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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

18 weeks and deteriorating nights - habit or hunger???

27 replies

TooMuchTV · 30/01/2009 10:36

Hope someone can advise - ds is 18 weeks and still exclusively bf. Before Christmas he was only waking once in the night about 3 or 4am. Over the last month he has been waking more and more frequently feeding every 2-3 hours through the night (and about every 3 hours in the day too.

The hv suggested I go to the GP as he has dropped on the centiles (98th to below 50th) but I think this is a red herring - he has gained 4-5 oz per week steadily.

Are the increasing night feeds a sign that my supply is insufficient (if so how can I increase it?) or is he just waking out of habit? He ends up in our bed every night becasue I am just too knackered to get up to feed him but then I sleep really badly.

He won't feed more frequently in the day - I was thinking it might even be the case that he is feeding too frequently in the day and just "snacking" - should I try to stretch the gaps between feeds in the hope he feeds for longer? I know there is a four month growth spurt but this has been getting worse over the last month and I'm not going to make it to 26 weeks at this rate...

OP posts:

IAteMakkaPakka · 30/01/2009 10:49

To me that's pretty normal, sorry. I doubt your supply is insufficient if he is gaining weight, but if you are worried about it then it is important that you let him feed as frequently as he wants because that's what will maintain your supply. It may be a combo of growth spurt, development (is he getting towards sitting up by himself?) etc. I wouldn't bother with stretching out the daytime feeds, partly due to the hassle and partly because it probably won't make a difference to his sleep (IMO).

If it helps, I took mine into bed with us and found it hard to sleep too, but I pushed the bed against the wall and then he either slept between my pillow and the wall (all gaps stuffed with towels etc) or between mine and DP's pillows. That way he didn't sleep latched on all night and I could get some better rest (I sleep on my front normally so found lying on my side really uncomfy). The book "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is probably the only sleep book I found even vaguely useful and it really helped me cope with the night feeds and cosleeping.

Don't know if that is even vaguely useful but I do remember this stage being particularly hard because you are so chronically knackered and yet everyone seems to have forgotten that you have a tiny baby and so you don't get nearly as much special treatment as you do when they're new. Never be shy to remind family and friends that you can use offers of help so you can get a rest

bearhug · 30/01/2009 11:40

I'm afraid this is what they do. Mine certainly did. Got me thinking I'd cracked it (sleep from midnight til 6 AM? Yay!) and then started waking again every 2 or 3 hours. Grrr.

Elizabeth Pantley's book is certainly useful for reminding you what is normal behaviour for a baby. Accepting that babies do what babies do is the best way to stay sane I find.

Original poster

TooMuchTV · 30/01/2009 11:55

oh dear... how long does is this likely to go on for?

Have just been onto my local library website and reserved that book - sounds good.

OP posts:

AnnVan · 30/01/2009 12:22

TMT god I'm in the same place as you. DS Is 19 weeks, and the nights are really getting me down now. He wakes up, feeds, stays awake for 2-4 hours, feeding several times in that period, sleeps for another hour or two wakes again. I only got to sleep sometime after 5.30 this morning, and then awake again at 8.20.

Original poster

TooMuchTV · 30/01/2009 12:26

AnnVan poor you - it is so hard in the middle of the night isn't it. Ds does actually fall asleep reasonably easily after a feed if (and only if) he is in our bed and I don't foolishly attempt to move him to his cot. Not so easy for me to sleep though... I also have a 2 year old who is a good sleeper so I'm trying to keep ds quiet so she doesn't get woken up by us.

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AnnVan · 30/01/2009 12:35

DS doesn't do cosleeping. THe times I've tried bringing him into our bed he's screamed the place down. And I can't do it with DP being a tit about being woken up

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/01/2009 12:52

I was in exactly this position with DS. It is worse than having a newborn, partly as MakkaPakka says because people forget to be helpful, but you've also lost all those hormones and the adrenaline that keeps you going through the first weeks.

Hang in there - it will be a tough time until you can wean him at 26 weeks. We started on some fruit and veg at 24 weeks and it made bugger all difference to his sleep - with hindsight we should have waited until 26 weeks. His sleep is now improving again now that he's having all kinds of solids - DS is 27.5 weeks.

Original poster

TooMuchTV · 01/02/2009 11:42

every hour and a half last night - has to be a snacking habit but don't want him to scream and wake dd

OP posts:

IAteMakkaPakka · 01/02/2009 19:18

I don't think it is a "snacking habit", TMTV. I don't think there is such a thing when they're little, really. Not in my (limited!) experience anyway. It will pass though - it's just that time goes soooo sloooowly when they're like this, it feels like an eternity.

Anyone around to give you some daytime rest?

fledtoscotland · 01/02/2009 19:29

TMT - can we start a club? DS2 is 23 weeks and has also turned from a sleepmonster into a screaming boob monster who feeds (snacks) pretty much constantly from 11pm til 6am when he has the nerve to yawn loads and roll over before going to sleep for 2hrs this wouldnt be too bad but we get up with DS1 at about 6.30am and DH goes to work at 7.15am.

sleep deprivation is not fun. He's definitely not ready for weaning as we are going to BLW and have sat him in his highchair with baby rice cakes and all he does is play with them.

