Nearly 3 wks in & DH wants us to stop co-sleeping & think about a bottle :-(

[caspercat]

Mainly because DS, who so far has been RELATIVELY easy at nights, seems to have a wind problem from about 4am - 7am ish, which DH puts down to me feeding him lying down in bed (which we agreed we'd try this time so we can all get some kip, as opposed to with DD, who from the start had us up all night). Because DS & i fall asleep while nursing, he doesn't get 'burped' - i was under the impression he wouldn't need it - but when he becomes restless, whingy (like having a staffy pup in bed!!) & does appear uncomfortable at 4ish, DH says it's because his wind has built up through the night. So now he wants me to either feed sitting up at night - which defeats the whole purpose of co-sleeping, will make me horrendously knackered with a toddler to look after & i worry about falling asleep on baby while nursing upright - or start introducing the odd bottle so DH can 'help' me!
Anyone have any experience of this?? Does this sound like a windy build up, or just a restless baby? I think we should just get to bed a bit earlier & deal with it till it passes.......
Any ideas very welcomed, ta xxx

Could well be a windy build up - ds gets like this sometimes too. Sitting up to feed doesn't totally defeat the point of co-sleeping, as it's still easier than actually getting up, but I have a different suggestion for you.
You co-sleep with ds, and make your dh sleep in a spare room/on sofa.

Suggested that, have a spare room, but he says he doesn't want to! Can't win!!!!

My dd suffered with uncomfortable wind at the same time every morning (between 6 and 6:30am) whichever way I fed her and whether she had been burped or not. She would grunt and strain and raise her knees, quite often coming out with a barrage of farts after the performance. I asked my GP about it, and she says it's just because her insides are new and she's getting used to everything working and it would go away on it's own. I was a bit as it sounded like she was really suffering. However, it did go away at around 7 weeks old, all on it's own.

(I also like CantSleepWontSleep's suggestion).

How about you feed the baby, and DH winds him?

DS2 use to have the wind thing from about 3am onward at this age. It improved after a visit to an osteopath.

strangely enough my DS is more unsettled during the day when he is fed semi upright than he is at bight when he just feeds and goes back to sleep. We have a sidecar cot, so only half co-sleeping. He did have a really unsettled start though and liked to be up and fretting for most of the night. It's normal with young babies, and does settle after a few weeks, so I suggest that you stick with things for the minute.

three weeks is a really tough time in terms of growth spurt/unsettledness/windiness/your hormones and things should get better from here on in.

I think your DH needs to be a bit more realistic of what having a tiny baby means and also know that changing to formula, which is harder to digest, could well add to the wind problem rather than solve it. He also needs to realise that it's the best thing for your DS and that his needs, as a parent, come second to that of his DC, and that it isn't for ever.

The sofa is a great place for unsettled windy whingy DHs

Excellent advice and suggestions so far, thanks xx

I find rolling my DS onto my tummy on his tummy (so we are face to face lying down) and rubbing his back can help him fart and lose the wind this way. I can do this without waking up DH and DD and without sitting us up.

Moving to a nightime bottle of formula in this situation is unlikely to make a positive difference. I read a study recenty which found one bottle of formula introduced to a breastfed baby resulted in on average 30 minutes less sleep a night !!!

As Habbibu suggested, your DH could 'help' by doing the winding himself after you breastfeed, if he is serious about helping at night.

My DH finds wax earplugs from Boots give the best noise reduction...maybe worth a try ?

My ds used to do that. I did often wonder if it was wind, but putting him back on the breast calmed him right down, so I guess he was just needing the closeness and comfort.

Would this work with your ds caspercat?

I second those who say that your dh would be able to help by winding the baby.

