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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

So down and thinking about giving up bf - support please

25 replies

downbutnotout · 13/02/2009 18:18

My ds (dc2) is ten days old and I cannot believe I feel like this but I am close to giving up bf. My nipples are so cracked every latch on is agony and i don't know how much longer I can take it. Any advice welcomed - I can just about cope with the lack of sleep but this is finishing me off. I bf my dd for nearly a year (about 4 years ago) and I remember the inital breaking in period being painful but not in this league. I am worried about ds anyway as he has only pooed once in six days and I'm just finding it really hard to cope with dreading every feed. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

Cathpot · 13/02/2009 18:22

Lots of people will come on and give you links and advice, just wanted to bump for you and say it is so horrible when bf not going well, and you are absolutely in the right place to get support. I can only offer the usual ; get anyone and everyone to check your latch (some good sites on internet- will dig them out if others dont pop up with them), cover yourself in nipple cream all the time. All the best

shonaspurtle · 13/02/2009 18:25

Oh I'm sorry. I know what it feels like to dread feeds, it's pure misery.

Are you getting any rl professional support from someone you trust? Bf counsellor? LLL? NCT? How's ds's weight? Do you think your latch could be better?

I suffered really badly with cracked nipples and it did take a long time for them to heal. Looking back, it was all about the latch - I was lucky enough to see a great bf counsellor and she could help me latch ds on so that it didn't hurt, even with cracks. Unfortunately it took ages for me to be able to do this myself!

I'd really advise you seeing someone face to face if at all possible. I know that can be easier said than done..

PrettySprinkles · 13/02/2009 18:31

Try to hand express a little milk after every feed and rub it around your nipple area. Then try to let your nips air whenever possible. Worked better than any cream for me and I wasn't worrying about what DS was eating.

Have you had someone check your latch/position? Sometimes that can be why you're sore?

Good luck with it...

tiktok · 13/02/2009 18:34

downbutnotout -

Call a midwife and ask for someone to come out this evening and help you position your baby in a way that does not hurt....you should still be under midwifery care.

A baby who has not pooed in 6 days in the first week or so also needs checking out - weight, feed effectiveness, genera; well-being - so she can do this too, and in fact, whatever happens with the feeding, the baby does need to be checked.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 13/02/2009 18:40

Agree with others re: latch.

I had dreadful problems with DS and stayed in hospital until we got it sorted. Having fed DD until she was about 13 months, I was surprised to be having difficulties.

But I asked for help. Frequently and often.

Please don't be afraid to ask for help if what you want to do is b/f. There is help available...

In the meantime, Lansinoh helps...

lory · 13/02/2009 18:47

Ok, it hurts a lot, so try to latch your baby before his feeding time, so he won?t be too hungry and go softer IYSWIM. When I had that, the LLL consultant gave me a tube of pure lanoline to put on nipples and keep on while bf. No chemicals in it so nothing irritating and safe for the baby. Try changing position so the major pressure isn?t always on the same area.
If you?re BF while seating, put a cushion on your legs, so baby is higher and won?t pull your nipple.
Try calling the LLL helpline now, they will have the perfect answers for you.
0845 120 2918 or their web
www.laleche.org.uk/

Original poster

downbutnotout · 13/02/2009 19:03

Thanks all - mn is a lifeline! I have already had a fairly serious wobble when I totally lost my appetite at day 5 (to the degree that most foods made me gag) and started having panic attacks. Have got on top of this now, but the nipple problem just seems to get worse. Have seen various different midwives who have given me slightly different advice about the latch and now I am just confused and in pain.

Ds has also been checked by midwives and so far they say there is nothing to worry about as he seems healthy despite not pooing - doesn't stop me worrying though. Would really appreciate links for advice on the latch and also other postions.

OP posts:

shonaspurtle · 13/02/2009 20:04

www.drjacknewman.com has loads of stuff including videos of what a good latch looks like.

www.howbreastfeedingworks.com is hunker's site with loads of links & good stuff.

shonaspurtle · 13/02/2009 20:09

ps it's so frustrating to get conflicting advice. Is there a midwife you've spoken to who you've trusted and thought "yep, she knows what she's talking about."? If so, worth contacting again?

If not, really do try one of the helplines, maybe there's someone near you who can help.

I hope things get better soon..

Original poster

downbutnotout · 13/02/2009 20:20

Thanks shona - this time of the day is the worst. I know i will be alone all night and struggling with the pain. You mentioned you found a way of getting latched without pain - is it worth trying to describe that for me? I do know it can be very diffcult to descirbe these things and definitely does not touch fact to face advice.

OP posts:

Dillydaydreamer · 13/02/2009 20:29

So sorry you are feeling so bad atm For cracked nipples I found iced cabbage leaves on them soothing or a freezing flannel. Rub breast milk in before and after feeds or try lansinoh cream which you can get from Boots.
How is dss weight gain? If he is gaining but hasn't poo'd he may be getting all he needs, if he isn't gaining then you really need someone face to face to look at the latch. I know it isn't ideal to give a bottle but I would be tempted to express for a day or two until you can get latching advice to let your nipples recover so that you are not so tense while feeding.

