decided to see what would happen if I just gave her a cup. I left with dh and a cup while I had a bath, she cried for a few mins wanting booby but then darnk her milk from the cup and went to bed as normal. I didn't go to see her till she was asleep so as not to give her 'false hope'. The next day she didn't even ask for booby and she is just as happy with drinking from her cup while being held.
All in all I was much sadder about it than she was! I was glad that I just suddenly decided not to bf her as if I had given her her last bf knowing that it was the last time I would probably have been in floods.
Good luck!

noolia · 09/04/2009 12:35

Read the thread now and just wanted to say that your reasons for stopping are pretty much the same as mine. It just felt like time, although I was sad about it, I'm glad I've done it now.
Oh, and as my dh reminded me it's such a teeny tiny minority of people that bf for so long (although it doesn't seem like it on MN) that we can feel v v proud for what we have done!

LeonieSoSleepy · 09/04/2009 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Upsidedowncake · 09/04/2009 18:42

Stopped at 15 months and we both found it quite traumatic.

DS used to cluster feed between about 6 and 8, so I gradually replaced those feeds with cow's milk after 12 months.

But he hung on to his morning feed until one day I got up and didn't give it to him. He was devastated for about five minutes, and then fine. The next day the same thing happened, but he calmed down after about four mornings.

This time, I'm planning on letting my DD (currently 9 months) feed as long as she wants to.

Periods, came back at 10 months when I stopped the 3pm feed. I had them every ten weeks or so, until I stopped altogether.

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