BF is long-drawn-out at night, impossible during the day; DP losing patience & wants me to FF more - help?

[TaurielTest]

My 7.5 mo DS is BF on cue, with a bottle (that he still seems very much to want) of either EBM or formula at around 1 am, then wakes again at 4ish - at which point he comes into bed with me to feed/doze until 8ish.
Over the last several weeks, he's become almost impossible to feed during the day - crying, pulling off, super-distractable. Even strategies like lying down in a dark room or feeding while expressing the other side (motor noise used to soothe him, and letdown was easier) don't always work. Sometimes if he has refused to feed for hours I offer a bottle of formula (and express) - quite often he rejects that too.
At night I used to feed him off to sleep - this can now take a couple of hours by the end of which I just fall asleep myself rather than spending the evening with my DP. (DP has been v supportive of BF but is worried about DS and about me too, can't really understand why I'm resisting FF.)
I've fought so hard to BF and really hoped we'd be on the home stretch now. Am determined to do whatever I can to continue to 1yr+, but am getting increasingly worried about his apparent hunger, and lack of sleep (his and mine) - and about the effect it's all having on me and DP.
I could really use some advice...

Other things that may be relevant:
we started BLW at 6 months which is going well; he has mild reflux which is managed with ranitidine (but has just thrown up most of his last feed all down my leg); his weight gain is not great (drifted from the 25th centile to below the 9th) but paed's opinion is "he's just a little guy".
BF him is wonderful when it's going well, it just seems that so many feeds lately have become stressful, strung-out experiences that aren't doing either of us much good

sorry you're having such a rough time. So he's hungry, but doesn't want to feed? Is he teething? My DS (only 27 weeks) has been tougher to feed these past couple weeks as his first two teeth came in. Also has a bit of reflux, so we do get that crying and pulling off thing too. we give one bottle a day and that always seems to go down easier than the breastfeed.

Maybe it's just a phase? Hopefully someone will be along with some good advice, but just wanted to lend you some moral support.

That's right, seems hungry but really fights being fed. Today for instance, he wanted to BF at 10.30 but then cried like mad. Had a nap and we tried again at roughly 11.30 and 12.30, same thing. At 1.30 I tried one more time, then gave up and DP gave him 150ml formula, after which he fell asleep. He doesn't seem to want the bottle much either, but I guess finds it harder to resist - we're trying not to force it on him.
He's had a couple of little viral infections and we've been saying 'maybe it's teeth' for a while (no sign of them yet though, and Calpol doesn't seem to help) - but it's been weeks now. I dearly hope it's just a phase and we'll come out of it still BF, but I'm beginning to doubt it.

Thanks Chandellina, I think we may have to add in one bottle a day on top of the bottle that he has at night - it does seem to be easier for him to take. Maybe if he's got some mouth or throat discomfort it's easier not to have to suck so hard? Is your DS any easier now that the teeth have appeared?

Sorry to bump my own post, but can't anyone help? Local BF support isn't until next Tuesday, nobody was in when I tried the BfN support line, feeling a bit desperate - I want to hang in there and not introduce bottles, but don't know if that's the right thing to do.

I'm just wondering if he's feeding so much at night does he need that many feeds during the day? Maybe he's just thirsty?
Is he eating plenty solids? Maybe you should try him on some more foods. I've not done BLW but I still think it counts if you gave him some yoghart and he stuck his fingers in it. Or even better try him with a straw.
On the subject of straws, have you tried different types of cups with ebm?
My dd is pretty small too, she was a big night feeder and didn't eat much during the day.
She gave up bf'ing herself at 18mo, she much prefered a cup so she get on with the important job of destroying the house at the same time.
Am trying remember other ways I got food into dd. I'd blend a banana with ebm and give it to her in a fun cup with a big straw. I also stopped feeding on demand and put a couple of hours in between each feed. It meant she fed properly in the end. That was hard work but it helped.
I really feel for you, I was sad when my dd stopped at 18mo so you must be really sad that your ds may stop at 7mo.
Good Luck

have you tried calling La Leche League - there is a 24 hour line, I believe.

The problem with adding another bottle is it's just going to undermine your BFing. I am not anti-FF but it's not going to help BFing, which you want to continue.

But, that said, i'm pretty sure at 7.5 months you could have two bottles and still have the rest BFing.

Also wonder if maybe something is going on with the reflux - maybe he is having acid come back up his throat in spite of the medication?

They can teethe for ages too, so even if you can't see it, he could be in pain.

My guy is still in teething pain, though the second one seems to have just cut through.

where is TikTok? we need you over here!

kellymom has info sorry no time to say more, but it is commmon. will be ok,

Thanks ladies. Have looked at the kellymom info before - this doesn't seem to quite fit the bill of either nursing strike or reverse cycling, but there's still some ideas there that I can try.
Good idea about the reflux meds too, he might need the dose altering.
Re cups, he's only just learning how to use one really, mostly pours water down his front so I'm not risking my precious EBM in one yet! He does try a range of complementary foods including yoghurt, but I reckon he still needs mostly milk at this stage.
Will keep LLL number up my sleeve. Hoping tiktok, hunker and other Mumsnet mavens will have more suggestions for me...