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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

How do i stop breastfeeding my 15 month DS?? -What are your experiences of this?

36 replies

breakfastinbed · 20/02/2009 22:33

I feel silly asking this( i should just stop, right?), but it seems like such a mountain to climb. He is an incredibly determined and willful thing and he will put up a massive fight. Any tips for how to make it easier on us both?

I also have the problem that he won't touch any other kind of milk (including breast milk out of a bottle). He has a good, balanced diet and a hearty appetite. -Can he do without milk?

OP posts:
Original poster
breakfastinbed · 20/02/2009 22:34

(He has about 3 shortish feeds during the day, feeds to get to sleep at night, and then 3 or 4 times at night. I wouldn't mind keeping up a morning and evening feed, but the rest have to go as i need to work and, above all, to sleep. I am assuming however, that there will be a constant battle for more unless i give up completely.)

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Original poster
breakfastinbed · 20/02/2009 22:35

(Is this the right thread for this question?)

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ShowOfHands · 20/02/2009 22:37

You could wean him at night. I think this would be easier for you both. Suddenly stopping could be fairly traumatic on both sides.

I'm no expert but if you search night weaning on the archives and keep this bumped, I'm sure you'll find lots and lots of help.

Well done on feeding so long btw.

mrsjammi · 20/02/2009 22:38

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Original poster
breakfastinbed · 20/02/2009 22:40

Thanks SofH, I'm sure you're right about doing the night first but he is so tenacious and angry that when i try i end up with virtually no sleep. -After a couple of days i give up, exhausted . Maybe this is just how it has to be...?

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Original poster
breakfastinbed · 20/02/2009 22:42

Oh MrsJ, i feel for you. We have lots of dive bombing here too. What are we going to do? Hopefully someone will let us in on the secret...

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Greedygirl · 20/02/2009 22:44

Hi breakfastinbed I need to know the answer to this question too! I was hoping that my 15 mo would eventually wean himself but he is showing no signs of slowing down (although he only wakes up once or twice in the night now). He also feeds to sleep.

I think from what I have read on Kellymom.com he will be fine without extra milk because he will get what calcium he needs at this age from yoghurts, cheese etc. The tricky bit is just convincing them that they don't need it!

Greedygirl · 20/02/2009 22:46

Sorry xposts - mine is also turning into a determined dive bomber!

mrsjammi · 20/02/2009 22:46

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HollyGoHeavily · 20/02/2009 22:49

My experience has been a little different - I weaned DD1 in the day first when she was around 10 months old and then tackled the nightime later. I dropped the mid afternoon feed and gave her a cup of milk (which she grudgingly drank around 2-3oz of after a couple of days) and then the mid morning feed. I found it easier to stop during the day rather than the night as it was easier to distract her with other things when she wanted feeding - i think it had got to be a habit with her rather than a real hunger for milk. I also found that as she drank less milk in the day she ate more and more solids and woke less at night.

DD is now 14 months and I am now at the stage where I am feeding her first thing in the morning and last thing at night. My plan is to drop the early morning feed next and then, once she is drinking milk from a cup then, drop the last feed. The thought is making me nervous (and a little sad tbh as i enjoy breastfeeding) but I think it has to be done.

Good luck

ShowOfHands · 20/02/2009 22:59

Just to add, I do sympathise with the night feedings. My dd is 21mo and we co-sleep. She dive bombs/twiddles/lifts my top up/asks quite eloquently for "more milk now please mummy". I am happy to let her self wean and only recently has her feeding slowed down from several times a day and several times a night to 2 or 3 times a day and a couple of times at night.

EachPeachPearMum · 20/02/2009 23:05

Hi!
Will he use a cup?
My dd was bf until 17 mo, when I decided to stop- I cut out the morning feed first, as sleeptime has always been an issue for her.
By this age, she was down to just morning and evening anyway, as Iwent back to work when she was 13 mo, so she had cows milk in a cup during the day at nursery.
At 15 mo he really does not need milk in the night. Cut those out first- only offer water when he wakes- in a sippy cup or bottle, whichever he can manage. He will soon learn there is no point waking for just water. It may take a few nights, depending how stubborn he is.
DD is v wilful, but you have to persevere- you need the sleep! As he becomes more and more active, you really need a decent night's rest.
Cutting out the evening feed-I told DD that my milk was all gone- she just accepted that, and never pestered for more- I realise I was lucky, and he may need more convincing!
HTH

Original poster
breakfastinbed · 21/02/2009 00:47

I guess it's just you and me then MrsJammi?

