How do you decide to stop bfing?

[kayjayel]

I'm ambivalent at best about bfing. DD is 9 mths and I just don't like it. She's so wriggly and pinchy and now there are teeth and I just spend the whole feed in defensive mode to prevent injury. But its fairly easy, she still wakes at night for feeds, its useful if she's ill, and all that. I'm feeling its time to stop (I stopped gradually between 9-11 mths with DS), but I feel terribly guilty.

I feel I should make it at least to 1 yr. And I'm proud of getting this far (its not been that easy - bottle refuser, frequent feeder, early on pain). I'm worried I'll regret stopping.

So I just wanted to hear about how everyone else made their decisions - did you choose, or have a set number of mths/yrs, or was it down to work etc.? And has anyone decided to stop even though it was easy/working and then regretted it?

There's no need to give up completely. I used to give a full bottle of formula for the last feed of the day which meant a full night's sleep for both of us. Why don't you keep bfing for the bits you do enjoy and find substitutes for the rest of the time?

hey there
can't believe you didn't get more responses.

i fed bf my first son till about 18 months. i had introduced one formula feed early on but continued breastfeeding all other feeds. i really enjoyed bf but was ready to stop. i let him call the shots and my 'approach' was to give him bottles whenever he wanted and decrease bf very gradually. worked for us with no tears.

ds2 is 5 months and it's never been quite as nice. he's fed alright but has always pulled away and just not been too keen, iyswim. that aside, i've found it really tough to spend time with ds1 because i've always been bf ds2 and in general i don't get any help with ds2 because he's bf. all those issues together have made me somewhat less enthralled with bf this time round.

at bang on five months, ds2 went on a nursing strike - totally refused the breast and i just said to myself that now was my time so i just did it then. i do feel a bit guilty too, especially as he now has a cold but for all the reasons i mentioned above, it was the right time for us.

i know it's easier said than done, but try not to feel guilty. 9 months is great - you made it through the crucial infancy stage and more.

rambling now - hope this helps and that you get more feedback. i am amazed at how little information there is on how to actually stop breastfeeding!

thanks for replying.

hi mimsy - I completely agree with the difference bf DC2 - it made DS's adjustment to having a sister much harder. I think I would love a nursing strike, it would make the decision for me.
kidowner - I think that is how I will start to stop, just bit by bit (so I can change my mind), but I wondered how to even make the decision to start to stop?

All the RL people I know stopped by either having decided 'I'll do 6 mths', or by having a minimum and then seeing how they felt, or by going back to work. Or by finding it too hard early on. So i just wondered what stories people have about their stopping choices?

Agree with you both about being more difficult with DC2, really hard to sit back and enjoy BF as feel I've so much to do with older DD and she feels neglected. With DD I decided to BF for 6 months then stop to get my periods back as we wanted to try for another baby very soon, I BF for 7 months in the end. With DS, who will be our last DC I thought I'd go for longer but not enjoying it as much at all so am aiming for 6 months again. I won't feel guilty as I'm trying to do what is best for the whole family and I think 6 months is a really good start, although I really admire those who are able to continue.

Although having said that I've just read my post and realised that I've only got 6 weeks to go and am shocked to find that I feel very sad, so might continue giving one feed a day for longer.

I wanted to continue bf until dd was 2. We had a really shaky start and I very nearly gave up in the early weeks, but now it's going well, (she's 11 months now) but I would really like a little more freedom as she still wants to feed very frequently. I am going back to work soon too. She won't take other drinks though, so I feel a bit stuck into providing all her liquid and it's getting me down a bit.

In an ideal world I'd love to cut it right down now, but continue with maybe 3 feeds a day until she's 2 (with 2 feeds a day on work days and a cup of milk substituting the other feed then). But this isn't looking likely unless I want to use harsh methods which I don't. So I feel I'm stuck into being a milk machine for the near future!

Sorry, this doesn't really help you. Other than answering the original q I suppose! I do think I'd regret it if I weaned her completely now even though I really would like to cut it down.

I bf dd for 11 mnths, then fell pregnant with ds, so easy decision to stop, just the thought of breastfeeding whilst pregnant made me tired!

I stopped bf ds at 6 months, he was a slow feeder, on there for hours and with my dd still so young to run after as well I was finding it hard to stop her from climbing on tables etc whilst ds was stuck to my breast. So that's why I decided to stop. Do regret it a little bit, he constantly has coughs and colds and I'm forever wondering if it's linked, probably not but think we're designed to feel guilty about these things.

Wow, I am impressed by people having babies so close together! On balance does it work okay? Or is it just hellishly hard?

goingnowhere - I know what you mean about being stuck - the 'decision' to stop isn't entirely up to us! And it does help - I think I need to spend a while thinking about stopping before I decide and hear about stopping choices.

hmmsleep, I think I will feel guilty whatever I do, you're right. How did you stop? Did you go to cup/bottles easily enough? and did you go to cows milk for your Dd?

Yes, straight to cows milk with dd, she was nearly 12 months so figured it'd be OK, she'd always refused a bottle so went straight to cup. It was really easy to stop, I think maybe the pregnancy was effecting my supply as she seemed quite eager to take from the cup and I never felt engorged.

Harder with ds, had given him one bottle of expressed milk a day from 6 weeks to make sure he continued to accept a bottle, didn't want same problem I'd had with dd. So although he was fine switching to bottle I had to cut down more slowly to stop getting engorged, all in all was pretty easy though, well, physically easy, not quite so easy emotionally!