Am v v v annoyed (Maybe i should have put this in AIBU)

[BlueSapphire77]

Try not to ramble.
I have been BF DS2 for 3 weeks now, always (i thought) had a problem with latching on..nipples feel like a grinder has been over them
Now from watching this forum (THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH MN) i realised he may be tongue tied and took him to doc's last thursday to be told yes, they believed he was, and they referred him to the one and only MW/specialist.. who was off till yesterday, and was supposed to contact me to assess DS and if she thought it was the problem, she would also do the 'clipping'
Obv. because i am in the kind of pain that makes me dread feeding DS, and guilt that he doesn't get enough and is struggling, and the fact he is almost constantly attached to me to get enough milk, ALSO SIGH one of my boobs seems to have started drying up or alternatively cringing through the pain so much it refuses to let down, i am feeling terribly guilty/upset/in pain, you name it.
I refuse to give up though, i have been sorely tempted to just go out and buy formula and bottles today
The stupid woman (unreasonable i know) didn't contact me yesterday, i'm at the end of my tether tbh. Why do the NHS claim to be pro BF but leave you dangling at the first sign of a problem? Basically, my son isn't being fed properly, and i am in pain. Under any other circumstances this possibly could be called abuse IMO, a baby not being fed properly.. and if i was a dog i'd have more protection from the pain i'm in right now.

Wishing your baby would stay asleep because you are terrified to feed him
Ok i'm going to stop there, rant and guilt trip over. Hope the woman phones today and i hope she DOESN'T say "Nah nothing needs to be done" because i'll be up on a murder charge. Also hoping she doesn't give me an appt next week or something because i don't think with all the grit and determination in the world i can carry on that long

mamaG how awful.

I would tell anyone to stick that idea.. or as i did with DP...

'If you want me to go onto formula, fine. YOU pay for the bottles, sterilising stuff, formula for 12 months plus because i'll be wanting the follow on milk as well mister.'

"Don't you get a token or something"
Cue withering look and a very toe curling "No, i sodding don't"

Cue suddenly verrrry supportive DP (money being spent on anyone but himself seems to have that effect)

Lye - dont live there but its my closest Children's Centre. I haven't actually made it in since finishing my training a few months ago but have numbers for the SureStart midwife who is very helpful, and a few other contacts. The Lye group is on a tuesday afternoon if thats any easier for you to make?

Go ahead and save email - let me know if you need any advice/support in the future

BS - he only had one feed from a bottle, we went on to successfully BF exclusively adn are still going strong at 14 weeks

TY AA thank you so much
Threatened to phone social services and swore i wasn't being a drama queen, could practically see the MW on the phone going
JS offered an alternative appointment next week, i was like 'No this weeks fine' half shouting, 1/4 begging and 1/4 squeaking down the phone
Also had a call about baby massage so today is good Have gone from to in the time this thread has been active.. good karma lol

Well done MamaG its just a shame that you weren't supported in the way you should have been.. a lesser person would have given up..

This is why men don't give birth to babies

Hope it goes well on friday!

Jenny Sutherland did a session when I did my training on tongue-tie - I have a tongue-tie that was never picked up as a baby and she made me show everyone in the group!

Anyway she said it is a vey busy clinic and apparently it gets referrals from all over as there are not that many places that do the procedure.

AA could you point out to anyone who matters that TT isn't very well 'advertised' for want of a better word in all the leaflets handed out by the HV/MW.. its all good or its thrush/latching problems.. TT should be included in the literature more, if i wasn't on MN i wouldn't have known about it and would have probably given up.

Have just told the MW this and she agreed.

OMG you have done really well for getting this far poor you . I agree the NHS are all pro BF until it means they actually have to help you, I got no help whilst in hospital after having DS and I gave in and FF, I don't regret it cos he is very happy and healthy, I just wish I had been given more help and support.

