Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Help for friend please

14 replies

BFfriend · 17/02/2009 21:26

I'd be really grateful for help for a friend.

Her DS is 5 wks and still hasn't regained his birthweight. He was just over 6 1/2 lbs at birth and is still about 3-4 oz below that. He hasn't put weight on this week. So far he has been exc BF (inc some expressed milk) but she is thinking about introducing a formula feed. DS seems to spend a lot of time feeding (though often falls asleep when feeding) and is taking the expressed bottle. Her HV sounds utter pants and has given her virtually no guidance. All she seems to do is weigh the baby and note 'concern' but not offer any actual advice. Friend is a single mum and doesn't have a car so getting to sources of help is limited. My friend is obviously concerned but doesn't know how worried to be or what she should do.

I don't have much more info than that but would be grateful for any advice.
Thanks (and have name changed as don't want to tell her my nickname!)

OP posts:
fishie · 17/02/2009 21:29

she should speak to a bfc asap. numbers down right hand side worth trying now even, they are volunteers so are likely to be at home.

how is her baby other than weight, is he weeing and pooing? alert?

Original poster
BFfriend · 17/02/2009 21:36

Thanks fishie, I will give her those numbers. I've not yet seen her DS (have my own young baby and live at the other end of the country but planning to visit this week) but she says he spends a lot of time crying (which may be a good thing - not listless). She says wee and poo OK but it's so difficult to tell how things should be as a first time mum so it's difficult to be quite sure what she means.

OP posts:
fishie · 17/02/2009 21:39

i've just seen such a good thing on another thread - a wet nappy is one which makes a 'thud' when dropped on floor.

is hard to say from your post whether the milk is getting into the baby you see, that is a good way of telling and a potentially very serious problem if not.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 17/02/2009 21:40

Where does she live? Are there any bf groups local to her? Mine was a great source of support with ds1.

Original poster
BFfriend · 17/02/2009 21:42

Thanks Fishie. I will talk to her about that. I find it difficult to know whether the milk is getting in too as all the info I have is from phone conversations. I am BF myself but things have gone relatively smoothly so am trying to tread the line between helping and seeming to be preaching. I am getting worried though especially as the only HCP she is seeing seems to be an idiot.

OP posts:
WibblyPigRocks · 17/02/2009 21:47

The La Leche League helpline really helped me when I had BFing problems. The local groups are often good and the local leaders may well be able to help her too.

I'm afraid I don't know how to do links but if you google La Leche, I'm sure you'll find them.

I would also suggest the NCT, but whenever I called their national helpline, all the helpers were busy and the answerphone was too full to leave a message, so see how you go.

AitchTwoOh · 17/02/2009 22:03

gosh, i'm surprised that the hv is leaving her to it. mine went ballistic that dd1 (also 6 and a half at birth) wasn't regaining her birth weight. and while we thought that her nappies were wet, i realise now that they weren't.

if she's a single mum, it must be hard for her to get the time to pump, pump, pump to get her supply up. i dunno, i'd be urging her to get more help, possibly from the hospital if that's easier to access. if the baby is sleepy, that may honestly be because he is too knackered to feed successfully. i know in my case i was advised with both dds to supplement and i did, in order to give them a dose of energy. i also pumped as well. if she does supplement, tell her to ask for help bringing it to a close as well, cos mix feeding is a pita and not good for supply. all too often the HCPs tick a box when they see you're ffing and don't offer help to get back to exc bfing.

but basically, i'd be concerned about a 5 week old still not back at birth weight, judgning by my experiences.

fishie · 17/02/2009 22:09

aitch / bffriend i wonder whether there is something else going on with the birth / now weights, perhaps they can't accurately be compared? anyway, speculation.

i agree, it does seem odd that the hv isn't suggesting intervention - they usually do!

not sure re hospital help, there was something called a bf counsellor at mine and she was nothing of the sort. had i listened to her then ds would have been seriously ill or worse - she gave the worst advice of the lot of them (gps, paeds, hvs, nurses, mws)

fishie · 17/02/2009 22:09

hasten to add do not avoid hospital if the baby is not doing well!

AitchTwoOh · 17/02/2009 22:10

i was only meaning hospital as it's fairly easy to access. tbh i think a baby that age who hasn't reached his bw should be seen by someone other than a counsellor, i was thinking more along the lines of neonatologist.

cory · 17/02/2009 22:16

I had this problem with both my dc's as they both were hypotonic so not very good at sucking. With dd, who was my first, this did get quite bad: like your friend's ds, she started falling asleep and gradually got weaker. Fortunately, it was spotted by a doctor and we were admitted to hospital where the breastfeeding counsellor helped us. I had to use a mixture of syringing expressed breast milk into her and breastfeeding. Not something I recommend: it was exhausting. But once it got better, I was able to go back to bf'ing- gave dd her last breast feed at 11 months.

With ds, I was more prepared, so when he started following the same pattern, I gave him a top-up bottle. Of course, this is not normally recommended as there is a risk of diminishing milk supply. My reasoning was that a) I had a lot of milk b) I would rather risk having to go onto formula than ending up with a second malnourished baby.

In the event, it did not seem to affect the milk supply and I was able to carry on breastfeeding until 6 months (and only stopped then for unrelated reasons).

So yes, I think I probably would go for the bottle in an emergency. Or, if she has the energy, bottle-feed a top-up of expressed milk after several of the daily feeds. Starting with the breast and then topping up.

But I would definitely try to get hold of someone local to help first. For me, the breastfeeding counsellor at the local hospital was a godsend.

Faithcasey · 17/02/2009 22:35

Hiya
Tell your friend to see if there is a BFing group locally. i was having terrible problems BFing, I had to top him up the EBM every feed, but once I got help he was fine. Now he's 8 months and going great. Also I had formual made up ready, just in case, so I knew, if I didn't express enough I know I had food for him. Wish your friend luck

Original poster
BFfriend · 18/02/2009 13:09

Thanks for the replies. I will pass them on and help her to get help. I just don't know how urgent that should be i.e. should it be - is it 'here's a BF group that might be able to help' or is it 'I think you need to get proper medical help now'? She's really keen to BF and I am one of the only people she knows who does so she is relying on me a bit which is fine but I feel a bit out of my depth!

Thanks again for the help

OP posts:
Original poster
BFfriend · 18/02/2009 13:09

Thanks for the replies. I will pass them on and help her to get help. I just don't know how urgent that should be i.e. should it be - is it 'here's a BF group that might be able to help' or is it 'I think you need to get proper medical help now'? She's really keen to BF and I am one of the only people she knows who does so she is relying on me a bit which is fine but I feel a bit out of my depth!

Thanks again for the help

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page