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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

anyone else been ALL night feeding? i really need some support,.

26 replies

GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 04/04/2009 05:49

hi
exactly that really been feeding for 11hrs on and off. DD wont sleep more than 1 to 1.5hrs at a time.

DH sleeping on sofa as there is no point us both being awake but i feel soooo alone

Anyone else up too?

OP posts:
Original poster
GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 04/04/2009 06:04

guess no one else is up.. birds singing now.... wish there was a miracle drug to reset my sleep so I could function today.

Am rambling as there is no one else to talk to

Baby now asleep on nursing pillow- she will wake the second I move her to crib

OP posts:
Original poster
GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 04/04/2009 06:04

guess no one else is up.. birds singing now.... wish there was a miracle drug to reset my sleep so I could function today.

Am rambling as there is no one else to talk to

Baby now asleep on nursing pillow- she will wake the second I move her to crib

OP posts:
georgimama · 04/04/2009 06:08

DS is 2 so no (although he did decide at 4.50 that he wanted to play with Thomas the Tank Engine) but yes I have been there, I feel your pain. DS was a nightmare.

How old is your daughter - I take it you are breastfeeding?

Hang in there, it all gets a lot better, and I can promise you that after this SAS style introduction to living on 3 hours sleep per night, the rest of your adult life will be a breeze by comparison - every night in future when you manage more than 6 hours sleep will feel like you've had a weekend at a spa.

Original poster
GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 04/04/2009 06:25

Thanks Georgimama- how long did it go on for with you?

I am breast feeding and DD is only 11 days old... bless her. Glad to here it gets better... like a lot of things its hard to believe at the time.

Just feel so lonely tonight with DH downstairs... and Im super scared of getting PND so as soon as I feel like this im double worried...

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georgimama · 04/04/2009 06:34

Um,if your baby is only 11 days old I really don't want to dishearten you, so I am somewhat reluctant to answer.

DS was a total nightmare, I must stress. Most babies aren't like this, and whilst being a very ballsy type who went back to work full time when he was 8 months old, I am also a bit of an attachment hippy when it comes to parenting (if you can believe that is possible).

OK, by about 6 weeks he had started to spread out the night feeds to every three hours or so, but he did have lots of dipping back to marathon feeding sessions. I was still BFing when he was 22 months and if he wanted a night feed I let him have one even then. But when I decided it was time to stop he very quickly (within a few nights) started sleeping through or nearly through.

I found, whilst it is tiring, the easiest thing was to let him feed whenever he wanted because then I could lie down and rest. Don't know what your MW has told you about sleeping with the baby in bed (probably not to, I expect, I tried to co-sleep with DS in the maternity ward and nearly caused a security incident) but I would heartily recommend it. Get DH off the sofa and in bed with both of you, it's good for you all.

There's lots of support here. Don't be afraid of PND. If you are feeling low seek help early - be honest with your MW/HV when they ask you how you are doing. It's nothing to be ashamed of. There are loads of threads here about it (I was fortunate and apart from a bit of "baby blues" for the first couple of weeks wasn't affected) and loads of women who can help.

You're doing a great job.

georgimama · 04/04/2009 06:35

And that's probably the longest post I have ever written on MN!

whomovedmychocolate · 04/04/2009 06:45

Oh god, I've been up every two hours every night for eight months so far and before that with DD for six months at least. You do get used to it, you won't die and I know it feels like it!

I used to co-sleep with DD which made it easier, can't do that with DS, he's a snorer!

Congratulations on your little one though - for most it's because they are trying to pile on the pounds and get your milk supply in ship shape. In which case you probably have a couple more weeks and things will get better.

It's not PND when you are just so knackered you feel like crying all the time btw, that's called clinical exhaustion which is quite different.

Try and get a nap if you can later, even 45 minutes can make a huge difference.

Chin up dear, we've all been there!

LolaLadybird · 04/04/2009 07:48

It does get easier at about 6 weeks or so - although if someone had told me that at 11 days with DD, it still would have seemed like light years away! Both of mine fed like your DD to start with, it's normal but the sleep deprivation is really tough. I never really understood the idea of sleep deprivation as a torture method until I had a newborn and then it made perfect sense.

