How to stop night time bf in a one year old? Help!

[noolia]

I really want to stop bf ing now. Can't believe it really, after struggling so much to start with - I never thought I would do 5 months! DD feeds at 9.30, 1 sh and 5 ish. She's not really hungry - just has a little comfort sleep. She really only falls to sleep on the boob though she starts in her cot but always ends up in bed with us after she first wakes up (I am too lazy / tired to put her back once she has nodded off)

Any suggestions on breaking these habbits!

Although I breastfed my daughter for 12 months, I cut out night feeds when she was 8 months. The health visitor advised me how to go about it, I went to a great breastfeeding group where lots of helpful advise was given, any in your area?

I was told to slowly cut down on the amount of time dd was on the boob, 5 minutes less each night until she was barely on there at all. If she fell asleep whilst feeding I had to wake her up before putting her back in her cot, this was to stop her associating feeding with falling to sleep. They need to learn to get themselves to sleep, that way when they wake in the night they can settle themselves and not need comfort feeding back to sleep.

I then had to do controlled crying. The health visitor can also advise you on this. It's pretty awful at the time, you have to be ready and really want to do it as the worst thing is to give up half way through, but if you're anything like me you'll be in tears feeling really upset about leaving her . Having said that it worked and my daughter has slept solid, (unless poorly) from 7pm - 6:30am every night since, and she's 3 now. Also worked on her younger brother.

This is how it works. If dd wakes go into room, do not turn on light, do not talk, do not lift her out of cot. Stroke her head softly and say something soothing, 'sleepy time, shh shh' or something similar. Do this until dd stops crying then leave the room. When she starts crying again leave her for 5 minutes then go back in and repeat. Next time leave it 10 minutes before going in, then 15, the maximum you should do is 20 minutes in between going in to soothe her. Eventually dd should get the idea that she's not getting the boob, interaction, cuddles etc, so might as well go to sleep. I had to do this every night for a week with my daughter, but worked in 2 nights for my son.

Like I said it is horrid and I know a lot of Mums can't go through it, but it does work and you will eventually have a happier baby who sleeps well and a happier less tired Mummy. I would advise speaking to a health visitor about it though.

Good luck however you decide to tackle it! xx

I have linked to this article a few time before, but it worked for us.

dr jay gordon

Only thing is, if you start feeding in the night for whatever reason again (illness, travel etc.) you have to do the whole process all over again.

I didn't leave DS2 to cry alone - I gradually withdrew.

He was v. cross the first night (30 minutes of tantrum in my arms), then only 15 minutes and after that it was only a quick wail and back to bed.

It helps if your DH/DP can go in instead of you.

Just re-read OP - I found it easier to force myself to put my 2 DS (both bf) back to bed even though it's a struggle iyswim.

At around 11mo, we weaned DS off of night feeds (sort of) without leaving him to cry.

I fed DS at bed time(7), and then we did a dream feed at around 10. Any wakeups between that and around 4-5am were dealt with by DH. It took about 4 nights for him to sleep from 10.30 till around 5am without waking, which gave me a nice long sleep period. He came into bed with us at 5.

Please note that this didn't stick when he got (quite) ill a few weeks later, but since he's been better he's been gradually sleeping longer by himself (last night he slept 6 til 5!). I think the most important thing we did, back then and more recently, leading to his improved sleeping, was putting him back into his cot / bed after feeds unless you're planning to co-sleep permanently.

What also helped for us was a toddler bed, but DS never liked his cot much, and hasn't fallen out of the bed, which is always a risk.

Thanks for that advice ladies. I'm not sure that I'm strong-willed enough for controlled crying but putting her back in her cot makes sense - I guess I've just got to be determined.
She also doesn't go to sleep till 7.30 anyway and generally wakes up fully refreshed half an hour later and grumbles till I feed her at about 10. It's really two separate but linked issues.