BF interfering with DDs diet

[chickenmama]

I've seen my HV a couple of times because of my dds very fussy eating. She was meant to look at reward charts and food diary today but went on and on about BF being a big problem, and I really should stop.

My dd is 2.9 yrs and I have followed her cues with BFing - she's now down to one feed a day, at bedtime, it helps her settle and I guess is part of the routine.

HV was saying that she needs to learn to chew not suckle, that it causes speech problems, and that she'll get singled out when she starts nursery. This is so far from the issue I went about, I have no concerns about her ability to chew and eat, and she's very grown up with her language abilities, I just wanted some tips on how to increase the range of foods she eats.

I'm really annoyed with what she said. She also told me that I need to let dd grow up and not keep her a baby, asking if I was doing it just for me. She even asked if I was Eastern European and in British culture it's not the norm (I'm as British as they come!) which I thought was a bit out of order.

I'm going to see another HV tomorrow as I want another opinion. I don't want to stop BFing if dd doesn't want to and I find it hard to believe it's the reason she doesn't eat meat or veggies - one reason I'm happy to continue is I hope it's giving her some of the goodness she might be missing out on while she's a picky eater.

Any thoughts?

Tell her to fuck off.
Oh and I'm a salt and she's talking throguh her arse about speech.
Do what you want.

Your DD sounds like she is just a fussy toddler which is very common. My DS is very fussy (he's 3.0) and I breastfed him until he was 13 months. I would think her fussyness is to do with being a toddler and has nothing to do with breastfeeding. I always thought the advice with fussy toddlers was just to let them be fussy until they grow out of it (but I coudl be wrong!)

Your health visitor sounds like she has some underlying issues of her own. You only breast feed once a day, so no way would that affect how your child feeds. My blood is boiling!

I came out of the clinic yesterday feeling as though I was a bad parent for letting her feed so long. I really believe I'm doing the best for her, letting her self wean, but HV made me feel so guilty. I'm so glad others agree with what I'm doing and that the HV was talking rubbish.

Leonie - does your 5 yr old have issues with the other kids picking on her for BFing? I can't imagine this would even come up between kids (my dd never mentions her booboo apart from bedtime) and really felt it was her way of trying to blackmail or guilt trip me into stopping.

i am still bf my 3yo and he east like a normal ie fussy toddler. so do lots of kids who are formula fed. no one in his nursery knows or cares

his brother had very unclear speech at 3 ( due to ENT and adenoids) and he didnt get picked on. though he did get a bit frustrated and physical but so do lots of little boys that age

MillBill - my blood was boiling too, I was so pissed off when I left there. I know BFing doesn't affect her appetite as there have been plenty of times I've put her to bed and after her feed she tells me she's hungry and gets a banana. Not that she listened when I tried to explain this to her. I honestly don't think I'll be going back there, and I feel bad for all the other mums she's spouting her crap to

this sort of thing is why I am putting off mentioning my DS's (he's 2) fussy eating to my HV.
As it goes, he's got better recently and eats fine at nursery so I'm less stressed about it, but I feel that as soon as I say anything her advice will be to stop. Obviously if you try that and it doesn't help you can't go back!

have you posted here on mumsnet about your childs fussy eating? I really recommend that you do - there is a wealth of knowledge here, far more than most HV .

have you searched the archives? As other posters have said, this is such a common problem, there will plenty advice . i mean the problem of your child's eating, although there are also lots of threads about the problem of uninformed but opinionated health visitors

BTW my 3yo feeds far more often than yours. i just don't tell anyone

There is no way that one feed a day is going to be a problem. Maybe if she was having 5 or 6 feeds a day and therefore getting enough calories to be able to ignore food. Maybe.

You need to complain about this though - don't let her continue to undermine other mothers

moondog - isn't it kids that have dummies in their mouths constantly that could have their speech affected? As they're not getting the oppotunities to talk as much as they should? Not the fact she BFs once a day and occasionally sucks her thumb when she's tired, hungry or thirsty. My dd had 40 words at a yr and speaks so well now, I couldn't understand why she mentioned that. It's like she was talking about a much younger or completely different child!

CMOT - I was wondering that. I'm hoping talking to another HV will help, but who should I complain to?

Kristina - I have posted about her fussy eating on here

Chicken, she's talking shite, pure and simple.Actually there's not even any evidence to sdhow that dummies affect speech and language.She's just making it up as she goes along. Very professional.
Find out who her boss is and then who her boss is and write to them.