I have started going to bed at 9pm so at least i get a couple of hours kip.

iamaLeafontheWind · 01/02/2009 19:40

Growth spurt! just got through this & it lasts a good few weeks, but does calm down again. I think it's something to do with their development too as DD seemed to be able to do so much more afterwards (or maybe I'm just madly justifying through the sleep haze).

Maria2007 · 01/02/2009 19:42

Hi,

I had the exact same experience with my DS around that time. He slept relatively ok (although not great) until about 3 months & then all hell broke loose. He would wake all the time at night, & eat very little in the day. I think you'll find that many people say this is normal behaviour for that age... but there are things you can do to perhaps help the situation (it doesn't mean they'll necessarily work... but it's worth trying some of them).

In your case, you say your DS is eating 3-hourly in the day? What I would do- because it sounds as if he wakes out of hunger at night- is try try try to encourage him to feed more & longer in the day. So, for example, you can do a bit of expressing first thing in the morning & give him an EBM top-up before his nap. Or give him brief 'snack' bf before naps (on top of his normal feeds). I found expressing very helpful to increase my supply in the day, because I found that DS was feeding more at night than during the day (this happens often at this age as they get distracted). I would also second the idea of finding some help if you can to get some rest during the day. As for the co-sleeping: it does help (we still co-sleep too) but you have to be careful that he is awake enough to feed thoroughly when he wakes in the night (as much as you can control this, of course). I found with my DS that he would bf half-asleep (often lying down, as I was knackered) & thus wouldn't take nearly enough, & then would wake 1-2 hours later for a further feed. Again, many people will say this is normal behaviour for babies that age, and it may well be, but it sure is knackering, and in my book anything that helps an exhausted mummy is a good thing.

Hope this helps a bit?

Original poster

TooMuchTV · 03/02/2009 11:40

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions - I am going to try expressing again and see if he will take a top-up (he is a bit unreliable about taking bottles - will occasionally down one but mostly refuses and I have to pour my lovingly expressed milk down the sink )

OP posts:

SnowlightMcKenzie · 03/02/2009 15:11

There have been other such 'clubs' on MN in the past.

You're going through the 4-5 month regression to newborn hell.

Your strategy for dealing with it? - Well you survived the early weeks didn't you.

Give up life for a short time, sleep in shifts and feed feed feed.

Good luck. It is a phase and it will pass.

IAteMakkaPakka · 03/02/2009 21:30

Snowlight speaks the truth

TMTV, to avoid wastage, try freezing it in tiny quantities in storage bags (Boots used to do Lansinoh ones) and only defrosting what is needed. Also, at that age DS took a cup with help (he never accepted a bottle) but would also sip from a beaker, so those might be things worth trying.

Anglepoise · 04/02/2009 12:24

No help but you have my sympathies - DD is 18 weeks, was sleeping through, now waking every 2-3 hours on a good night, but also currently has a cold, so it's every 30 min to an hour at the moment

I can't remember the early weeks being this bad!

LeonieSoSleepy · 04/02/2009 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

KingRolo · 04/02/2009 14:21

No advice, I'm in exactly the same situation. I'm finding it much harder now than when I was dealing with a newborn.

It's funny that when you're struggling in those first 3 or 4 weeks everyone says it will pass and things will get better. They are lying! It doesn't get easier. I was talking to the HV this morning and she said that it will only get easier when dd is 18 and has left home!

Anglepoise · 04/02/2009 14:24

For us, things did get better ... but then they got much, much worse!

I am avoiding the sleep forum because just reading the thread titles is depressing - at least this way I can keep fooling myself

KingRolo · 04/02/2009 14:49

Anglepoise, good idea to avoid sleep forum. There's a thread on there about a two year old who has never slept through.

The only way to keep sane is to think that tonight will be the night she sleeps through (or in my case goes more than 2 hours)and to get some sleep in the day wherever possible!

Anglepoise · 04/02/2009 18:35

Yep, that's exactly the kind of thing I'm keeping clear of!

Every night I think "God it would be fab if tonight she slept through" - I've had a stinking cold for weeks and not sleeping really isn't helping - and it just keeps getting worse and worse (last night she was up about three times before 5.30 am and then every 15 minutes or so after that - think it might be the worst yet for us).

Skimty · 04/02/2009 19:21

DD 19 weeks and doing same.

i wish it were a newborn regression - her sleep was better then!

SnowlightMcKenzie · 04/02/2009 22:41

The problem is I think, that things start to get better from the newborn stage, and you start to get a bit hopeful and a very little bit of life back (what I mean by that is you no longer have to bf on the loo). You MAY have even began to get yourself and your baby into some sort of a routine and then the 4-5 thing hits and it's a shock and a very big knock.

The novelty of having a newborn has worn off, and you have already had 4-5 months of sleep deprivation stacking against you. All your hardwork until now feels like a waste.....

BUT I promise, it is normal and it will pass and your baby WILL sleep through the night one day.

Original poster

TooMuchTV · 05/02/2009 12:45

Up from 11.30 to 3.30 last night then fell asleep with ds cradled in one arm in bed with me - very uncomfortable. Woke up again at 5.30 and up for the day In the early stages of last night ds would fall asleep happily in my arms but if I so much as moved near the cot he started tensing and crying. Annoyingly becasue he has a bit of a cold he was struggling to feed so I couldn't just feed him to sleep like I normally do

OP posts:

SnowlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2009 16:54

Okay, - so that is one less night you have to endure during this 'phase'!!!

sympathies

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