Co-sleeping can help. I took mine into the spare room because it would've felt too crowded with 3 of us in bed but that's just me. If you can master feeding lying down (I never really did) that will help too. In hospital they tucked me up with DS on a pillow alongside me so I had my arm round him but he was raised a bit so I didn't worry about rolling on him - meant he could latch on and off as he needed too while I sort of slept. Tbh, just the closeness to you will probably help DD sleep better. And don't worry about starting any bad habits - just do what you need to do to get you through the first few weeks. I really didn't want to be co-sleeping ad infinitum (again, just me) but by about 6 weeks or so, mine would sleep for a few hours at a time in the cot or moses basket.

The nights are really lonely - have you got a book on the go? With DS, I read some really trashy chick lit book (v easy reading at 3 am!) which would help to pass the time through the endless feeds. Also, think about all the other women around the world also up doing exactly the same thing, that made me feel better!

Good luck and keep posting to help get you through it.

georgimama · 04/04/2009 07:53

Or get wireless broadband and MN in bed whilst feeding.

Original poster
GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 04/04/2009 12:06

Thank you for your lovely replies. Made me Blub though
I m keen to do co sleep if it will help, we've done it during the day but she doesnt always latch properly so sometimes needs help so I dont get shredded nipples. I prob need to surrender to it. Last two nights not help by having a guest overnight.

Mw coming to weigh her today (as she had wt gain issues) despite being 10lb 12 at birth! Will chat to her about feeling low.

Baby must be so over tired now. She's been awake for 4 hrs after bad night. :-S

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georgimama · 04/04/2009 12:09

Swaddle her up tight, stick her in the pram and rock her. She'll soon go to sleep.

At 10 days her latch probably isn't brilliant yet, I was all ready to ditch BFing after a fortnight but got some Lasinoh cream (if you don't have any of this send your DH to Boots now) and it made all the difference.

Having overnight guests with a 10 day old is madness. Make them leave.

dan39 · 04/04/2009 18:50

Ditto on the guests front! And good luck with co-sleeping to feed the pillow prop sounds like a good idea.

LolaLadybird · 04/04/2009 21:49

Oh yes - definitely Lansinoh! The first time round I bought Mothercare's own brand in readiness but ditched it a week or so in. Lansinoh is more expensive but one tube goes a long way and even if you end up with some left over, a friend reliably informs me that it makes a brilliant lip balm!!

MamaHobgoblin · 04/04/2009 22:41

I think I was feeding DS for 1.5 hours at a time (the time he spent latched on, anyway) and then I'd kick DH awake because I was afraid to lumber down the bed without waking baby, we'd swaddle him up and put in basket - he'd be awake maybe 2 hours later. This went on a very few weeks and then started getting better.

Co-sleeping really does save your sanity - could you get a bed guard from someone/Freecycle? Local midwives may even lend them out. If DH is sleeping on sofa, so much the better, you'll have loads of room! Use rolled muslins to prop DD on her side as she faces you to feed (have them below the level of her face) and then lay her on her back when she drops off. You may not sleep deeply (but deep sleep will return eventually, I promise!) but you will sleep, and she'll be reassured by your proximity. Good luck, and it will get better soon!

Original poster
GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 05/04/2009 03:39

Thanks. Turns out Dd wasn't getting enough and my supply had dropped as I was exhausted. . She'd lost more wt when weighed today So hunger was reason she wasn't sleeping. MW suggested giving her some of the milk I'd colllected and frozen and she hoovered 4oz in 5mns then slept for 3.5hrs straight. DH took her out so I got some sleep in the afternoon. We are now expressing off a small amount after most feeds and topping her up when she needs it. Its working ok so far and is good as dh can help and its increasing my supply.

Will try the cosleepung thing though once she regains her birth weight.

Overnight guest- yes agree it was madness. Was special on off occasion for Dh so his friend came to help celebrate. Didn't help that Dh spent sat afternoon drinking either. Won't be repeated! Think I scared the friend off anyway as I was blubbing mess when he came to say goodbye

Things better tonght. Dh did a top up after her last feed which meant I got 4 hrs sleep before this feed. Makes a HUGE difference.