So pleased for you BlueSaphire thank goodness. I am not a pushy person either but sometimes you just have to go for it and be arsey! Bet you can't wait for Friday now!

Oh and my DH treasures his testicles too much to tell me to 'get on with it'!

Mervyn Griffiths' research indicates 1/10 people are born tt. Makes you wonder how many women struggle through trying to bf and have to give up, without it ever being diagnosed.

DS had a tongue tie.

Diagnosed at 5 MONTHS .

I persevered through the excruciating pain, lack of weight gain, and PND. Was told at 5 months that we had stretched the tie ourselves. Not without buckets of tears on both parts. Was my first child and no MN and I thought it was "normal".

After all that work I wasn't going to stop without a fight - DS self-weaned at 2.6 years!

Am now 24 weeks pg and already have HCP's lined up for a snip if required.

Really glad you're getting it sorted BS - it is agony and so distressing.

Have to totally bump this thread three years on to say (yes i have namechanged) and my sons tonguetie was fixed and from THAT VERY DAY our bf experience improved, so much so i became an extended BF'er and fed him to the age of three. I would like to thank everyone on this thread for their support and encouragement at the time and tell you it was so much appreciated!
(Only just signed back up to MN after a long absence)

i'm glad you've kept on about it.

don't stop keeping on about it until you've got your snip.

no, it should be more "advertised" and all mothers should be made aware of it.

It's a huge percentage of babies that are affected, and it's sooo easy to fix.

Just hoping this post will help more people who might be struggling

:)

If it wasn't for MN I don't think I would know about TT! I struggled with feeding DS at first in the hospital and no one checked him for TT. Luckily he doesn't have it and once we got the hang of things we've had no real problems, but you are right that it is not widely known about.
I also had one midwife give DS a bit of formula in the night as he wasn't feeding and she thought he was jaundiced and hypoglycaemic. This was after I'd been on the machine to express some colostrum and he'd had that. The day duty MW was really annoyed when she found out! They were both good and I did need some help so don't want to moan too much but I wish there was some sort of policy so they all sang from the same hymn sheet! I got quite a lot of conflicting advice which wasn't what I needed at the time, as I was exhausted, over emotional and clueless!

Sapphire! Good to see you again - was worried after you disappeared following a rather traumatic thread... How are you now?

What a fabulous story OP :)

Cydonia.. neither would i! I was in AGONY and being told 'the baby has thrush and you have thrush' .. i knew something wasn't right as i had BF DS1 without any problems, and DS2 was trying so hard to feed but it was so painful, i shudder when i think of the times i put him on anyway despite the pain and i felt like such a failure, the pain frustration and everything else.. me and DP rowed about it bc he wasn't supportive although there was another reason for that..another story another time, lol.. I hated DS2 sometimes.. i willed him to sleep bc it was so painful to feed him, of course the poor little mite was hungry so couldn't sleep.. vicious circle.
I did feel angry that when it was finally diagnosed after i went to the docs and mentioned it, everyone was s flippant, a bloody apology would have gone down well. Now i tell everyone if they struggle to BF, check for TT FIRST. DS2 ended up nursing till he was 3, am rather proud of myself :) but it wouldn't have been possible without MN

TWF ! Don't recognise the name have you changed it? Sorry! Thank you for remembering me, i'm fine..may do a thread about it one day when i know it won't negatively affect or exhaust me

can't remember if I was perardua or dreadpirate at that point - lovely to know you're safe though

Thanks :) believe it or not things were really messy after that..lol..BUT am still with that DP nearly four years on, its not been easy, in any way shape or form, but i googled something the other day, clicked on the link and ended up here, decided to re register, in my very selfish 'retreating into my shell' following that very traumatic time i never realised i would be as missed as i was, felt very guilty about the people i had left here wondering what had happened

But very glad to be back! Hopefully what i've been through will make me useful to someone else :)

Oh sorry and yes i believe you were perardua

I can believe things were messy... You ok now?