Questions about breastfeeding

[littleduck]

I'm expecting my first baby next month and just wondered if I could draw on the benefit of everyone's experience with a few questions I have about breastfeeding. I want to breastfeed as I know it's the best for my baby but have a few concerns.

I have big boobs at the best of times and now I'm pregnant I've gone up to an H cup! I have heard that big boobs can make breastfeeding difficult, which a NCT breastfeeding counsellor confirmed when I went to a breastfeeding workshop last week - has anyone else heard this or had this experience? Any hints for success?

I have to admit I am very very shy about my boobs. I really applaud women who feel confident enough to feed in public without giving two hoots whether they are being discreet or not but unfortunately I'm just not one of them! If I need to feed my baby when I am out and about I really want to be able to do it discreetly as the thought of having my boobs exposed in public terrifies me. Does anyone have any ideas for how I could do this? I have to say at the moment the thought of breastfeeding in front of anyone apart from DP and maybe my mum feels very uncomfortable but I will just have to get over it I suppose.

I also wanted to know whether breastfeeding is painful to start with, even if the latch and position are correct, whilst your nipples get used to it - there seem to be contrasting views on this. What do people think? It would really help me to know what to expect.

Your thoughts or suggestions would be really appreciated.

Hi littlduck - I also have a fairly large bosom (currently 32J) and do understand your concerns. However, I managed to feed my first child successfully, after a slightly bumpy start (which had nothing to do with my cup size!). I'm currently bf my 2nd and she took to it straight away.

Things that I have learnt - I did have to support my boob with my hand in the early weeks, meaning that both hands were occupied. As for out and about, I think with DS (1st) it was about 6 weeks before I plucked up the courage to bf in public, but DD was out socialising at 10 days old, so... I use normal tops with a vest top underneath, pull up the top and pull down the vest for minimum flashing. What also helped was the fact that I have never had a negative response (and some really nice positive ones) and also that most people either don't know what you're doing, or don't care!

MN is great source of advice - hope all goes well for you

hi littleduck

i'm afraid i can't answer the size question but i'm sure some more busty mnetters will be along soon.

as far as feeding discreetly, my SIL gave me a great tip, which is to wear a vest top and a t-shirt (even better if the same colour - new look do £3 vests i find perfect as they have elastic straps), then you can hoik the vest down under your boob and your t-shirt up, meaning you don't reveal any flesh at all. i'm personally more bothered about people seeing my stretchmarked belly than my nipples.

also, a scarf, pashmina or muslin if you're not the scarf-wearing type (i'm not!) can be draped over your shoulder and shelter you. honestly, once you've got the hang of it, you can be very discreet. i've had lots of people come over to admire the baby or ask for cuddles, not realising i'm feeding.

another good option might be a ring sling, you can bf in them and the tail of the sling covers everything

oops x-posted!

Pretty much the same story as rhinestonecowgirl here! I'm a 32G and had no problems with dd who's now 2 and have been bf ds for 3 weeks with no problems again.

They both latched on within about an hour of birth and had a good long feed and never looked back. I fed dd til she was 18 months.

I also use the vest top down, top up scenario - not only does it cover your boobs it covers your middle which I didn't want on show!! I practiced at home before venturing out in public. Just do it as if you were out and make sure everything's covered up - try in front of a mirror and you'll see that noone will see anything. I also never had any negative comments and fed all over the place.

I have to say that both times I have found it a little painful to start with. I still wince a bit when ds latches on sometimes but that only lasted a few weeks and is just for, maybe up to a minute at the beginning of a feed - feels like a vice on your boob! But manageable, just grit your teeth.

I find lying down to feed really easy because of having big boobs - I just lay next to baby and it was all in the right place.

I think you're doing the right thing by getting advice before you start and you know where to come when you've got any questions once baby arrives. The only thing you can do is give it a try and see how it goes. I found it easy and hope you do to.

Good Luck!

With the size issue, you may find you need to support your breast while feeding. I found it easier to do this with a rolled up muslin so both my hands free.

As for out and about feeding, TBH I expected to find this incredibly embarrassing but when it came to it I discovered I wasn't that bothered. You can use a muslin draped over your shoulder to help cover your breast - I also found that T-shirts under wrap-style cardigans were quite good as I could pull the T-shirt up and use the cardigan to cover the top and side. Lots of MNers swear by a vest under a T-shirt, pulling the vest down and the T-shirt up so you're covered above and below, although you need to be a bit careful with large breasts as constricting the ducts (i.e. if the vest is tight once pulled down) can lead to blocked ducts. Actually, looking back, I was more embarrassed about lifting a top and exposing my wrinkled post-pregnancy belly than people seeing my breasts!

It might help to practise feeding discreetly at home (with DP to give feedback and reassurance on what's visible!) before you need to try it out and about.

