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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Your partners/husbands' reaction to BF in public

34 replies

aurorec · 19/02/2009 15:17

I hope this doesn't turn into another controversial thread, but I'm just curious about men and their reaction to the mother of their child nursing in public.

DH has always been 100% supportive of my BF both children and has absolutely no issues about where I do it.
I tend to be discreet for my sake rather than anyone else's (flabby tummy and leaky boobs being the problem), but I've nursed in airports, planes, trains, restaurants etc. as well as in front of male friends and even his boss' house once when we were invited there for dinner.

He's never once expressed any awkwardness/negativity about it.

However, I was talking to my sister about BFing a while ago (she nursed her 2 sons for 8 weeks). She never nursed in public and she told me proudly that her husband wouldn't have liked it because he didn't want her exposing herself in public.
One of my best friends, an extended nurser, said exactly the same thing. She told me that although her husband was totally behind extended nursing, he didn't want men to see his wife nursing.

Now I guess I am very lucky- it's never come up for us, but quite frankly I think that if hubby had expressed disapproval I would have told him to grow up and get over himself.

Having issues with your wife sunbathing topless I might understand, but feeding a baby? Please.

OP posts:

CaptainKarvol · 19/02/2009 15:23

Was never, ever an issue. Have nursed at DH's bosses house as well! Never occured to me that DH would have any concerns beyond my comfort and our son's wellbeing.

Poledra · 19/02/2009 15:48

Was so not an issue. DH was/is concerned for my comfort and our DCs, but has never seen it as exposing myself.

Actually, I remember being in a pub beer garden with some friends, eating chips and mayo and feeding DD1. DH started laughing and said that when we first got together, he couldn't have imagined a time when he'd have been happy for me to get my boobs out in a pub beer garden in front of his mates

PuzzleRocks · 19/02/2009 15:51

If possible, DH is even moe pro breastfeeding than I. That includes the belief that we need to see more people feeling comfortable to breastfeed publicly to promote greater acceptance.

PuzzleRocks · 19/02/2009 15:52

more

Bucharest · 19/02/2009 15:52

Am in Italy where it's considered the norm, anytime, anywhere.
In hospital, with dd 24 hrs old, dp brought his 25 yr old nephew to see her, I was feeding and embarassed.....until I saw that for the nephew it was just the way a baby gets fed.

(t'is possibly the one good thing about living here!)

CherryChoc · 19/02/2009 15:54

DP is not particularly supportive of me breastfeeding but he has never expressed any concern or embarrassment at me feeding in public. His friends when they come round are awkward though and fix their eyes firmly on the TV!

It surprises me actually because he has expressed jealousy of the fact before I met him other people had seen my norks! I think he manages to separate breastfeeding from general nakedness though.

MrsBadger · 19/02/2009 15:57

DH was proud of my feeding dd wherever and whenever she needed and told me so

goddamned hippy

LoveaDAISYcal · 19/02/2009 15:57

My DH has been totally supportive of BFing and the question of me feeding in public has never really come up. He has, I assume, expected that if the baby was hungry I would just feed it. When we have been out, in the early days with DD, it was me that was worried about it (not great at latching, flabby belly, stretchmarks on show etc), and he was the one trying to reassure me that a) no-one was even looking at me, and b) you couldn't see anything.

He has never given me any reason to think that he is uncomfortable with it, and the one time I said that I would go upstairs when his Dad was round (as I know PIL gets a bit uncomfortable about it which then makes me uncomfortable) DH told me not to be ridiculous as it is DS's house and if he needs feeding he gets fed.

It sounds like a case of not being able to separate the nurturing function of breasts from the sexual function. Most enlightened fathers are able to do this happily though and realise that a woman feeding in public doesn't equate to a topless glamour shot.

EffiePerine · 19/02/2009 15:59

Huh? DH wasn't overly keen on me feeding DS1 after a year (though sensibly left the decision to me) but he has never complained about my feeding in public or 'seeing' me feed the DSs. He'd be more upset at them crying!

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 19/02/2009 16:04

It's never even been mentioned by my DH and tbh I've never considered it either.

