If you're feeding, what does DP/DH do?

[LuluLulabelle]

My DH has always been very keen to be involved as much as possible. Our DD is 6 weeks old and in the first few weeks he gave her some bottles of formula at night to let me sleep.

We've dropped that now and I am exclusively breast feeding so DH offered to do the bits that come after that - burping and nappy changes.

So at night when DD wakes, I feed her and the DH takes her, burps her, changes her nappy and then puts her back in her moses basket. Some of his colleagues have commented that this is "a bit weird" and that they didn't do anything like that at night.

Is it weird? I do feel a bit mean sometimes, especially when he has work the next day but he offered. Partly so that I don't do it on my own and also because he just adores DD - even at 3am.

So, have you attempted to even out who does what? What does your DP/DH do?

Dh did pretty well what yours does, Lulu. When my second baby was born, the other mums on the ward commented on how confident he seemed. Have to admit even I was impressed when I was finally well enough to do ds's first nappy and realised how tiny his little prem legs looked.

DH did nothing at night - my choice as I slept with DS during the day whereas he had to work. Didn't hear him complaining too much though!
He did help if there was a need to though - like once DS was ill and vomited over himself. I was trying to run him a bath but keep him warm too, so DH came out and cuddled him up and helped from then on.
TBH Ds never needed much other than feeding in the night, I stopped changing his nappy unless dirty quite early on and he's never really needed burping either. He does feed like a maniac though!

In the bad early days, dh used to get up and sit with me in the night while I fed ds and/or pumped. It went on for 6-8 weeks from memory. Sometimes he made his packed lunch at 3am before we all went back to bed, then when ds next fed at 5-6am, once he and I were back asleep, dh would head off to work so that he could come home much earlier and be there to help out/support me. One of the things that kept me going was knowing he was physically and emotionally right there alongside me. Sounds insane now thinking back on it.

With both dcs if they need settling, nappy changing or whatever then he's v willing to help, even at night. In the early days with dc2 he didn't always get up and we took turns a bit more, but then we also had ds who took a lot of work by day and rose at the crack of dawn. Dh has always been great at letting me and baby go back to bed and/or stay in bed in the morning. He has also dealt with any night waking from dc1 whilst I handle dc2's night feeding. Him having a month off work each time helped too.

I have to say, in our house it's teamwork. We both made these children and just because I have the breasts, doesn't mean he doesn't help. I'd much rather he does what he does than wanted me to express for bottles.

We have a rule that when he's around he does everything else and he gives her to me with a clean nappy when she needs feeding (it disturbs her if I change her after a feed so she wants to go back on). It doesn't always work though! He does usually get me a drink when I ask though.

I find that by him getting up to her and passing her to me that neither of us is too disturbed so we sleep better - now though we just cosleep, but that's what we did with Tink.

fleacircus I could have wrote your post

your DH sounds awesome. mine doesn't get up at night anymore as DD (3 months) and i have a good little night routine and she sleeps with us so it is not so disturbing for me anyhow. DD has a bath with DH at night when he gets home from work and sits with her till he goes to bed around 2am. by then she is ready for a little feed before resuming sleeping. he also sits with her most mornings while i exercise and shower. plus he cooks all meals on his days off. i just keep checking in with him that he is ok with his 'job' in regards to DD. (i don't now really what to call it... i know its not a 'job'... anyhow). his colleagues are weird, definitely.

reading a book.

Roll over and continue snoring.

I don't mind tho' because he does the midnight feed so I can sleep from 9- whenever bubs wakes up.

My dh does everything except the feeding bit and has done the same for all 3 babies. He knows I can't sleep in the day now we've got 2 older dcs and I work. He also gets up half an hour earlier than me so he can make sure the dc's have all had breakfast and are ready for school/playgroup before he leaves for work (also makes me a cup of tea every morning which is my best bit!) I do think I am very lucky though!

Not wierd! He sounds like a lovely husband and daddy.

In the early days when dd pooed after each feed, i would change nappy and put to bed after night feeds. There didn't seem much point in us both having to get up. But when she was a bit older and dropped feeds dh shared getting up to settle her if she woke in the night.

He has always done her bath, and when she was very small would do baby massage after her bath to bond with her. He still does her bath every night and puts her to bed.

He also gets up with her in the morning during the week and looks after her while getting ready for work while I have a lie in, but he sleeps in at the weekend.

He loves being involved and dd adores him.

Well DH had an early start and a big drive to work this morning (2 hours) so I didn't bother waking him to do the changes and she actually doesn't need settling a great deal - she's happy to get herself to sleep if she's still awake when I put her down.

Grendle that was exactly how I felt in the first few weeks - BF DD at night was like the loneliest job in the world and I hated it. Having DH to share it really helped me to cope and probably to stick with BF. It is much easier now and I enjoy the time I have feeding her at night so perhaps its time to let him sleep.

He got up this morning, changed her nappy and brought me breakfast in bed while I fed her so I think that perhaps that could become our new set up.

Thanks for the wet nappy tip, Daisymoosteiner I hadn't actually felt one. I will give it a try.