Need some advice and perspective

[JoyS]

I have a lovely 8.5 month old who was exclusively bf'd until she started having some solids.

Periods started again when she was 4 months and my supply seems to drop way down in the week before it comes on, so she is up all night trying to fill up her little tummy at the time when I can least handle being sleep-deprived. Tuesday night was awful, she was up 4 times between midnight and 6am, I was a zombie the next day and can't nap as I also have 2.10 yo dd (who doesn't nap.) So Wednesday evening I gave her bananas with rice and a bottle of formula for her tea. She guzzled down 5 oz of formula and gobbled up the banana and rice, had her bath and then a nice long feed at the breast. Went down about 7:30, slept til 2am, fed, right back to sleep until 6:30. Last night was pretty much the same.

So I feel like I've been starving her and am worried about my supply. Will one formula feed a day at this stage impact my supply anymore than replacing a feed with a solid meal would? Also feel guilty as formula never passed dd1's lips, I bf'ed her for 18 months.

Also. My mom is coming to visit next week and she is a die-hard bf-er. Don't know what she will say about the formula but am already cringing.

Any advice would be appreciated. Am so conflicted on the formula--is she actually not getting enough from me? Please help.

I wouldn't feel guilty about giving formula. I'm all for breastfeeding and loved BFing my DS but when he was 6 months I got a terrible virus and my previously flowing milk supply just went and we had no choice but to formula feed him. It broke my heart initially but formula is so 'good' these days, it's not thick and false like it used to be. If it helps your baby feel full and get all the nutrients she needs AND gives you some sleep to stop you going insane, then how can it be a bad thing?

As for your mum, she must understand the situation. Coping with 2 kids is hard enough, but coping with 2 kids on no sleep is impossible.

BTW, I think it's easy to feel guilty about the milk supply thing, but it's out of your control really. Hormones do mean things to us girlies

I used to give my bfd children tea which consisted of milky cheesy things or baby cereal with formula in it, rice pudding, semolina etc so unless your baby is actually allergic to dairy, surely she has just made the formula part of her tea as if it was cheese sauce or cereal? It doesn't seem that it would impact more than a solid meal would.
Is it that your dd1 never had any dairy in her diet apart from bstmilk?
So I would just offer lots more bstfds and not worry at all, and make her tea more filling if you want to..
I think at that age my dcs had 5-6 bfds a day. Certainly the milky tea/supper did not impact on my supply in the sense of replacing bfdng, although obviously it meant they needed less bstmilk, they of course got other nutrients from the food they were consuming, fats proteins, carbohydrates vitamins.

I wouldn't feel guilty either. But if you feel bad about the formula, why not just given extra food and continue to bf as normal.

B

Sorry not being very clear, didn't give a bottle of formula with tea, just used milk in cooking, formula or otherwise.

The issue is whether baby would prefer sucking from a bottle than from mum thus possibly reducing mum's supply longterm. That might be case, so I would stick to milk in food, rather than separately.

Thanks for your kind post lovelymama.

To clarify, dd1 had plenty of dairy once she started eating solids, but she loved her solids from the beginning. At this age I would have done just what swanriver did, given her a more substantial solid tea, cheese sauce, pasta etc, but dd2 is just. not. interested. It's all I can do to get a bit of puree down her twice a day although she's getting a bit better now and seems hungry for it in the evenings. I'm not worried about allergies, she seems to tolerate yogurt and formula just fine.

I have been offering the breast pretty constantly during the day. Little and often suits her most of the time and she's gained weight and is a happy girl. It's just when I have PMT there doesn't seem to be much there. As soon as it comes on they seem to fill up again (and more because of all the extra sucking) so I don't know.

Also with dd1 periods didn't return until she was already on 3 meals a day so it was much easier to supplement with regular food.

It's all so confusing.