help! first time mum, 9 day old DS latching on & expressing milk questions

[RunJHC]

MNetters I need your help! DS was born 9 days ago in wonderful home birth, weight 6lb 6oz, so he's now a little smaller. Since then things have been getting harder on the feeding front.

At first I had no milk at all for 2 days, then just small amount of colostrum. DS couldn't latch on at all - flat nipples and Midwives gave us donor breast milk and I started expressing using electric pump (which is working well) and DH and I have been spoon feeding him.

I finally managed to get him latched on 3 days ago, and have managed it most feeds since then, resorting to spoon feeding when I can't get him on properly.

It's really starting to get me down - midwife has told us to feed him every 2 hours so it's like a constant battle and I'm getting less and less sleep.

So please can you help with 2 dilemmas:

1. DS sometimes goes straight on boob no problems and then other times gets really agitated, head bobs around, like he's fighting against it, and when he does latch on he takes himself off. And of course then he's more tired and hungry, so more agitated. Any ideas?
2. When he's exhausted himself trying to latch and hasn't managed it, we're still spoon feeding expressed milk. But he's eating more and more and the spoon takes ages. Would it be really damaging to give him a bottle instead of the spoon so we can at least feed him more of the expressed milk? I know that might not help the latching on but we need to build up his strength as well.

Thanks...

Hi, Run - hope to offer some help. It's not clear from your post exactly what's happening here. How much does he weigh now? You really need an up to date accurate weight. What are his poos like?

The fact he is latching on most times now is good news. Have you tried biological nurturing positions and self-attachment? Is he staying close to you so you can respond to every feeding cue quickly and easily?

My feeling would be that giving the bottle with ebm in it would not be a terrible thing. There is no real evidence spoon feeding is any less 'threatening' to breastfeeding than using a bottle, and the bottle has the advantage of getting a reasonable volume of milk down the baby efficiently. But not everyone agrees with me and some people would say to avoid bottles at all costs - in a baby that is already latching ok, though, I really don't think it is important.

I had problems feeding and expressed most feeds but when trying to learn (both dd and me) how to feed midwife told me to give a small bottle feed first so that baby isn't too hungry and means that baby is also more relaxed. I don't know what the official advice is but it worked for me and dd

Run I had a not dissimilar experience, problems latching and weight lostt. We used a tiny cup that came with my Medela pump, it worked very well.

That is great news that DS is latching mostly - something that used to work for me was to give him a little of the expressed milk and then try to latch him if he was fussing, getting upset and worn out etc. You will get there.

thanks tiktok. he's 5lb 14oz now - MW weighed him today and he's started gaining weight since last weighing 2 days ago. pooing a lot, browny/green stools. will look up biological nuturing positions. just about to try next feed wish me luck...

ok last feed didn't go well. couldn't get him latched on at all BUT did give him bottle of EBM and he took it well and drank loads so at least we are both (DS and me!) less stressed now. DS soundly asleep. thanks for the advice - will keep persevering...

Run - how's it going?

hi - latest feed managed to get him latched on a few times but then he kept getting agitated and pushing himself off. so only getting a few sucks each time. tried that for about half an hour then resorted to bottle of EBM again. oh dear - am just hoping he will get better at latch once he's bigger and stronger.

alice/alibaba - how long did it take yours to get the hang of it in the end?

I think about 3 weeks before he was latching at every feed, but longer before I really felt confident about it.

I would really recommend you calling one of the BF helplines - NCT, La Leche etc and seeing whether you can get some face to face help. My hospital had a clinic you could attend for a month after your baby was born which is what I did.
I am no expert but it sounds as if your milk is perhaps not letting down very quickly and therefore your ds is getting frustrated. This could be helped by getting your latch checked.

I went to see a BF counsellor 6 times up until DS was a month old to get my problems fixed - can't recommend one enough.

hi run - my DS is four weeks now, was born 2 weeks early. Have been going thru exactly the same thing as you. Alibaba's coment about let down time is exactly what was happening with me, it's only now starting to be quick enough for him. Nipple shields were a godsend to deal with his latch - instant results, from the first time we used them. And they don't interfere with your let down, so might be worth a try. Nuk are the best ones i've found, very thin and flexible, and small.

thanks kerrywoman - he's managing to latch every time now with nipple shields which is great and definite progress. i've been using the avent ones but will check out nuk ones as well. the midwife came this afternoon and didn't seem too concerned about the shields but said that his weight gain might be slower with the shields as he doesn't get as much hind milk. has that been your experience? hope week 4 is going well!