BF has no benefits to baby after 3 months....er...

[LuluLulabelle]

This is what my mums nutritionist friend has told her. There is no additional benefit to the baby after it is 3 months old so you might as well switch to formula.

I don't agree with this and I don't think formula is the easier option (at least not for us).

However, my mum has no reason to question her friends comment. I think the reason she has told me this is that she has been trying to encourage me to switch to formula for DD.

She has the best of intentions, I have been finding looking after 9 week old DD difficult lately so have come back to my mums in a bit of a state a week ago for some help (DH and I live miles away from our families and I struggled when he went back to work). She thinks BF is taking its toll and that I would get more rest if she could give DD formula in the night or if I could just decide to go out for the day and leave DD with her. I compromised and expressed so that I could get an early night but DD cried while her milk was being heated and it just struck me as pointless. I couldn't sleep and my milk was already at the right temperature so I just got up and fed her. I don't want her crying for 10 mins while someone warms her bottle.

Mum thinks this is the answer and insists I won't get better doing it all on my own. I think she told me what the nutritionist said so I wouldn't feel guilty switching to FF.

So the reason I am posting is to ask for links to articles about the negatives of formula. Does anyone have any please?

Apologies to anyone who is FF, I am not looking to make anyone feel bad about their choices - I just want to inform my mum (and possibly her nutrionist friend!).

I share thumbmonkey's doubts about this 'nutritionist' too. Is she from the Gillian McKeith School of Nutrition?

Your mum is just trying to help, I'm sure. My mil has had a similar chat with me, still ex-bfing at 5 months. She said I looked tired and drawn. I told her that I'd look more tired if I had to prat about with bottles and formula instead of popping out a boob when required!

Why would breastmilk change into something less nutritious at 3 mths, 4 mths, 6 mths or whatever arbitrary date is suggested? Does the body wake up, look at the calendar, and make sure the breastmilk production line starts turning its product to dishwater?

It just doesn't make sense and I would like to confront this 'nutritionist' - a term which is not protected, by the way, unlike 'dietitian' where at least you have to sit exams and stuff before you're allowed to call yourself by the name.

Pink, I don't see your point. Of course you cannot easily tell if someone was bf or ff...or if their parents were smokers or drinkers, or if they suffer from migraines, or if they eat five fruit 'n' veg a day, or if they had 'flu last winter, or if they grew up in a home with books in it....blah blah blah. All sorts of things impact on health and well-being but remain invisible. So what?

drosophila, I doubt the odd bottle of formula would be the end of the world and if I was complaining about DD waking me 10 times a night & getting no sleep then I'd understand her suggestion. She's not suggesting doing it occassionally but giving up altogether. Even to compromise and say, ok lets make the 10pm bottle formula is a slippery slope - my mum & DH have both bottle fed DD all night in order to let me sleep - wonderful intentions but upsetting and uncomfortable for me.

She may have been a dietician but whatever her title she works at a very large hospital. I was shocked by the comment and had to ask my mum the next day "was it a clinician who said that or someone in admin?".

I understand that as my mum she wants to help me (thanks hunker) and if I keep on saying no then she'll leave it but she'll keep dropping these little bits of incorrect information and I'd rather she understood the facts than see it purely as an emotional choice (which I guess a big part of it is now).

My little sis is pg and plans to BF despite the derisory paid mat leave she gets and I want my mum to have the facts before she convinces my sister that formula is best. Don't get me wrong, if thats what she chooses I won't make her feel guilty but I would rather she had positive support based on fact.

My mum is an intelligent woman, I hoped that if she could read about BF v FF from reliable sources she might be less dismissive of BF.

hunkermunker, that leaflet for grandparents is great - think I will send it MIL too who also has issues with BF -less to do with concern for my health and more about a perception that the quality of my milk is poor because DD fed upto hourly the last time we saw them (she was 5 weeks old!).

found this on kellymom

You mentioned earlier that your Mum thinks Bfeeding is 'taking its toll'. Do you think there is anything in what she says? No amount of pointing out the health benefits to her will change her mind as what is concerning her is watching her daughter going through the mill. It is possible she is clutching at straws and Bfeeding is one easy target especially if she is not a fan.

I think others have suggested practical ways in which she can help. I think I would have found Bfeeding less draining if I had someone doing the washing or whatever. I think focus on what else she can do to relieve the pressure. Tell her you enjoy Bfeeding and it is the only thing keeping you sane.

I remember a dentist telling me that you shouldn't breastfeed after 6 months. I tell you everyone has an opinion about bfeeding.

I do hope the leaflet helps - it was one of the best I found (that's my site - which I've sadly quite neglected recently!).

She thinks if I didn't have to feed at night I'd get more sleep & handle the days more easily but DD only usually wakes once a night and it genuinely isn't a problem. Last night I got 5.5 hours before she needed feeding then another 4. I honestly can't say that I am wishing for her not to wake at all & I don't feel tired really.

