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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

using friend's breast milk

25 replies

chefswife · 01/04/2009 07:39

my girlfriend, whose DD is only 3 weeks younger than my 4 month old, has a freezer full of expressed milk because she is overloaded with it. i on the other hand make only just enough to feed DD. so when i mentioned it too DH he said i should ask her for some. not that i need to but would it be weird? she did mention that she didn't know what she was going to do with it. we don't have any milk donation program here. i think too that i was amazed that DH thought this would be perfectly normal/sane thing to ask. i was wondering what others thought about that.

OP posts:

HidingmyMNname · 01/04/2009 07:44

I have just had about 15 pints off one of my friends and am so grateful. My freezer stash was being quickly depleted after going back to work and with her being off for a year she was not using as much ebm as she had thought she would and it would have gone out of date.
If you don't want it I will happily take it off your friend - and buy her some nice food to fill the gap in her freezer!

IheartNY · 01/04/2009 07:46

If the children are a similar age then I would if I needed to!
I wouldnt ask if you dont actually need it at the moment, but if your friend mentions again about not knowing what to do with it, you could say 'I'll have some if theres spare!' with a smile and see how she reacts...

Pruners · 01/04/2009 07:48

Message withdrawn

Original poster

chefswife · 01/04/2009 07:49

that is amazing. i work from home luckily.

OP posts:

moondog · 01/04/2009 07:50

Chef, the point is thought that to make more, you simply need to ffed more.Giving her EBM will reduce demand on your body which will then produce less milk.
Tink it's fantastic to share such a precious commodity in principle thoguh.

SoupDreggon · 01/04/2009 07:51

It is no weirder than feeding a baby with modified milk from another species.

Original poster

chefswife · 01/04/2009 07:51

iheartNY thats a good idea... the 'i'll have some...' bit.

OP posts:

GColdtimer · 01/04/2009 07:52

I am impressed that your DH thought it was a normal thing to ask. A friend was offered some ebm from her friend and her husband said No.

If it is going to go out of date and you need it, I would tell her that you would happily use it.

Trinityrhino · 01/04/2009 08:07

perfectly fine to do IMO
infact totally makes sense, dontlet her throw it away

Jackstini · 02/04/2009 14:32

Out of interest, does anyone know if a baby has milk from 2 ladies, does it get 2 lots of different immunities and therefore more protection?

Marthasmama · 02/04/2009 14:36

It wouldn't bother me. I have a huge stash that I probably won't use as I'm at home with dd (and she's too thick to work out how to use a bottle). To be honest, I'd have no problem with my friend bfing dd. She nearly had to when dh took her to my friend's ds's christening! I would also be happy to feed my friend's babies, if necessary.

StarlightMcKenzie · 02/04/2009 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sachertorte · 02/04/2009 14:47

I accepted ebm for my lo soon after she was born, and didn´t think twice about it.. Now I can´t help worrying about any infections etc. that could have been passed on. eg. HIV could be contracted, couldn´t it, and I don´t know if anything else...

Just a thought. Are special tests done on donated milk? I would expect so. And your friend? I would investiate first what diseases could be contracted if any.

tiktok · 02/04/2009 14:53

Sachertorte, donated milk from a milk bank is always tested, and pasteurised as well, and taken from donors who have a squeaky clean bill of health - no alcohol, no smokers, no one using meds. Deffo no HIV.

HIV is really the only disease that can be passed on via donated breastmilk. There are theoretical risks of some forms of Hepatitis but as far as I know no documented cases.

But none of this would apply to milk from a milk bank, as they have stringent checks.

You can check this out yourself by going to
www.ukamb.org/

WorzselMummage · 02/04/2009 15:03

Dd had donated breastmilk when she was in scbu and i always wondered about the immunity thing. She was a very healthy baby and still at 4.3 has only ever had one course of antibiotics, i often wonder if her having so many womens milk means she is super immune.

I think sharing Bm is FAB !

Marthasmama · 02/04/2009 15:53

I was going to donate mine because I had so much, but alas, as I have had a blood transfusion, I am banned.

sachertorte · 02/04/2009 16:13

Hi Tiktok, the reason I´m not reassured is because the mother whose milk it was delivered a few days earlier than me and was expressing COPIOUS amounts of milk. Also the midwives specifically asked if I was ok with it and said some women did not want this. In the muddle of post-birth and not even understanding the language properly, my guess is this milk was not tested as it was not officially from a milk bank..

So the OP seems to be in the same situation, whether to accept "untested" milk...

tiktok · 02/04/2009 16:34

Not understanding, sachertorte....was this a mother in the hospital, donating it direct to you, with no 'middle man' of the milk bank or collecting process?

It's unorthodox, I grant you, if this is the case, but in practical terms the risks must be tiny - her HIV status would be known to the maternity services anyway (I think....). My understanding is that HIV testing is routine as part of the normal blood testing in pregnancy, but your PCT would be able to confirm that for you.

I do think this should have been spelled out to you at the time - you can't be expected to think of the questions that would need asking.

tiktok · 02/04/2009 16:34

Oh, are you not in the UK, sachertorte?

sachertorte · 02/04/2009 16:43

no, not in the UK.. and with language problem at the time and given this was not really the moment for clear thinking, I´m sure in retrospect that no checks were made. When I asked what the problem with donated milk might be, I only understood that some cultures did not accept donated milk. I agree the risks are tiny, and the woman would definitely have had an HIV check during pregnancy. It was done automatically with other tests, no consent required.

tiktok · 02/04/2009 16:59

If mothers are routinely tested for HIV, if this woman was not using medications or street drugs, was not a smoker or a heavy drinker, and was reasonably clean and washed her hands properly....then I can't think there would be any health issue for your baby, really and truly. Fresh milk is always 'better' in terms of available 'live' nutrients than the milk bank milk which is pasteurised ie heat treated.

So all in all, I think your baby and you had a good deal

sachertorte · 02/04/2009 18:03

Thanks Tiktok, I do know rationally that the risks are very small, especially with a woman at a time of life who is unlikely to be particularly promiscuous, but I don´t think it was good practice, looking back.

Original poster

chefswife · 03/04/2009 05:29

these responses are great. if she mentions it again, i may take her up on her offer just so i can get a bit of a reprieve from DD... i love her but on-demand feeding is, well, demanding. plus i need to get back to work soon, (i work from home, as my studio is here, so not too bad if i 'need' to feed her) so i thought perhaps i could top up with friends milk, now that i've been thinking about it. i know she is very healthy.

did anyone see the clip of salma hayek feeding the child in Sierra Leon.

i know this is a far cry from the initial discussion here but, ya, if we are comfortable with it, why not share milk.

OP posts:

Original poster

chefswife · 03/04/2009 05:31

not that 'i could top her up on friend's milk' but a sitter as i don't produce enough to express.

OP posts:

Original poster

chefswife · 03/04/2009 05:31

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6htxMJ4cfQs

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