How do you wean from BF at 16months

[HappyBump]

I've decided to stop BF my 16month old so that I can kick start my cycle as we would like to get pregnant again. It's been a really tough decision as I think we will both miss it so much.

I know that it isn't necessary to stop but my circumstances are that I am 37 and also I just recently had a missed mc at 13 weeks. If I am able to get pregnant again I just want to make sure that I have my body back in the best possible condition.

My DS only really feeds at night before he goes to bed and when he gets up in the morning and rarely during the day (only if he is a bit grumpy or needs extra comfort).

What would you suggest be the best way to start stopping?

Should I start by stopping in the morning first? Do I just do it cold turkey? He drinks cows milk on cereal, etc. so should I offer that or just offer it at breakfast.

If I suddenly stop will I become engorged? is there anything I should do to prepare?

Any tips welcome.

bumping for you
(still feeding my 19 mo but will be stopping at 21 mo)

hi Luvaduck
Thanks for bumping me ..
I've been doing a bit of reading around and it seems that I should drop one feed and then perhaps a week later drop the other feed. Hopefully with DH being able to be available to do the transition feeding with cows milk. I've been building up his diet of dairy anyway in preparation so I wonder how much he is really taking or if it is just for comfort.

Any insights from people who have weaned would be welcomed.
Thanks

Dropped night feed first as DS seemed much more interested in morning one, then the morning one a few weeks later, around 14 months. I was surprised the engorgement wasn't too bad and went after a few days. Gave a lidded beaker of cow's milk instead, he didn't really notice dropping the evening one, but was a bit cross for the first few days about the morning one. It was fine after that.

I would drop the morning feed first then wait a week or two. You would be surprised at how engorged you would get by going cold turkey.
At 16 months you will not need DH to give feeds TBH. Does he drink from a cup?

thanks for the advice.

He does drink from a cup, but he would have to have someone with him when he drinks ... so I thought maybe it would be easier if DH was there rather than me. I am not sure what I'll do about the evening ones as DH is still at work.

If I am lying down or even sitting on the sofa he does grab my top and "ask" for milk so I think if I am not there when he usually is bf it might be easier (for both of us ... )

I am feeling sad that this is going to be over. I had so wanted it to be his choice rather than a decision that I feel I have to make.

Do you have regular periods? If so, breastfeeding will not be stopping conception. It is a myth that your body is drained when feeding. You might be stopping unnecessarliy.

Also, you did get pregnanct already so your body can do it. Many women have successful pregnancies when feeding (including me). I miscarried when I wasn't breastfeeding. I think perhaps you are associating your miscarriage with breastfeeding?

Also, another point. You may find that he will suddenly stop anyway. The longest I fed was 15 months and babies made their own choice. I really don't think you are ready to stop completely.

Drop the morning feed and see how you go. You might find that continuing the night one for as long as you both want may make you feel better about it.

Hi Mears - Sadly I also had a mc before I had a full term pregnancy so I am not necessarily associating mc with bf. I am just a little impatient to make sure that I get into a regular cycle as quickly as possible. Partly to make sure I up my chances to conceive as quickly as possible and also possibly to rule out any niggling doubts that bf and mc are connected. My age also worries me 37 whilst not "old" it does make it statistically harder, unfortunately.

I actually conceived very quickly after my first cycle started. Prior to pregnancy my periods were very regular.

I also found that when I got pregnant (after my first period) when I was still bf my DS went from feeding just twice a day to being so much more needy in the early weeks of the pregnancy and wanting to feed much more regularly ... this could be coincidence although it also continued throughout the early part of the pregnancy as we also had guests staying for 3 weeks just before I mc and his sleeping pattern became irratic as well ... and he needed more feeding and I became exhausted.

Are your periods irregular then?

I have only had one period since giving birth to my DS in Dec 07. After that period I got pregnant. I then mc two weeks ago so am waiting for the next one ... which I fear might be delayed due to BF, hence my wish to stop BF to give my body a chance to get back on track. I hope to have two cycles before we TTC.
Prior to my successful pregnancy I have always had regular periods.

It is amazing how bodies work. My periods returned like clockwork at 6 weeks with my first exclusively breastfed baby.

I got pregnant with my third baby while breastfeeding my 2nd. The longest I ever went without periods was 4 months after birth.