Your DH is being very, very impatient . Buy him a good book on baby development and make him read it.

your DS is only 3weeks old, it quite normal to be awake through the nights, many mums on here have 4 year olds that sleep less.
Introducing a bottle, could cause more wind because of the way the milk comes out - the baby can gulp down air aswell.
Have you tried feeding your baby lying on your chest? That's how i used to feed my 2nd. when babies are on their tummies the wind seems to be expelled easier. you could try this.
If you are happy the way you are feeding then carry on. I agree that switching to a bottle may make you more tired - imagine the baby having to wait for the bottle to reach the right temperature? And then if this doesn't solve the wind problem, you wont have gained anything.
You are doing so well, and like i said, he is so young and will settle into a pattern soon where it will take less time for him to settle.
keep up the fab work

I co sleep in the nursery... (well DS in cot me in a single bed) that way I can sneak back in with Dh on some nights when he's quiet...I also go to bed early to catch up on sleep... it's not for long!!!

both my kids did the gruffing.
the first time it drove me and dh bonkers.

the secodn child- it made us laugh.
Noether seemd to wake, they jsut gruffed.
quite a specific time of the night too- 5.15am to 7am

he's being a bit of a prat really.
I'm sure it will pass.
but i cannot see how a bottle of formula will help any of it tbh.

If he has wind then a bottle will make it worse i would have thought.

Tell dh to get a reality check - i have nearly 2 yr old who has only just started sleeping all night - he may sleepless nights for quite a while yet whether he has bottle or boob!

Aw, didn't realise that my original post made DH out to be such a twunt . That wasn't my intention & i don't think he is! He realises how lucky he is that he's not really being woken up from 10 - 4ish (tho he has said for me to wake him if i want him to do a nappy change etc), & like loopymumsy said, we want one of us to be not-so-grumpy parent for DD the next day. He really is just concerned that DS is uncomfortable - which he appears to be - & suggested a bottle of EBM (should've mentioned that) so he could help out a little more. I suffered bad PND with DD, & i think he's just trying to think of ways to help to prevent that happening again.
Anyway, will try staying awake while DS nurses tonight (normally only 10 min feeds anyway) and burping him over my knee before letting us both sleep again. Thanks again for ideas xxx

I had a breastfed baby with reflux and wind. We didn't find an easy solution. GP prescribed Gaviscon Infant but I wasn't very happy using it. I co-slept with baby in nursery and let husband have our bed. Eventually we had a double mattress on the nursery floor (so that I was not afraid of her falling out of bed).
I believe in co-sleeping as an aid to breastfeeding - but next time I think I will do a bit less of it. We co-slept for a full year. I went back to work at 6 months and wished for more sleep. I did not seem to allow myself deep sleep with a baby there. I am not sure what advice I would give though - as feeding my baby in the night was more important once I was working in the daytime.
I don't like bottles but want to be complete here: If you will want to introduce a bottle at anytime, it can be more difficult to get them to accept it if you wait until 6 months. At 3 weeks there might still be a chance of caising nipple confusion and ending up unable to establish feeding well. I think I might hold out for 6 weeks then try a bottle of expressed milk for your husband to give. There are many sites stating reasons to avoid formula top ups so I would advise expressed breast milk if you want to offer a bottle.

We didn't co-sleep with either of ours and found we had good quality sleep in between being woken up for feeds, which meant we could both function during the day. Does the baby have to be in the bed with you?

Well this does go away as they get older but I used to wake up enough to rise up and sit up on the bed and do the burping with half asleep baby and then lie back down and latch the baby on and fall asleep again a couple of times a night, would be less hassle than a bottle of anything and maximises the sleep, so baby is not wriggling with discomfort for ages, just sit up burp the baby and lie back down again. Maybe not very helpful but is what I did for my dd and now hardly ever have to burp her at night as she is older.

My DS used to sometimes need burping after feeding and I would pull him towards me and roll onto my back, so that he was lying face down on my tummy. Then I'd rub and pat his back which used to make him fart and sometimes we would fall asleep like this, others he would go back next to me. HTH

Have similar problem with DS2 (now 2 weeks old). I found using Infacol works quite well as you can do doses in the daytime and it seems to have a preventative effect overnight.

a few sips of warm or cool fennel tea is amazing for wind. DS2 was a screamer until MW suggested this. After a feed he had some sips of tea and if I put my hand on his stomach I could feel the bubbles burst. His rigid windfilled body would relax and with a large fart he would fall asleep.

We had this as well and my dh used to take dd down to the sitting room and look after her down there/doze on and off with her etc so that I could get more sleep and face the day ahead looking after ds as well - could your dh not do this if he goes to bed earlier?