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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Comfort sucking?

14 replies

pookamoo · 11/03/2009 22:28

My problem is lack of sleep.

DD (15 weeks) goes down about 11pm usually, and is normally up for a feed about 1.30am, for half an hour or so.

She is then up again around 3.30. Usually until 5.30, so about 2 hours.

This has been going on for weeks and is not a growth spurt. (That is a whole other topic for a different thread!)

She isn't really hungry during those 2 hours, well she might be to start with, she'll have a feed, drop off to sleep, and then wake up and cry as soon as I put her down. Rinse, repeat etc. I am sure she wants the comfort, because the only way we can seem to settle her to sleep is to feed her (she is BF).

DH tries, but she gets more and more and more wound up. We tried it without me in the room, and she was supersonic with rage. I walked back in, and she was all smiles. Which is what makes me think it is comfort rather than hunger, because she stopped crying when she saw me, rather than when I fed her. However, I can't get her to settle without feeding her. Rocking, singing, patting, shushing, etc, she just winds up instead of down (we had a thread on this last week).

I get hardly any sleep. She has started to sporadically nap during the day (hurrah at last!)

We have tried putting her down earlier, but not to great success. She seems to think she has done all the necessary sleeping by about midnight and that she can stay up the rest of the night!

So, a friend has suggested offering her some water so that she gets the message, but I am reluctant as I know BF babies don't need water. She won't take her dummy any more, although she used to. She'll only take it if I have been BFing her until she is sleepy then I do a "swap" and pop her in the cot.

Any suggestions, wise people?
I just want to sleep for a longer stretch than 45 minutes at a time!

OP posts:

Original poster

pookamoo · 11/03/2009 22:28

Will also post in "sleep"

OP posts:

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/03/2009 22:34

Have you thought about trying co-sleeping for a while?
DS is BF and went through a very unsettled phase of being up for hours in the night. DH went to the spare room for about a week - we were worried about him squashing DS - and I co-slept. It worked really well and it got him into the habit of sleeping for longer at night. He now goes down at about 8:30pm and wakes either once or twice between then and 8am. He is 7.5 months.

Really hope you can find a solution, it's so miserable when they are like this.

Original poster

pookamoo · 11/03/2009 22:36

We've been cosleeping for a couple of weeks now, also with DH in the spare room.
She is a bit better, but actually I think what happens is I am quicker to respond when she stirs. I try to wait and see if she is really awake before picking her up, but after the colicky three months we had to begin with, I really hate to let her get to full crying mode before feeding her back to sleep (or trying to!)

OP posts:

Trinityrhino · 11/03/2009 22:37

sorry but I would just advise co sleeping

very easy to roll over and stick a nipple in

gecko is 25 months now and I'm under no illusion that she wakes every 2 to 3 hours just for comfort

but hey she has only been in te world for 2 years, I can give her that comfort....even if it means that i need to nap with her in the afternoon to manage to last the day

Trinityrhino · 11/03/2009 22:39

dont wait till she is properly awake before feeding (what will that help)

just feed, snuggle and comfort her as soon as she stirs

It helps to give her confidence that you will alwasy be there...so then they start to not need you so much.....cause they are completely secure that when they do need you, you are there

Trinityrhino · 11/03/2009 22:40

and I LOVE your name

Original poster

pookamoo · 11/03/2009 22:44

Thanks Trinity it was how I misheard a pokemon once.
There is a Pook on here too, so I hope she doesn't mind!

I am liking the cosleeping, but I would like to have a bit of actual "sleep" to go with the "co" part! I have travelbags under my eyes, and so does DD. It's mostly "mummy-and-baby-in-the-bed-eating-all-night" rather than cosleeping!

She just flaps about and wakes herself up. She is swaddled but I think her middle name should be Houdini!

OP posts:

mawbroon · 11/03/2009 22:46

Agree completely with TrinityRhino.

Easier to go with the flow. Carry her in a sling during the day if you can, then at least you will be hands free and she might be incined to snooze a bit more.

Napping together in the daytime is a good idea too.

It will pass pookamoo. It doesn't feel like it at the time, but it will get better without you having to do anything drastic.

Original poster

pookamoo · 11/03/2009 22:53

Sling won't work unfortunately!
In line with the Houdini bit, she REFUSES to face inwards. She'll go in the sling facing out, and will stubbornly stay awake even on a 3 hour long walk!

She just doesn't cuddle in, IYSWIM. If she did, I think we would be able to cuddle her to sleep, as she could put her face into our shoulders or chest (we being DH or me) and drop off. No such chance! She just YELLS if you put her facing in, until you turn her round. She's very alert, which means she is constantly stimulated and gets overtired, all of which add up to problems sleeping. However, she's also a little lady who knows her own mind!

I have taken her to a craniosacral therapist before.

The last time I slept for more than two hours was the night of 26th November 2008, at 2.30am when the contractions woke me!

OP posts:

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/03/2009 22:55

Yes don't let her get all awake and yelling - DS has become progressively less clingy and better at being left the quicker I respond to him. He feeds better and is more relaxed when he's half asleep so less windy afterwards as well which I think helps.

We've just had a lovely sleepy feed now

mawbroon · 11/03/2009 22:57

Would she feed in the sling if you could persuade her to turn for long enough to see that it's on offer?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/03/2009 22:59

We had a hammock for DS when he was small which prevented the flapping, we didn't move him to his cot until he was 5 months. The co-sleeping came after that, it was like he needed a little help to get used to sleeping on a flat surface.

Can't recommend the hammock enough, but they are expensive at this stage unless you can get one 2nd hand. Ours is an Amby Nest.

sweetkitty · 11/03/2009 23:01

DD3 is 8 months and needs comfort sucks in the night, she has 3 good meals in the day and BFs so I know it's not hunger. We cosleep and when she wakes she moans and roots around, if she doesn't find my nipple she quickly gets upsets. A few minutes sucking and she lets go and turns away from me again. She is so funny it's as if she wakes and needs Mummy's boob to know I'm there and all is well and she can go back to sleep. Very good survival instinct that one, she would have done well in caveman times.

I agree do not fight it do whatever you can to get the most sleep, cosleeping works for me I can fed whilst half asleep.

I think she is too young for water IMHO. During the day can you feed her lying down and nap with her a bit to allow you to rest?

DitsyMe · 12/03/2009 11:41

We co-sleep and comfort feed but what struck me about your post was the flapping about bit despite being swaddled. Strangely, none have mine have ever tolerated swaddling or blankets of any kind. They flap around to get them off then are much more settled once they are free. It might be worth experimenting with covers / no covers.

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