Usually breastfeeding delays periods for a while but once they start, that is the cycle established again.

You may well find that your periods will be returning now with the fact you have had one and conceived. It means that you are ovulating.

Drop the morning feed and wait and see if you have another period in 2-3 weeks, if that makes you feel more confident.

If not, you could drop the night feed after that. If you do then you can see how you feel about stopping all together.

I think it is highly unlikley that you will not have another period.

Hi Mears, thanks for your thoughts. It is great to discuss this, however I feel in the interest of making sure that I am ovulating properly I have to stop.

Although I don't know why I miscarried recently one thought was it could have possibly been ovulation with out luteal competence (my doctor spoke about this and I also found some info on the kellymom website), as my miscarriages are still a bit of a mystery. I would just like to rule out every possibility also I really just want to get on and try for another. Age really is a factor. I spoke to my doctor about all of my concerns and although she really wanted me to continue bf, but I really do feel I want to stop even though I am sad about it, my doctor is supportive of my decision.

So really my question was. How do I stop? I think I will drop the morning feed first and then in a week or so drop the evening feed.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond and for being supportive about bf. I really have loved the experience and hopefully in about a year I will be able to embark on the journey again with our second baby.

Hi

I weaned DD at 15mo because I was preg with DS.

She was already only on 2 feeds/day for 3 days a week (when I was at work) and 3 feeds the rest - was having normal cows milk the rest of the time.

I dropped the mid-day feed first, followed about 1 week later by the morning one, then about 2 weeks later the evening one.

Surprisingly she had no issues about stopping and I don't remember even getting engorged (could be selective memory though!)

Hope all goes well

I stopped when dd was 2 years and 3 months as I had an ectopic preg and so had to take strong drugs to sort it out .So I had to do it a bit 'cold turkey', was surprisingly easy under the circumstances....dd asked for it and it was a bit heartbreaking when I refused and she said 'Please...just a little bit'

Had kinda wondered how I was ever going to stop and the situation just arose by itself...had terribly painful engorged breasts which I had to relieve myself of just once in the bath...so best to do it gradually imo

I understand what you are saying. I always left the night bedtime feed as the last one to drop, so I would advise dropping the morning one and giving at least 2 weeks for your body to adjust.

When you decide to drop the last one, you could do it on a don't offer, don't refuse basis. That means if he is not looking for a feed, do not offer it. If however he is nuzzling looking for a feed, let him have it. Before you know it he will stop and not even miss it.

Sorry Happybump - just looked at the Kellymom site and think that it is highly unlikely that ovulation without luteal competence was the cause of your miscarriage.

You miscarried at 13 weeks therefore the pregnancy had implanted. (I am a midwife BTW)The next part of info on kellymom says that breastfeeding does not affect fertility. Have cut and pasted as a reminer:

Ovulation without luteal competence (After the egg is released, fertilization may take place. During the luteal phase, the uterine lining is prepared for implantation as the egg travels down the fallopian tube and into the uterus. If the uterine lining is not adequately prepared for implantation, the implantation will probably not be successful.)

Full luteal competence (Full fertility -- at this point breastfeeding no longer has any effect on your chance of pregnancy.)

I am sorry to harp back to this but I just want to make sure that you stop breastfeeding because you want to, not because you feel you have to.

thanks again. I really appreciate the further clarification, that was one thing I was confused about .. why would there be a heartbeat if it had not fully implanted. We are in a period of acceptance that this baby just wasn't meant to come to term for us. The baby measured 9 weeks at my 13 week scan, we think perhaps the baby slowed in growth a few weeks before. As when we were measured at 8+ weeks we only measured 7.

I am impatient so I think from a selfish perspective my husband and I have decided that it's time for me to stop bf. We don't think it will be a bad thing for our DS although there will be a period of adjustment for all of us. I love the don't offer don't refuse philosophy but I think I'd like to end it more definitely.

Wuggleg - thanks for your reassurance and sharing your experience

nereidesinthemist - I am sorry for your loss. Ectopic must be very painful and also very hard for you emotionally to stop bf. Thanks for sharing

Righto then.

Stop morning feed first.

2 weeks later stop bedtime one.

You will be amazed at how quickly they forget all about breastfeeding (sadly).

Good luck with conceiving

thank you (and thank you sincerely for your wonderful support of bf)