how to stop those final crucial breastfeeds?

[perapera]

Hi everyone

Just wondering if people could share their experiences with giving up the final breastfeeds. I'm still feeding DD (13m) morning and evening (before she goes to bed) and I'd like to stop and just give her cows milk to drink.

But I don't really know how to go about it without tears and anger. It seems like those two feeds are really crucial compared to the other day time ones that I dropped quite easily. When she wakes up the morning, she cries until I feed her, and in the evenings after her bath she is often crying when I'm getting her into her pyjamas and again breastfeeding calms her down. Also, in the mornings, I breastfeed her in bed because she often wakes up quite early around 6 or 6.30. Is it just a case of jumping out of bed and getting her a beaker?

How did it go for other people?

Thanks in advance

I always used to bring DS into our bed in the morning and feed him before changing him and getting him dressed. Lately I've started doing it the other way round - dressed first, then (usually) I get dressed, and then if he really wants a feed he can have one. Sometimes he has a cup of milk (brought up the night before, lazy mummy) and that does. Sometimes he really wants a feed (which I give him). Sometimes he doesn't want either.
Evenings I give him a cup of milk at bathtime, and then offer him some more once he's out and dry and in his sleeping bag - generally he wants a feed then though, which I almost always give him.
He's absolutely fine when Daddy puts him to bed though, and sometimes chooses to have a 'feed' from Daddy (ie cup of milk) rather than a real one from Mummy. Cd your DH/P help out?

Yes, DP could help out. I'm just wondering how to avoid the crying. DD goes mental if we try to get her dressed before feeding her. Does your DS not mind?

im no help here i gave up bf my eldest at 13months because at the time i believed because she could have cows milk she didnt need bm and iv regreted it ever since wish i'd carried on those two feeds aday untill she chose to stop think carefully befor doing it

I'm still breastfeeding my DD but she never wants to breastfeed in the morning now since my DH has taken to playing with her for half an hour when she gets up before he goes to work. She just wants to go downstairs with daddy and play and eat breakfast.

I wasn't trying to drop this feed ( I quite like my morning snuggle with her) but it seems that distraction is the way

With the night feed you could try a different routine ie book with a cup of milk instead of a breastfeed. I am a bit clueless with this one as if I am around DD will always want breastfeeding before bed. My DH does book then bed when I am away and DD is fine with that

Would you consider continuing?

I am not by any means a militant extended bfer, but I fed ds2 until he was about 21 months and in the end he more or less self-weaned. he is extremely strong-willed and I was absolutely dreading weaning him, but we both just reached a point where we were ready. I wanted to stop and he'd pretty much lost interest and that was it. Just switched to a milk drink like his brother at bedtime and that was all. No stress, no sleepless nights. And it really ended the BF experience so well. I'd recommend trying it if you are willing/able to, though I know it's not for everyone. At the time he was feeding night time, nap time and occasionally if he woke in the night, so I was really worried about sleep associations but it really wasn't a problem.

Will follow this thread if you don't mind
I am in exactly the same situation, when I get DD (almost 13 months) out of bed in the morning she squawks and points to the chair in the corner of the room where I feed her. She always seems to want feeding before we do anything else, and feeds for quite a while. At night she is just like your DD, she is happy in the bath but once out and in the drying/getting pyjamas on stage she squawks until we sit down in the chair and I feed her. She usually feeds to sleep (bad mummy!)
I work full time so quite like the feeding, but I really don't know how to go about stopping and was just going to wait till DD decides she wants to stop.

I stopped bf ds at 11months when he started sleeping 8-8 going straight onto breakfast on waking.

this left us with the bedtime feed. I did it gradually, first stopping him from feeding to sleep, then halving the feeding time, then stopping altogether. I have replaced it with a story, lot and lots and lots of cuddles until he was sleepy enough for bed and a few ounces of warm milk from a beaker. for a few days he did a bit of rooting (rubbing his cheek over my chest again and again) and crying but it soon settled.

He goes to bed awake now, waits til i finish praying, smiles, rolls on his side and goes to sleep.

I love it!

Thanks everyone - it's great to hear other experiences.

I think I'd be ok with taking her straight down to breakfast if it was 8 o'clock, but at 6 it's SO much harder.... (but then I am REALLY bad at getting out of bed). Maybe I can convince DP that the only way is for him to get up with her and distract her!

I guess I wouldn't mind continuing if somehow it wasn't 'compulsory' ie if I could do it whenever I wanted. But I'm starting to find it restrictive in terms of having to get back from work in time for the feed (I've just started back at work) and (this is secretly the reason probably) not being able to have a lie-in EVER. It's a bit selfish probably.

Also I thought it might be easier to stop now rather than wait till DD is a proper toddler because then it might be much harder?

DS did mind the first few time he had to be changed before feeding, but not disastrously. DH did the changing, and to begin with he then just came running into bed as usual for a feed, it was only a little later that I then started to say how about some milk, or how about breakfast.

On needing to be back from work - how about you try NOT being back on time one time, and see if your DH can settle her with a beaker of milk? It worked for us long long before we made any attempt at all at weaning. So long as I wasn't there, he'd have milk in a cup. (First time we tried it I was home about 20 minutes after bedtime so I could pick up the pieces if necessary, but it was ok).

And as for a lie-in, well, I always wake when DS does anyway, but at least once a week DH takes him downstairs as soon as he's up and changed (and fed if he's really really wanting it, but I do that all snuggled up in bed).

I have just stopped feeding my 11 mth old because he lost interest, I wanted to carry on but I suppose that was more for me than him. I miss the quiet time in the evening and the cuddles in bed in the morning but it seems everything else is just too interesting!

I felt my 1st child until she was 13 mths, she enjoyed her feeds and wasn't too keen on stopping. I dropped the evening first feed and gave her milk in a beaker while we read books without too many complaints. The morning feed was the last to go. Initally she pulled at my top wanting a feed but I just gavee her big cuddles while she had milk from a beaker and we cracked it in two days. Good luck!