Good luck and do phone the NCT if you run into trouble, I had a horrible horrible time feeding DD (because she was tongue-tied, I'm not trying to scare you!) at first but am so glad I stuck with it. The NCT helpline was invaluable to me and I ended up feeding DD until she was 13mths - I would have carried on but I got pregnant again and my milk disappeared.

hi there

I'm not massive just a F and had no trouble.

I did always need to hold my breast with my hand to feed, I suppose maybe the nipple is lower than on a smaller woman. I never got the hang of "hands free".

I was also not keen on BF in public and though I do think it is wonderful that people do it just wasn't for me. I did it about twice and really didn't like it! Hopefully you will be different. TBH I am lucky that my local shops are only a 5 min walk from home and so I tried to time it and if she got hungry i would just nip back. We also have 2 John Lewis in driving distance and they usually have lovely feeding rooms (ie not a toilet) and so I went there if I fancied a trip out! I am sure that you will be OK though.

Re the pain thing I was very lucky that I had no latch problems etc but there was still pain on let-down for the first few weeks (ie when the milk starts flowing) but luckily I already knew about it so it didn't put me off.

Is a really good idea to read a BF book so you know what to expect - and of course everyone on here is v helpful as well.

Good luck!

agree with the vest under tshirt combo and have used a muslin quite effectively. I also found i needed to support my boob underneath in the ealry days to help baby get latched, especially if particularly engorged. I'm an H cup.

re the soreness, i've always had a bit of pain, but it has been down to the latch being minutely wrong, and sorts itself out after a week or so. it can be toe curlingly sore on the initial latching on, but should settle once feeding gets going. if it doesn't make sure you take the baby off and relatch, even though the thought of that is making you cringe. it is worth it to make sure they don't get any bad habits early on. Squeezing DH's hand when i was getting the baby latched really helped me through that phase.

re the confidence thing; it does come with time, although what i found helped me initially was just keeping my eye on the baby and not looking up....that way i couldn't see oif anyone was looking so it didn't bother me iyswim. as i became more adept at it and started looking around, i quickly realised that no one was paying the slightest bit of attention to me and my confidence grew.

mn is great for supoport, but please don't hesitate to call the nct, lll etc if you are struggling; they really do want to help

the LLL book "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" is a good book to read.

and Kellymom should be added to your favourites

Hi littleduck, just wanted to add my thoughts.

You can use any top + vest combo or buy proper "nursing/breastfeeding tops" which have a section you pull up and one you pull down to expose the barest minimum - and the baby's head covers the rest. If you were wearing a cardigan, scarf or used a muslin you could use that to avoid flashing at the very beginning or end of a feed (when you are putting baby on/taking off). In fact I have never found a need for this as I only pull apart loosely so they still cover everything and then move the material at the very last second when DS is already in position, so nothing on show at all. But I think this has come with experience, getting more used to putting him on quickly.

Lots of shopping centres and places like stately homes etc (Sorry that was a rubbish example! I just mean places you might go for a day out.) will have feeding rooms or mother and baby rooms which you can feed in if you want that extra privacy. Most have a curtained off area with chairs. In pubs, cafes, etc, you can very often find a quiet corner which is out of the way. If toilets are clean you can feed in there too, but most people wouldn't want to.

In my experience, yes, it does hurt to begin with as your nipples get used to the sensation. See if you can get a tube of Lansinoh on prescription (it's expensive but worth it!) and on the first or second day (when you are rested) apply a little to each nipple directly after a feed. It helps also if you can let them air-dry (but you should have curtains if you are in hospital anyway.) My midwife told me to count 10 baby swallows and by the 10th one the pain should be gone. For me it was about the 12th but it definitely helped to count. If it's carrying on for much longer, then there may be latch issues. I stopped having to use the Lansinoh after the first 2 weeks but others use it for longer.

Good luck!

I am similarly blessed in the nork region, and I am breastfeeding a toddler aged 2 years and 4 months, and am also expecting a baby next month.

I did find it hard to feed in the beginning, and I distinctly remember expressing enough milk to allow me to bottlefeed DS when he was 4 weeks old in a cafe. I couldn't bring myself to feed in public. However, once I'd started on the baby and toddler group circuit, I soon realised that actually it is pretty normal to feed your child in public, and these groups are a safe environment in which to build confidence. I also noticed that women come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and actually the baby's head is pretty effective in hiding most things.

I first fed in public in M&S, after hiding away in the grotty "feeding room." It was essentially a public loo with a comfy hair and it was horrid. So I plucked up the courage to feed in the cafe there. It was absolutely fine, and from that moment on I fed pretty much everywhere, and in all this time I have never experienced anything but positive comments from people.

It did take time to build up the confidence though, not just in getting my norks out discreetly, but in having the confidence to feed DS correctly. Once you've got the latch etc sorted you'll be fine. People aren't that bothered to be honest, and if your norks are anything like mine, being big is a bonus because your nipples fairly accessible to baby without having to reveal much tummy. A strategically placed muslin or pashmina usually does the trick, but so does placing your chair with your back to the room. Most cafes have dark corners, too!