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Original poster
breakfastinbed · 21/02/2009 00:56

Whoops! Kids waking all evening so i've only just got back to the computer. -Bumped before i refreshed screen and read all the last posts. Will read NOW.

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Original poster
breakfastinbed · 21/02/2009 01:07

Mine will only sleep with contact too MrsJammi. Unfortunatly -and bizarrely- his unshakable preference is for using my skull as a pillow. Not comfy!

Love the "more milk now please mummy" ShowOfHands. I can't see my DS being so polite when he starts to speak.

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Original poster
breakfastinbed · 21/02/2009 01:10

Thanks GreedyGirl, that's what i needed to know.

Good luck with it Holly. i share your ambivalence about stopping BFing but, like you, i think it has to happen.

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babyOcho · 21/02/2009 09:26

SoH - "more milk now please mummy" - what a polite little girl!!

Pablop · 22/02/2009 10:40

breakfastinbed and mrsjammi - please let me know how you get on. My DS is 13 months and seems to be feeding more, he eats well, drinks milk out of a bottle or cup but still wants feeding every time we have a cuddle. I really need to stop, very embarrassed at a family meal when DS yanked down my top.

Greedygirl · 22/02/2009 17:29

This thread is really good for me as I know I am not the only one with a DC who seems to be getting more reliant on bfeeding rather than the other way around. I guess that if you don't want(or can't) go with the flow and let them self-wean then you have to be more pro-active and start saying no . I just really wanted him to lead the way but I have the distinct feeling that I could be feeding him for a long time yet and I haven't made up my mind if I feel happy continuing for a long time.

mrsjammi · 22/02/2009 22:20

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Pannacotta · 22/02/2009 22:28

I got a bit fed up with DS2 feeding lots at night. However, I dont like cc and couldnt face trying to persuade him his cot is a good place to sleep.
I decided to go with the flow and just try not to feed him straight away if he woke up and cried,is I'd wait to see if he calmed down before feedign him. This seemed to work for us and he dropped night feeds on his own (he was about 19 months though).

No need to stop altogether breakfast and I agree that stopping suddenly woudl be traumatic for both of you, but night weaning woudl make life easier for you.

lenny101 · 22/02/2009 22:45

I'd say gradually is best. Night weaning is, I would say, the place to start if you really need to. I have night weaned both DS's with DH's assistance. Is this possible for you? It really helped and whilst, in the short term, it clearly wasn't what either DS's wanted, having a person they love and trust to comfort them back to sleep, was much much better than being left to cry. DH took a week off to do this, he was tired, for both DS's. Don't get me wrong, they cried, but they were safe and entirely aware that they were not alone, (and settled relatively quickly).
Otherwise I agree with EachPeach, offer sips of water and lots of love and cuddles... (rocking, singing... whatever works). I could always go on bf'ing for months longer once night feeding was over. (Fed DS1 to 3 yrs and DS2 to 20mths).

lenny101 · 22/02/2009 22:50

Good luck and do what feels right. x

Original poster
breakfastinbed · 26/02/2009 23:31

Anyone still there? MrsJammi, if you are there, i'm up for a support thread if you are. Your situation sounds very like mine. You're probably not there anymore though...

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peppapighastakenovermylife · 26/02/2009 23:51

Was randomly talking to someone today about someone who had the same issue (and now wondering if it is you lol).

My DS self weaned at about this age so I cant offer any direct advice but have you tried maybe changing things around so the cues arent there as such? Can someone else put him to bed - even if this means you leaving or pretending to leave the house? When DS was younger he wouldnt sleep without feeding if I was there but if I wasnt he was more than happy? Or change bedtime routine a bit. Sorry if this has been suggested - havent had time to read thread properly.

In terms of milk I wouldnt worry too much - again my DS is the same. He suddenly started drinking milk when he was about 2 but rarely wants it. I try and get as much yoghurt and cheese down him as I can instead.

Hope you find a solution - you've done so well! You mentioned other children - did you feed them and how did you wean them?

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