Dillydaydreamer · 13/02/2009 20:33

To stop the end of the nipple getting sucked like in poor latch, pinch the nipple from one side of the areaola to the other horizontally then with other hand bring babes top lip over. Or finger in the side of baby mouth to get it wider to latch with the same words of 'big wide mouth' which mine learnt after a few days and did as requested.

Dillydaydreamer · 13/02/2009 20:35

Have you tried the rugby ball and lying down?

Biccy · 13/02/2009 20:36

I had a similar time with DD (she had a tongue tie, which didn't help.) I had very sore nipples, bled (very embarrassing when she pewked my blood on my next door neighbour!)and made the most amazing horror face at every latch on. But, the lady who sorted DD's tongue tie also sorted my position: I had DD's lower arm tucked in between us, which meant she was further from me than she needed to be, making it harder for her - that lower arm needs to drop down onto your tummy; also, I hadn't realised I really needed to keep her horizontal, so her bum was against my other boob; finally, I discovered I really had to hold her on, really push her head - murder on the wrists, but...
Anyway, sorry, you probably know all of this, especially assuming you bf DC1, but things certainly improved once all that was pointed out to me and I fed her to 20 months, only stopping when she lost interest.

Biccy · 13/02/2009 20:37

Sorry, just re-read your post and no assumption needed about your bf DC1.

Sheeta · 13/02/2009 20:38

Just to say... hang in there. I gave up after 8 days as I was in agony, and expressed for another 3 weeks, but I wish to god I'd carried on.

Read this, it will help.
splog.vox.com/library/post/bye-bye-booby-booby-bye-bye.html#comments

Sheeta · 13/02/2009 20:41

sory
splog.vox.com/library/post/bye-bye-booby-booby-bye-bye.html

shonaspurtle · 13/02/2009 20:47

Oh dear... it's been two years. Erm, it largely focussed on making sure ds had a wide open mouth before I put him to the breast so that he got a good mouthful of breast, not nipple. This seems to be key - they should breast feed, not nipple feed so your nipple doesn't get damaged, or if already damaged the sore area doesn't get rubbed.

I'm sure the Jack Newman videos show the technique for holding them so that they reflexively open wide.

I also used to take a handful (!) of breast and press down on his lower lip so that he was taking more than the nipple and then sort of post the rest in. I doubt this is recommended technique...

Dominique07 · 13/02/2009 20:51

I agree with the others,
but 10 days is early days, I DO remember feeling the agony...
But by about 6 weeks I had worked it out and actually found a comfy position. Since you've had previous experience you'll probably remember how worth while it is hanging in there for.

I bf DS until 18 months, only because I would sleep with baby in the bed - obviously yours might be too small/you might be too tired - and that was always the comfy way to bf, lying on my side with baby lying next to me feeding.

Cadelaide · 13/02/2009 20:55

Oh god, the hell of cracked nipples. All I can say is I bf 3 times and in each case the cracked-nipples-problem disappeared at around 2 weeks. (Apparently the latch was fine but i still got them anyway).

Good Luck!

Sheeta · 13/02/2009 22:37

Sorry, btw I've jst realised that the link I posted is by a fellow mumsnetter - have no wish to expose her identity.

Seriously though, please read her post, it's brilliant.

mumoftoby · 13/02/2009 22:59

Poor you - my left nipple hurt (and bled) like hell with DS1. Lansinoh literally had it sorted within a couple of days.

Also, an elderly retired midwife told me to switch to washable breast pads and not even use those at home - just leak and let air get to them. (I kept a woolen wrap on the bannister so I could open the door for the postie without woryying I had wet patches!)
I think it all helped. I did it from the start with DS2 and they didn't get sore. Good luck.

Original poster

downbutnotout · 14/02/2009 14:17

Thanks for all of this esp the blog - it has helped to inspire me to press on, at least for a while. I've examined my left nipple and there is what I can only describe as a hole on the bottom, which explains the pain.

OP posts:

Scotia · 14/02/2009 14:34

I have the same thing downbut, on my right nipple. I've never seen anything like it before, and he's my 6th baby. It hurts like hell when ds (3 weeks) latches, but it's not too bad after a few seconds. It is getting better slowly, and I have been getting a bit of help from my HV. The Lansinoh helps a bit too, but I feel bruised so I expect it will take a bit of time to fix itself. Keep asking for help until you get it sorted.

Helms · 14/02/2009 15:06

It is awful when you dread every feed. I kept telling myself 'I'll just get to the end of today' and that seemed to help. Suddenly you find you have got to the end of one, two or more weeks and with help it does get much better.

Would second the advice to try and get some RL help. Having support from someone who you trust (that is the important bit) is invaluable. Finding that person can be tricky. Can you enlist the help of your husband/ partner in making an initial call to the breastfeeding support lines to find out who is out there? If there is a midwife/ health visitor you particularly like, can you call them?

You are doing really well. Good luck with it all.

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