I am so tired - please help!

[TaraQ]

I have posted here before and have had so many positive responses - I am hoping it will be the same again. My twin boys were born at 35 weeks and they are now 6 weeks old. One is half a pound bigger than the other but they are both now formula fed. They both have 3oz of formula and take 8 feeds in 24 hours. The larger baby would take more but is often sick on it. The smaller one only just manages to take 3 oz every feed.

They generally will go for 3 hours between feeds day and night. Last week for several nights they were going longer at night time - we would feed them at 6.30 and they would go to 10.30 for example. But over the past few days things are going backwards. They are now waking every 2 hours. We feed them together at night time but last night we were practically up the whole night.

I know that this can be put down to a "growth spurt" but I can't help but feel that this is the answer that is given to everything! I really want them to go longer between feeds. What can I do? I was fine with a 3 hourly cycle but 2 hourly is ridiculous! Should I be trying to give them more? Should I increase feeds to 4 oz? This would probably be fine if both took it but I have a feeling that only the larger one would take it - that would be useless if we want to feed them at the same time.

i am at my wits end and so tired. Am I expecting too much from them? I know I shouldn't compare them to my dd (full term and born at over 8oz) but they are showing no signs of going longer. They now weigh 7lb 2oz and 7lb 13oz. Has any one any advice?....

I am really sorry to say this TaraQ, but you may be expecting too much from them, know this probabaly isn't what you wanted to hear. Such tiny tummies need frequent, small feeds. They probably can't hold more than the 3oz or so at the moment, but things will get better as they get bigger and naturally start to up their feeds. Just try and hold in there and get as much help as you can. Try and sleep when they sleep. My DS was 7lb 15oz at birth and had 2hrly feeds for quite a while. The newborn stage is bloody hard but it gets easier, time passes. You have my sympathies, it must be so much harder with two.

probably- sorry.

Yes, sorry to say I agree with Supercherry. My DS is 7 months now and a whopper, but had a spate of 2 hourly feeds as recently as 6 weeks ago. His first 3 months were pretty much one long growth spurt.

Hope someone has more practical advice for you! I'm sure the multiple mums will be full of helpful tips to get you through this stage, it must be knackering.

You poor thing, you know EVERYBODY sympathises I'm sure, but this seems normal and yes, probably a growth spurt. It's difficult when you're in the moment to believe it, but IT WILL GET BETTER! Having twins must be so so hard, can you get any help with them? Someone who could stay with you for á few weeks?

Do you have a DH/DP? Is there any way that in the early evening, if not the night, one of you could manage feeding by yourself? At least you could take it in turns to at least have one decent 4-5 hour stretch.

If, for instance, you know there's a reasonable chance they'll wake at 11, having fed at 9, could you go to bed immediately after they feed at 9 and leave your DH to do the 11pm feed? If he'd struggle to feed both at exactly the same time, could he wake one baby and feed it, then wake and feed the other one? Then the next night you do 2 feeds in a row and he gets a rest.
I know waking them seems 'wrong' when you're struggling to get them to sleep longer between feeds, but it would at least mean you each get one 4-5 hour stretch every other night.

Sorry if that's a non-starter, just trying to think of anything that might help. It must be incredibly hard having two so little.

Thanks Hopefully - I had thought of that idea too but we haven't actually tried it. At the moment we each take a twin and do the feeds together. I definately think we might give your idea a go - at least we could get a decent stretch of a few hours each. Thank you x

I think that's the way to go TaraQ, it is agony with two babies screaming house down at once, but I think you do adapt,steel yourself to deal with it. We started with one baby each in different rooms, but it was too exhausting for dh as he had to work as well, and I had some help in the day (I don't know if you have any or are coping alone with three)
So what we used to do was this, I stayed out of earshot with the babies all night and he took them in the morning at about 7.00 and kept them away from me so that I could sleep till 8.30. Then I had a nap in the afternoon if I possibly could scrounge one.

And yes it was every two hours, but they did settle into a different pattern in a few weeks. Dh used to put my older toddler to bed, and deal with him if HE woke.

It was awful though.

Hi TaraQ really hope this isn't a useless post but do you have help in the day? our local colleges offer their childcare students to help with anyone with two or more babies, for free....i know it might not be practical but perhaps having help in the day might help at night?
completely with you in sympathy though and wish i could offer some proper help