OP posts:
Original poster
GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 05/04/2009 03:42

thank you. Support here is fab when up feeding in the small hrs

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Cazzaben · 05/04/2009 03:49

Well my DS2 is wide awake... Although for different reasons... He's 11 months and has decided to let everyone know he now has his own mind. DS1 is sleeping soundly with DH...

How are you feeling? It really does get easier... I promise Bless you xxx

Original poster
GYoIsReallyHavingABaby · 05/04/2009 12:14

Thanks Cazzaben...

I've realised i can cope with baby (easy to say when its the weekend and DH is helping by taking her out during the day. But mainly Im so sad as DH clearly feels like he cant help with feeding and he wants to so much. Seems to be getting him down, feel like we are silently disagreeing with regards to how to feed the baby.. I might be wrong but think he would rather we bottle fed her so he can share responsibility. This might be the answer eventually but not yet...

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jellybeans · 05/04/2009 12:57

Yes DS didn't sleep a wink and fed all night until he was about 10 weeks old. He then slept through all of a sudden.

Cazzaben · 05/04/2009 21:45

Keep it up as long as you can GYo...
But never feel like you have failed (as many of us do).
I know after about 8 weeks of BF my DS1 I couldn't cope anymore and gave him formula milk for the night time feeds.
Don't be hard on yourself though.... I was a changed woman after that!

The first 6-8 weeks are the hardest. Good to hear you have a supportive DH...

xxx

happynappies · 05/04/2009 21:59

Hi GYo, sorry to hear you're having a tough time... It does get better, honest! Don't be sad though, if you do decide not to bf it will be for very good reasons - don't beat yourself up about it. If you stop you will have done so much for your dd, and you should be proud, not sad. Having said that, if you think you'll have regrets, can you get any other advice to help you e.g. bf support group/counsellor etc? I know the feeding can seem endless and can be so exhausting, but it really does get better. My ds is 5 weeks old now and I'm waiting for the magic 'getting better' time, as I'm on my knees!

LolaLadybird · 06/04/2009 11:21

Really good that your DH is so supportive and wanting to be so involved. My DH was/is also v supportive with the DC's but nonetheless, was quietly pleased that he couldn't get involved in night feeds when I was bfing . If DD is OK taking expressed milk from a bottle then maybe go with that and make that the compromise for now.

LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 06/04/2009 11:32

Gyo your DH CAN help with the feeding, maybe not directly but by ensuring that he does his turn at childcare at the weekends so you can get sleep, bringing you drinks if you are thirsty whilst b/f or just keeping you company whilst b/f (personally I found b/f incredibly boring until I got a laptop and wireless broadband!) anything that makes your life easier so you can keep on breastfeeding is helping feed the baby. Tell your DH how important b/f is to you and all the other ways he can help with the baby or just help you.

oh and what goergiemama said about sleep is true, pre-DC i thought less than 7 hours sleep was akin to water torture, now if i get 6-7 hours sleep I think all my christmas's have come at once

DownyEmerald · 06/04/2009 15:47

It gets better! My dd did a growth spurt at about 10 days and fed for what felt like 24 hours non stop. Possibly exagerating slightly! There was another one about three weeks I think.

I would recommend co-sleeping to maximise your sleep.

Alibabaandthe40bunnies · 06/04/2009 23:27

Stick with it - the first 2/3 weeks are just hell and it's impossible to think straight.

Talk to yuur DH. DH and I just talked and talked and talked about anything and everything to keep our channels of communication open. Tell each other you love each other, that you are great parents, just say whatever pops into your head. It's a crazy time and the last thing you need is to feel like your husband/wife is a stranger you can't be honest with.

In terms of the feeding/sleeping - it really does get better. There is lots that DH can do to support you - there is a great book called 'A New Father: Dad's guide to the 1st year' by a guy called Armin Brott. It gives men loads of great info and advice, not only about the baby, but about how they are likely to be feeling and also explaining what their wives are going through (hormones, pain etc etc). DH found it brilliant, it really reassured him that what he (and I) were experiencing was entirely normal and he felt better equipped to cope. It is very supportive of breastfeeding and talks a lot about what husbands/partners can do to assit and enable breastfeeding rather than feeling like a spare part because they don't have boobs.

It will get better, you are doing brilliantly.