to express or not to express??

[breaghsmum]

quick explanation, i want OH to feel involved with new baby (not born yet) ive heard differing advice about expressing, that i should wait untill bfing is established circa 4-6 weeks, that i should only wait till milk comes in circa day 3, and that if i express it will affect my supply. now my problem is, OH is in the navy, im due 21st may and he has to leave again on 4th june, so realistically he could have as little as a few days with baby before leaving. my mum says i should express so he can give me a break in the evenings, however, once he is gone, i will be giving the feed anyway and if its going to affect my supply, will i still have to give that feed from a bottle because i started expressing initially. its all very confusing. any advice?

Hopefully the gurus will be along but in the meantime have a think about the many other ways your OH can give you some time off (which you will need and deserve). He can bath the baby or take the baby into the bath with him, take him/her out in the pram, wear him/her in a sling, change nappies and make goo-goo faces/noises (if he is that kind of guy) The very little ones sometimes like lying on their Dad's chest sleeping while Dad reads the paper. They like the warmth and the heartbeat and there are no booby bumps in the way. He does not have to feed the baby to be close to the baby, unless that is what you want/need him to do. Expressing is a hassle for lots of new mothers, others find it a doddle. You should not express because someone else wants you to, only if it suits you. I think you will find that after a few weeks, your breastfed baby will probably only want milk directly from you if you are there and will only consider a bottle of EBM if you are not around anyway. Your mum sounds like she wants the best for you but I'm not sure her information on breastfeeding is quite right. Anyway, hope others who know more than me will advise on supply stuff. Good luck with teh birth!!

Hi breaghsmum,

Am certainly no expert regarding expressing and supply. Am sure that someone far more knowledgeable than me will help you with that. However if you want your OH to feel fully involved with the baby, there are so many ways of achieving that. Bathtimes, nappy changes, settling the baby after a feed, (that can be really helpful to you if you are exhausted; allows you to have a bit more rest and gives OH some special time with the babe), carrying the baby in a sling etc. Expressing and giving a bottle might be the more stressful and not necessarily the most satisfying option.

Good luck with it all. It is so exciting!

x-posts with giveusabreak!

Can understand your concerns, breaghsmum, but believe it: being involved and bonding do not depend on feeding. Bonding happens because of the quality of the interaction, not the type of interaction. giveusabreak has provided a great list of things a dad (or anyone else) can do, and she's dead right about the hassle (potential) of it....you will have enough to do, getting bf going, getting to know your new little one, resting and recuperating. YOur DH's relationship with his baby will happen without you adding expressing to that list

thanks for all advice, he is definitely the sort to do all that, he cant wait to be the hands on dad, (we were separated when ds was born so he didnt get the same opportunities) i just sense that feeding is important to him, he was 1st to mention breast pumps and bottles when we were composing our list of baby essentials. however, the baby's health and comfort are whats most important to me, and i guess if i give him enough to do during the day, he might be glad to hand baby back for a feed in the evening. expressing isnt a high priority for me, but i dont want OH to feel as if he is missing something especially as he will be leaving so soon after birth.