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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I suddenly and inexplicably hate breastfeeding...can't explain why

39 replies

Haylstones · 10/03/2009 13:11

I don't think this will make much sense but I will try to explain. I bf dd for 18months and loved it the whole way through. I've been feeding ds since birth and have had no problems at all but over the past week or so I haven't enjoyed feeding him-in fact I almost dread it. It's hard to explain but it almost feels like a chore - I even put him to bed the other night without milk because I couldn't face it and gave him a cup of milk yesterday.
Nothing has changed (that I can think of)- he isn't feeding any more than usual (2-3 times a day) or biting etc. The only thing that is different to normal is me having a cold/ viral thing for a while but this has happened many times before without this effect.
Am I just losing the plot? I know I could carry on feeding him for ages yet and genuinely don't want to stop so would really like to try and get over this.
Any advice or reassurances would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
drosophila · 10/03/2009 14:51

I never really enjoyed breast feeding but kept doing it as the guilty i wuld have felt if I quit would have been hard to deal with I bfed dd for 2.5. years and DS for 7/8 monhts.

Reasons why I didn't like breastfeeding:

  • the constant feeling of being in demand and the knock on effect on not being able to go very far
  • the pain which did ease but never went away completly
  • the feeling of being trapped and not being able to leave the child with a carer even if there were an emergency. I remember once DS had to go to hosp and I had to stay home with dd as I was still feeding her and no one else could do that.
  • the leeking breasts and the unattractive bras.
  • the effect on my sex drive. I just didn't feel like a sexual being.

I am pg with no 3 and honestly I am dreading breastfeeding more than the delivery.

On the up side the things that kept me going were the knowledge of the health benifits, the convenience (no washing of bottles) and the times when I did feel an emotional bond (which did happen).

Pannacotta · 10/03/2009 14:55

When I read your thread title, I thought that your DS must be about 1.
When DS1 turned 1 I suddenly hated feeding him. Had never had a problem before.
I just gritted my teeth and a few weeks later everything was back to normal and I fed him till he was 2 or so.
Can't explain the reasons but just thought it might help to know that for us it was a stage which soon passed...

Bubbaluv · 10/03/2009 15:08

Drosphila, Would expressing work for you at all? It alleviated many of the negs you mention for me.

drosophila · 10/03/2009 15:17

Very fussy dd who would not take anything but the breast. DS was better. Both had hight demands and I felt with expressing that I never quite caught up with their feeding demands. I think my breasts were sow to rise o the demand and I was always laying catchup. I can remember expressing for DS and within an hour he needed feeding but breasts were empty and the bottle was meant to be for later. I never worked out how to get out of that cycle.

Bubbaluv · 10/03/2009 15:48

I think it's just like when thier demands increase when they are bfing. You just keep at it and soon enough your milk supply increases to meet the demands. Expressing seems to work much better for some than others though.

noolia · 10/03/2009 17:42

Oooo.
Just clicked on this to offer support and say that my dd has just turned one and I suddenly don't want to feed her either, having previously been very happy with it all. I have decided to stop and it's actually not going too badly - she was only feeding in the night anyway. It just suddenly, in the middle of the night, felt like an 'invasion of my space' and I just couldn't bear the thought of her on my boobs! It felt like 'natures way' of telling me it was fine to stop.

Original poster
Haylstones · 10/03/2009 21:40

Thanks for all the advice. Fwiw, I am not pregnant
I've been giving it a lot of thought and while I can't rationalise my feelings I think I need to listen to them. I'm not going to stop bfing but I am going to take a bit more time out for myself and stop putting excess pressure on myself. The odd cup of milk isn't going to do ds any harm...
I found ds's birth very trauatic and suffered a lot from bad dreams and flashbacks (smells,noises and so on). His birthday stirred up a lot of feelings, which I think might be a factor along with being under the weather and having lots on (just gone back to work etc etc)
Anyway thanks for listening to me mumbling on. I haven't fed ds since this morning as I was working tonight but I am going to have a lovely long snuggly feed with him in the morning

OP posts:
Original poster
Haylstones · 10/03/2009 21:42

And thanks for reassuring me that I'm not alone or a freak!

OP posts:
francagoestohollywood · 11/03/2009 21:09

Hayltones , it does really sound like you are going through a very busy (and tiring!) time. I hope you had a good feed with your ds today.

Drosophila, I totally felt the same way, about "the constant feeling of being in demand and the knock on effect on not being able to go very far". Not that I ever went that far away anyway

Grendle · 11/03/2009 23:13

When I've felt like this, I've either been (a) exhausted, (b) pregnant, (c) ovulating or (d) premenstrual.

It's like everything, there are ups and downs.

What I'm finding with dc2 is that things that with dc1 I attibuted to and linked to bf, with DC2 I'm realising are just facets of their behaviour at certain developmental stages and my emotional reactions to them.

Original poster
Haylstones · 12/03/2009 10:30

Thanks. We've had a few lovely snuggly feeds since Tues,especially the mornings but slipped an extra one in last night as he was upset after not having enough sleep at nursery. It still feels weird when I think about it but the actuall feeding isn't bothering me so much- progress I hope!
I've realised today that I was premenstrual as well as tired and stressed, which might explain it a bit. Onwards and upwards now I hope.
THanks for all the kind words

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 12/03/2009 13:02

"By Grendle on Wed 11-Mar-09 23:13:51
When I've felt like this, I've either been (a) exhausted, (b) pregnant, (c) ovulating or (d) premenstrual."

Grendle you've just described the last 4 years of my life! I don't think there has been more than 5 minutes when I haven't been either a), b), c), or d)!

Grendle · 12/03/2009 14:24

TYV!!

I can think of a few moments, but they've been fleeting. Since having children I have re-evaluated my definition of "exhausted". My pre-children definition of "tired" now covers a particularly well-rested and relaxing day.

MrsHD · 14/03/2009 21:54

Glad to hear you've come to terms with it. I've developed a deep dislike of BF too but in my case it's because it feels like the buck always stops with me. DS will take a bottle of EBM sometimes (he's only 2 1/2 months) and often I feel like asking DH to give him some formula, but I don't as it would seem rather scandalous in our house other than in exceptional circs. I Bf DD for 9 months and did find it incredibly tedious, but then she wouldn't take a bottle. 'Chore' is exactly the word that went through my mind earlier. I can't wait til I can give up BF and feel I've done the right thing by DS, which I guess will be around 9 months again. Til then I just have to get on with it.

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