Two hour colicky crying spells were taking their toll but I think you're right, she sees BF as the easy target. She only BF my youngest brother, the rest of us received donated BM because we were premie and I know she found feeding my brother hard - she worked unsociable hours in A&E back then so BF probably took its toll on her after a long nightshift (my brother loved it, wouldn't quit!).

Something else I have found with a lot of people who offer help - you ask them for X but they want to do Y, not X. Feeding a baby seems to be something people are desperate to do but rocking her while she cries is not. Feeding her takes 10 minutes and I can eat, read, post on MN, just sit and watch her little face. Rocking her for 2 hours kills my back and is the reason I was upset enough to ask my mum for help!

Just to offer support, my mum was convinced that bfdng was exhausting my sister and I but after 6 bfd grandchildren she is completely converted and thinks it very odd when people don't. Tell how much you value her help with all the other aspects of babycare, cups of tea, cuddling baby, being there, perhaps taking baby for a walk so you can have a short break and that that's what you need to stop you being exhausted. Also that you will be truly miserable if you don't feed your baby yourself, your heart is set on it.

It's certainly true that bfeeding kept me sane. I am a breastfeeding peer support worker, which means that I've done a ten week course on bfeeding and help anyone who wants to bfeed on the maternity ward and also at support groups. The reason it kept me sane was that the action of breastfeeding produces the hormone seratonin, the same hormone you produce when you orgasm that gives you that lovely swimmy feeling after sex. Seratonin is definitely what kept me going. And cake. Could she make you cake?

So completely agree with your last post. When I was up all night with feeding 7 week old longed for mum to bring me a cup of tea first thing (like dh did at home) Instead got lectured on how difficult I was making life for myself!
But unfortunately you can't quite phrase it like that to her so try positive affirmation of all the other things she is helping with, and ignoring annoying comments

BTW - why do you need to heat your EBM? Ds was supplemented with EBM from an early age (intially to support weight gain and therefter jsut to keeep in the habit as I was going back to work when he was 4 months old). We were able to feed him with EBM straight from the fridge - makes things much easier!

Drosophila you are so right - I am amazed at how many people have opinion about me BF like my male colleague who had strong opinions about feeding past 6 months, my grandad ("stop before she gets teeth because that'll hurt"), checkout woman in the supermarket ("get her on bottles, she'll sleep through then"), MIL ("it ruins your boobs!" - weren't that great to start with. I don't know why they all want to comment about it (with the exception of the woman in Sainsbury's, I know none of them BF!).

Hunker, I am going to have a look through your site and arm myself with more info for my future battles - I'll need it if I am to continue BF for my entire year off as I'd hoped to...

I didn't know you could give EBM straight from the fridge!

Mum does bring me a cup of tea before she goes to work each morning and gives DD her bath every night. I definately can't complain about how much she does. I suppose its probably because I am her DD and she wants to do as much for me as possible. I can understand that.

You may not manage to persuade your baby to take EBM cold - many bfed babies like it pretty warm (body temperature - feels pretty hot (obv not scalding though!). Your DD may not take it though!

Hope you find the site useful - I haven't got much time to keep it current atm but if you have any suggestions for it, let me know.

Very interesting to see you saying that people who offer help usually have specific things they want to do - somehow they don't really want to actually help if it means doing one of the less "glamorous" jobs!

Hope the colickiness eases v soon.

DS used to take bottles from the fridge too. It does make life a lot easier. I can't remember how I managed it though as most babies do seem to like it warm. It's so much better for traveling too - a cool box and you are sorted.

Oh, and practice your "yep, isn't it great!" with a cheery yet dismissive tone for when people say "are you STILL bfing?!".

Mind you, when you're still bfing a 3.3yo (as I am), people don't tend to ask as they either assume you aren't or they're all cheeried out

LLB - if the "nutritionist" works in a hospital then either she is a dietitian or a clinical nutritionist (or, as you suggested, a receptionist!) as to my knowledge no other brand of nutrition advisor is acceptable to be employed by the NHS. IN which case she needs to do some CPD and fast!

There is constant change in the constituents of BM, but the protein content drops below that which is really necessary for continued growth by about 6m, so other foods need to be introduced to supplement protein intake.
this is a nice short piece on the constituents of BM and this is another which gives more info on constituents and why it is useful even after 6m

I will add one small caveat. I am still bf'ing my DS, up to 5 times a day at 16mo; I am taking daily supplements (well, most days anyway) but in the last few months, 2 of my teeth have broken. All of them were filled anyway but it seems a bit strange that corners were breaking off - I asked my dentist if she thought it might be related to continued bf'ing and she said it was possible. So if you are going to carry on beyond 6 or even 12m, make sure YOU are getting enough nutrients, especially calcium, because your BM will take priority over your teeth.

thumbbunny - babies start to need more iron from about six mths. Protein is not an issue at that stage.

Thanks everyone for your very knowledgeable replies.

Hunkermunker - that will be my next challenge, there has already been talking of weaning DD at 4 months. I think I'll be saying "yes, isn't it great!" for quite some time!