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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Please help my friend - 6 month old bf baby who likes to snack and fiddle, getting her down

2 replies

standanddeliver · 10/03/2009 11:32

Just been talking to a friend, who's feeling low about bf feeding at the moment. Told her I'd ask you brilliant ladies here at mn towers for a bit of insight. She's a lovely mum but finding it all a bit overwhelming at the moment. Don't let me down mumsnetters - I've raved to her about how brilliant you all are here!

"Well, I'm still breastfeeding and dd is nearly 6 months. I always planned to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months and then wean for up to a year. But dd has always been so rubbish at feeding! In fact part of carrying on was thinking 'it will get better soon'. But still at 6 months she is awful. What happened was at first she was an efficient feeder - only ever for about 10 minutes max apart from last thing in the evening just before bedtime, where she would try to make up for a days snacking but my body couldn't keep up with the sudden demand.

Then as she got older I realised the best way to get her to eat in the daytime was to feed her while she was napping. So I 'dream fed' her all day - basically just before I knew she was due to wake up I'd put her in bed and feed her, and then wake her up afterwards. Well that went great for a couple of months and she fed beautifully in her sleep, but the time came when I realised

I cannot always be at home at those crucial times and needed to teach her how to eat awake! So I've been doing that for the last couple of weeks. But it's just so distressing. She spends the whole time playing (even if I leave her until she's starving as recommended at baby cafe). She kicks and turns her head and plays with my buttons and gives me her hand to kiss. So I try feeding her on her back, which works as she at least doesn't arch her back and try to sit up, and will eat a bit more, but hardly anything. Then of course come the evening she will make up for lost feeds. But my body doesn't catch up so I formula feed now before bed. The problem is the more she only snacks the less my body makes and the more I'm using formula and a bottle instead, which means I'm basically weaning already. And there is a huge part of me that feels so sad that we never really 'got there' with breastfeeding and now it's all over!

Do you think she was just never bothered too much about it and I should just let her have formula instead now or is there a strong case for carrying on regardless? Were any of your children totally distracted & not interested in food much in the daytimes?"

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foxytocin · 10/03/2009 12:01

At 6 months babies are distractible and you can't get them to feed properly anyway. My now 5 mo old only feeds properly if I take her to the bedroom and have it darkened and i lie down with her.

The feeding pattern described is a lot like how it was with my dd1.

Having 2 has taught me that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' or 'better' feeding pattern for a bf baby who is otherwise healthy and thriving. It is our unfamiliarity with breast feeding that make us worry so much about how we do it.

I can't think everything I'd like to say properly at the moment as I am trying to do 2 other things but I hope this helps.

standanddeliver · 10/03/2009 12:09

Thanks foxy - I agree with what you say about there being not 'right or wrong' with breastfeeding with a thriving baby. I have pointed out to her that although her dd's feeding habits are a bit difficult to live with at the moment both of them have been very successful with bf to have got this far. I think this is a clever, happy little baby who enjoys her mum a lot. I think our babies do see our bodies as playgrounds - I know my three and a half year old (weaned last year) would set up permanent camp in my cleavage given half a chance......!

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