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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

What, exactly, DOES my MIL approve of? FFS <moan>

15 replies

MamaG · 15/02/2009 17:33

She always has sly digs at me for BF (or thats how it feels to me)

"ooh aren't you tired?"
"ooh he's so big, why don't you give him a bottle"
"ooh you're making a rod for your own back always cuddling him" (I'm farking feeding)
"ooh why don't you top him up wiht formula so DH can feed him"

etc

Niece is pg. MIL huffed yesterday "...and she's not even going to give BF a try"

[head explodes]

What does she want? DH says just ignore, she will disagree with whatever anybody does just so she can have a moan.

I just feel baffled by teh woman!!

OP posts:

tiktok · 15/02/2009 17:39

Useful comment to make in the face of this, is something like, 'MIL, you seem concerned about me cuddling/feeding/breastfeeding/being tired, and I appreciate it....what can I say that will help reassure you everything's ok?'

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 15/02/2009 17:44

My mil is like this. I think once some women get to a certain age, moaning becomes their hobby.

BouncingTurtle · 15/02/2009 17:53

I the Seashells has got it!

Poor you! And your poor niece!

BouncingTurtle · 15/02/2009 17:54

think not the!

turtle23 · 15/02/2009 17:56

Mothers-in-law are meant to torture you. I don't think that I wil tell MIL that I am giving up BF as it would just make her soooo happy. I am apparently perverted for feeding him for 11 months.

BouncingTurtle · 15/02/2009 18:00

Add - tell her when is about 5 hehehehe.

pgwithnumber3 · 15/02/2009 21:13

Just squirt a bit of Breast Milk in her eye as you remove DS, she will soon shut up.

likessleep · 15/02/2009 21:23

rofl pgwn3!

cheesemonster · 16/02/2009 08:41

My MIL is like this & when I tried to explain how uncomfortable the remarks where she told me it was all in my head! Anyhow the only way we have been able to deal with her is to say zip it or else & she wont zip it so we have had to say bye. Drastic but I have had 3 years of it now & we are all fed up.

iwantitnow · 16/02/2009 09:51

I think I BF for nearly 2 years just to spite MIL... Expecting baby no.2 very soon and can't wait for her comments

Admania · 16/02/2009 12:41

My MIL thinks it is OK to being insulting by doing it in a baby voice as if she is my son, e.g. "Oh Gran, what are they doing to me now?" whenever we do anything other than hold him lovingly in our arms, like feed or change him.

Guitargirl · 16/02/2009 12:48

iwantitnow - me too! I bf DD till she was 20 months and was very reluctant to tell MIL when I stopped because of all her 'helpful' comments when I was feeding. DS is now 4 weeks old, am bf and MIL is due to visit soon for a week to drive me bonkers help. I have made a bet with myself that she is going to bring bottles and dummies with her when she comes. After struggling to latch DD on for ages at the start, DS has taken to bf straightaway. Now that she has no reason to suggest bottle feeding (unlike last time when she tried to get me to take a pill to dry up milk on day 4 ) this time she has suggested that me bf is going to make DD jealous and cause her untold psychological damage. Sigh.

Tryharder · 16/02/2009 22:45

I have similar problems but with my mum. She went out and bought a dummy for DS1 without asking me and gave it to him (he spat it out fortunately). Am currently bf DS2 and I still get comments like "Is that baby feeding again?", "Isnt it time he was in a routine?"

My mum (like most of her generation) was told that babies feed every 4 hours and sleep through from 6 weeks old and should just be left to cry...

I actually hold her partially responsible for my failing to bf DS1 exclusively (I was living with my parents at the time and was bombarded constantly with comments like "give him some real milk"i.e formula, "you should only feed him every 4 hours" when DS1 was ONE WEEK old and cluster bfeeding in the evening....) I knew nothing about bf/babies at the time so made the mistake of actually listening to her....

But I try not to be bitter....

But these days, I just tell her to shut up and remind her that she knows naff all about bf as she failed to bf either myself or DB successfully (ouch). That usually does the trick.

Original poster

MamaG · 17/02/2009 10:50

Am calm.

Will do tiktok's suggestion and if that doesn't work, pgwn3!

OP posts:

Flibbertyjibbet · 17/02/2009 10:58

As one who bf two babies and whose inlaws have never even attemtped bf, sil and bils gf both had two bottle fed babies...

I realised when ds2 was born that feeding is just the first of many many things that such an mil will criticise.

So just carry on feeding when and how you like, smile sweetly at her and say 'do you want a cuddle when he's finished feeding?' and let it aallllll go over your head.

Well done your mil though for huffing about your niece. Mine were all like the ff police ganging up on me for bf

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