Some of our male friends were a little uncomfortable when I was feeding ds1 but now we're 8 months down the line with ds2 none of them bat an eyelid. Even my friend who's pregnant now has said I'm glad you've bf your 2 as now no-one (in our group of frinds)worries about it.

mumoftoby · 19/02/2009 17:06

My DH was happy if I was happy wherever I decided to breastfeed. He has asthma and eczema so was absolutely desperate for me to breastfeed both boys. The 4 of us went to one of his friend's weddings when DS2 was 2 months old. Out of my own wishes (i.e. not DH's) I was finding really quiet places to breastfeed on my own. Unfortunately, when the official wedding photos were put on the internet by the photographer there, for all the guests to see, was a photo of me breastfeeding. The photographer hasn't realised that i'm feeding him I think. (My mum had cleverly altered a 2 layer coast top into a discrete breastfeeding top, so thankfully there is no jelly belly on show). I am really blushing typing this and thinking about it now. Anyway my DH just laughed his head off!

Now at the thought of breastfeeding being a thing of the past (I won't be having anymore) I am glad the photo was taken and have asked my DH to order it for me for mother's day . Still wish it hadn't benn on internet for all to see.

DontlookatmeImshy · 19/02/2009 17:13

Dh was quite happy for me to feed in public but i was always super-discreet anyway. He was a bit about me feeding in front of his parents though.

Rhian82 · 19/02/2009 19:28

DH was more pro it than me I think - took me a while till I was ready as we struggled to latch at first so I wanted to wait until I could just pop DS on, rather than spend half an hour with my breast out trying to coax it into his mouth! DH used to encourage me lots, and I think is quite proud of me doing it now.

raisingrrrl · 19/02/2009 19:43

Dh is a complete lactivist and has challenged shopping centre security guards who have dared to try and move me on from a bench when feeding ds (who was about 5 months at the time!)

It's very cute.

raisingrrrl · 19/02/2009 19:43

Dh is a complete lactivist and has challenged shopping centre security guards who have dared to try and move me on from a bench when feeding ds (who was about 5 months at the time!)

It's very cute.

thisisyesterday · 19/02/2009 19:52

my partner has never been anytrhing but 100% supportive of me breastfeeding full stop, no matter where or when.

he prob knows that he'd have got short shrift if he'd been anything other than that lol

nicewarmslippers · 19/02/2009 21:16

isn't it great so many of us have great dps. I am SO sorry for women who bf without that support. It must be so hard. My dp is fantastic too.

BouncingTurtle · 19/02/2009 21:57

DH has always been very supportive, his main concern was that I was comfortable, not that people were staring... and to be honest I don't want to flash my flab at all and sundry so I do cover up. But I've nursed ds pretty much everywhere. He rarely needs feeding in public now (he is nearly 14mo) but if he did I would have no hesitation in doing so and Dh would support that.

4andnotout · 19/02/2009 22:00

I have always had dp's support with bfing in public.

ClapClapClap · 19/02/2009 22:02

My DP has always been totally supportive too. DD is 9mo now and I don't think he even thinks about it anymore. The only person that has ever been funny about me bf is DP's dad. Apparently he's 'just old fashioned' I don't even know where to start with that one!

hellymelly · 19/02/2009 22:09

my dh has always been totally supportive,never been an issue.He thinks a woman feeding a baby is a lovely thing,he loves babies full stop.and women come to that!

MamaHobgoblin · 19/02/2009 22:20

Um, yeah. What other people said! DH is very behind me and would have become very defensive on my behalf if anyone had challenged me. Has never said he 'minded' me feeding DS anywhere he needed it. TBH, if he was the sort to 'mind' I probably wouldn't be with him. They're not his boobs, they're mine!

Rindercella · 19/02/2009 22:23

Thankfully DH has always been very supportive - never been an issue for him.

charmargot · 19/02/2009 22:29

Never thought to ask my bloke! I fed wherever I happened to be - including a meeting to get a drama project off the ground that I was going to be paid to do.
However, I am a prude!
You could stare all you liked, you'd never see my boobs or giant nipples!
I am a prude because I'm also a starer!!

StayFrosty · 19/02/2009 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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