"You can't force a toddler to breastfeed"

[PrettyCandles]

No, you can't. But I find myself encouraging 2yo ds2 to feed, even persuading him sometimes, and I begin to wonder whether I'm feeding him for himself or for myself.

I enjoy feeding him now more than I ever enjoyed feeding him as a tiny baby. And I think I'm enjoying the intimacy with ds more than with dh.

Oh I don't know what to do.

How can such opposite opinions both be so true and right?!

Crokky, what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me, particularly re hormones and reconnecting with dh. I'm not hurt or offended by you saying that something's not right with the bfing, because if I wasn't feeling that way myself, I wouldn't be posting.

But OTOH, I also agree with the statements that feeding is an easier and more restful way of getting the physical contact that I need, rather than the giving-giving-giving that is day-to-day motherhood.

There's a difference between 'sensual' and 'sexual', and I definitely don't feel sexual when I bf ds2. But then I rarely feel sexual these days. Possibly related to bfing hormones - though are they still that significant at this stage? - but more likely related to chronic tiredness and stress. Another reason why I crave the comfort of bfing.

I've got 2 older dcs as well, and I'm sure that fact that ds2 will be our last is also influencing me.

Also ds2 is dairy intolerant, which may or may not be an excuse.

the emotional/hormonal side of bf is very complex, and when I am tired and stressed I would rather nurse DD2 than be intimate with DP, nursing is a calming thing whereas a even a cuddle with DP has the potential to become something else, and a lot of the time I simpley don't have the energy!

If your DS is dairy intolerant then continued nursing is good for him, DD2 is also dairy intolerant and it's very reassuring to know that she's getting her "pint a day" from me.