hard to settle, 9 days old, wind I think?!?

[LittleBok]

I wonder if anyone else has some stories that may be able to help me. My baby boy is 9 days old and finds it very hard to settle, mainly in the evening... he is being fed half breast milk which is expressed and topped up with Atamil. I had breast surgery so unable to do it myself. He gets himself in such a state, mainly when on the changing table, but won't settle down in a moses basket after evening feeds. I am winding him during and after each feed and already using a dummy and Infacol, both of which have helped I think. Just wondered if any others had gone through this as sometimes the piercing cry and red face is too much to bare and I cry myself!!

So sorry to hear you are both upset. First of all, all my babies hated the moses basket. So, we used to co sleep, both of us happy then and baby could latch on without me having to get up! Many babies want to stay close to mum and don't like lying down,(or anyone warm and cuddly)so can you borrow a baby sling or baby pouch? They are great and leave you hands free. One baby was too noisy to sleep with me, so put her in car seat in kitchen (they like the white noise from fridges)and being more upright. As for the feeding, well done for expressing, I did combination feeding for a year, sorry you are not being able to breast feed yourself. Is there any way of letting baby use your nipple just as a dummy after feeding? My babies (and me)got enormous pleasure from bfeeding and it always instantly settled them no matter what. Good luck

You are not alone!! Most new babies take at least 2-3 weeks to settle down. don't forget they have been all snuggy in you for 9 months and now all their surroundings are new and unfamiliar.
I personally wouldn't use a sling as the baby can't stay their all night and eventually you want your baby to settle on their own. Have you tried wrapping baby in a really snuggy blanket? Some babies especially breastfed like to cluster feed (feed constantly at night) Don't forget tummies are tiny so they get hungry quickly!

I would say things will change very quickly with a new baby and you might find very soon he settles in the evening but then is unsettled through the night!!
Having a new baby is hard and tiring and trying to express and then feed is a thousand times harder! Have you tried a breastfeeding support group in your local area? They might be able to give you advice on breast/bottle feeding.
My ds2 had colic for the first 6 weeks and it is horrendous. We tried everything and nothing seemed to work. Make sure you're not drinking coffee! I noticed a big change when I stopped!
I would also speak to your midwife/health visitor for support!
Just remember it doesn't last for ever (even though it feels like it will!) good luck I'm sure you're doing a fantasic job so far!!

LittleBok, your baby is behaving normally and it's understandable when you think only 10 days ago he was inside you...a baby who settles fine skin to skin, or being held, or cuddled, and just resists being put down in a basket does not have colic or wind

Does the breast surgery you have had mean you can give no 'direct' breastfeeds at all? Even if you feel they are not productive? Would he latch on to you given the opportunity? Have you had a second opinion about whether full direct breastfeeding would be possible for you? Not sure why you are giving formula - surgery doesn't necessarily impact on supply (though it can do). Hope mumsnet can help.

Thank you for these messages of support and advice, the reason I thought it was colic is that when he sleeps or feeds he is fine, but anything in between proves to be so uncomfortable for him, clenched fists, knees drawn up and bright red face and cries like its the end of the world. I assume he has such a bad tummy as lying down would hurt, he is fine when laying on my chest or being cuddled, I just thought there would be at least 15mins in the 24 hour day when he would just sit and be relaxed and not so unhappy. I know newborns hate being undressed so assume that is why he screams blue murder when we change him!

As for the breastfeeding, the reduction I had cut too many nerves into the nipple so I express only 1-2oz and this isn't enough for him so it was easier to express the little I could every 3 hours and top up with formula, the midwife came yesterday and said he is back to birth weight so he is feeding well.

I am aware that the first 2-3 weeks is hard for us all, roll on week 4!!

LittleBok, your expectations are very high - very few newborns are capable of sitting relaxed and happy in the way you describe. They need the reassurance and comfort of being held when they are awake.
If he is fine when lying on your chest or being cuddled, then it really is not colic

I am still no sure why you cannot breastfeed direct - expressing is not a good indication of the amount of milk you produce or the amount of milk the baby would get.

Have you seen www.bfar.org ?