still feel bad two weeks after giving up b/f

9 replies

LoveActually · 11/02/2009 19:26

I managed a week b/f and gave up because a) was painful and b) birth was a bit traumatic and babyt lost more than 10% birth weight (i.e my milk wasn't 'good enough). At the time it felt like the best thing to stop and my DH has really enjoyed bottle feeding our 3 week old DD. Thing is I am still feeling terrible about it, crying etc, doesn't help when I read/watch celebrities who have managed to b/f.
Also I'\m worried that my risk of breast cancer might increase and her health is compromised.
I did get an infection (mastitis) after giving up and am still on antibiotics. Two weeks later have still got a lump in my left breast.
Just feeling horrible really. x

OP posts:

LoveBuckets · 11/02/2009 19:32

OK, deep breath... and relax.
Firstly, have a look here. Is it possible that you are just very hormonally challenged, sleep-deprived and perhaps projecting all your emotions on to the breastfeeding issue? All 3 are perfectly natural responses and I promise you there is at leat one new mum a day posting on Mumsnet feeling like you are. Big hug and well done for coming and asking for help.

Original poster

LoveActually · 11/02/2009 19:37

Dear LoveBuckets. Thank you for that link, I'm going to give them a call.
I know I'm not the first or the last to feel like this. x

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thisisyesterday · 11/02/2009 19:45

aww loveactually, it's so hard giving up breastfeeding isn't it? I felt exactly the same as yoiu when I stopped feeding ds1.

you may already know this and have dismissed it, but I'll mention just in case,.
it absolutely isn';t too late for you to re-start breastfeeding, if you wanted to. it would be quite hard work, but it definitely can be done.
there are a couple of other mumsnetters trying to relactate atm.

if it was something you thought you might like to do it would be worth contacting your local la leche league group for help and advice.

liath · 11/02/2009 19:52

Please don't feel your milk wasn't good enough - breast feeding can go wrong for many reasons but it's not because of the quality of milk.

I felt awful about giving up BFing dd at the time but now she's a happy 4 year old I hardly give any thought to how she was fed as a baby. And I did manage to successfully BF my second baby.

LoveBuckets · 11/02/2009 21:25

LOL forgot my comedy valentines name. Couldn't help chuckling at seeing it in a serious post.

notperfectmum · 11/02/2009 22:59

I had a few problems after baby 2 which meant I couldn't fully bf for a few weeks. I felt wretched as I had bf baby 1 for 13mths and felt I was letting db down etc. I found an amazing doula who helped me relactate despite MVs and HVs telling me I deserved a prize for effort and it would be ok to give up. It took time and effort but so pleased I did it and went on to feed for nearly a year. Whatever you end up doing remember feeding is only part of being a mum and you need to do what's right for you both.

Original poster

LoveActually · 12/02/2009 17:50

I'm still thinking about re-lactating, but my DH is really enjoying bottle feeding. And I guess if I do b/f again I can't just do it once a day. Feeling better about things today, it has helped me going on here and talking about things. x

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Tryharder · 12/02/2009 20:00

I gave up bf DS1 when he was 4 weeks old for similar reasons as you and then started again when he was about 10 weeks old! I never managed to exclusively bf again but still did night feeds and at least 2-3 feeds during the day. This went on until DS1 was 15 months old when he selfweaned. So it can be done.

Mixed feeding for me was great. I had no confidence in my own milk or bf abilities so was relaxed as I knew the formula would mean he wouldnt starve and then the bfs meant that he was getting my goodness iyswim. I used to bf him and then offer a bottle and then feel really elated when he refused it because he was full! I really wish I had known about mn then!

wobbegong · 12/02/2009 20:26

Hello LoveActually, I really feel for you. I have been there. It really does feel utterly awful, doesn't it? I cried and cried for weeks. You can try relactating (I did after a week off, then we mixed fed for a while). But don't feel that you have to.

Honestly, now my DD is one, I meet so many mums who recall how they spent months beating themselves up about bf not working out. Now our little ones are older, like liath says, you get a big sense of proportion. If bf doesn't work out, why beat yourself up and feel guilty? You gave it your best shot and your baby will grow big and strong and smily and chuckling on bottled milk, trust me. You go to the play group and you can't tell the difference, who was fed how. I was bottle fed for example and I turned out just great ! I am not knocking bf by the way, everyone should try it and if it can work - great. I have only just stopped, and establishing bf was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. (Much harder than labour- why did no-one tell me this?!) But it is only one part of being a mum. I second what notperfectmum says there. Please don't feel horrible and let it wreck this precious precious time for you, it will never come back.

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