Just take the time to build your confidence in safe places like baby groups.

It did hurt to begin with, but in time that passed too. It is worth getting the hang of it, because it is so much less hassle to cart your norks around that faffing with sterile bottles, warming bottles and keep expressed milk safe.

The rugby ball hold was one I found pretty good, see if you can find an explanation somewhere on it. Lying down also good when baby gets a bit bigger!

I just want to add - do you know anyone else who's breastfeeding? I have a friend whose toddler is 5 months younger than mine and when she first had her ds I was really used to feeding in public but she was really nervous so we met up in a coffee shop (she actually came with a bottle of expressed milk which I told her to put away!!) and I showed her how to do the top/vest thing and fed dd at the same time. If you can enlist someone to feed in public with you it might give you a bit more confidence.

littleduck, i can't help on the big boobs front sadly as i've never done much above a d cup

wrt to feeding in public though, i don't hugely like doing it and try to be as discreet as possible (for my sake, not anyone elses). with dd i was too shy to ever feed in public and it is possible to restrict yourself to feeding rooms and changing rooms.... but it's tedious, mentally exhausting hunting for them with screaming baby in tow and tbh pointless as i soon learned with ds1 that very few people even notice when you're feeding. i try and have 2 tops on or zip up top over my top so that the layers provide a bit of screening and even now i feed in public happily enough still prefer to sit somewhere i'm not quite so conspicuous for those times baby lets go with no warning and my boob is waving around while i deal with the baby.

it is very doable though and like i said, once you get practiced at the latching on and off, no one even notices for the most part.

as for the pain.... in my case yes it hurts even when baby is well latched. with dd she was so sucky from the minute she was born she ripped my nipples to shreds... nothing to do with a bad latch, to do with her freakishly strong sucking ability (proof of this was if you put your finger in her mouth she'd actually feel like she was bruising it her suck was so strong!) dummies and lansinoh got me through the first few weeks with her with only mild scaring

with ds1 i'd been feeding til 6 months earlier and my nipple got a little sore but no cuts, just bruised feeling for a few weeks and with ds2 i was feeding til a couple of weeks before and similarly i had very little nipple pain.

with all 3 though i got/get the most horrendous let down pain and occasionally shooting pains when i'm not even feeding... i always call these filling up pains but have no idea what actually causes them. the pain is quite sharp and all the way through my boob and lasts for between 10 seconds and a minute. with dd and ds1 it gradually eased over the first few months and eventually feeding became completely pain free, ds2 is 5 weeks on monday and already i don't get this pain as much, only once a day maybe.

when you're milk first comes in your boobs get engorged and tbh that's quite painful too but does ease within a day or so once baby and boobs agree on quantity.

hope my honesty hasn't put you off, for the record i fed dd for a year, ds1 for 2.5 years (self weaned) and will be doing natural term bf-ing with ds2 as well

tiny boobs so different issues there, BUT re public feeding, I quickly found that compared to dd screaming for a feed, feeding was less embarrassing! Was just so desparate to stop her crying and to stop people looking!

re pain - dds latch was all wrong on one side, so that was really bloody sore, but on the "good" side it still did hurt a bit - Lansinoh cream was a total godsend - expensive but well worth it.

The top/vest combo is good, also if you wear a cardy/zip up top, you can sort of flap one side round the baby's head and your boob.

Good luck!

I used to be rather jealous of someone who went to a baby group with me, who was very well endowed and could just drape her baby over her knees, tuck up the corner of her t-shirt and let him feed while I was killing my back trying to keep DD high enough to reach my modest norks! So maybe there is the odd advantage

But more seriously, on the pain thing - obviously it's very subjective. I had bad advice on latch in the first 36 hours that led to very painful problems (and led me to train as a peer supporter, so even that had a silver lining) so my memory of those first few feeds is a bit hazy, but thinking back, the sensations were certainly very alien, and could be described as pain but not in a sore, major 'ouch' kind of way. Let-down felt like a real squeeze, which was a bit uncomfortable but not painful in a 'make it stop' way. The first few sucks can really pull but again, not in a way that made me fear putting DD to the boob. And personally, the warm, fuzzy buzz of oxytocin charging around my system more than made up for it most of the time.

Well done on getting so organised and starting to get support now!

Hi - I'm a big chested lady too H before baby

I didn't have any problems breast feeding due to my size at all and think its a load of rubbish. With regards to doing it in view of anyone else, I felt the same. Its took a long time for to even do it in front of my mum. But in the end you get used to it and if you really need to you can find ways (muslins are a god send). I didn't find that it hurt at the beginning, athough a couple of growth spurts did a little. There was one time where it was really hurting and I went back to basics and corrected my latch and it was fine, just use lots of cream. Oh and come on here its great for help and tips.

Good luck x

PS have just gone and read all of the posts and it will really help your confidence if you ahve some friends who are also breast feeding x