My DP says I have a "tit fetish" because I dont want to stop BF my 11 month old......

[kidcreoleandthecoconuts]

My DP doesnt understand why I would want to still BF my 11 month old DD. He says I'm not giving her enough as she still wakes in the night for a feed and that I should put her on to cows milk.

I came into the kitchen this afternoon to find DD in her high chair with a cup of cows milk . I told DP I dont want her to have cows milk as a substitute for my milk. He said , " Well I know what milk I'd prefer to drink!" He also said, " She's enjoying it...it's nice and creamy isnt it , not all horrible and watery like mummys milk."

Why??? Aaarrggghhh!! I feel like bloody screaming. I know he's being a dick and that I'm in the right but why this attitude?

I dont understand. Sorry I just had to have a rant at people who dont think I have a " tit fetish" ...his words btw.

your dp sounds, to put it mildly, rather childish.

tit fetish?

for pity's sake.

so why is he being a dick? does he feel left out - are you devoted to your child in a way that excludes him?

tbh i don't understand why people breastfeed at 11 months either

He is being a total knob. Babies not supposed to have cows milk as main drink until after 12 mo. They are guidelines so presumably he wont ignore that?

Nothing wrong with feeding 11mo, and as for slagging off your BM in front of DD, I know she doesn't understand, but that's horrible.

for you

He is being an arse - but you know that already.

Could some of this attitude be from his family or friends?

If it's any consolation, I got home from work to find DD (10 months) being fed a chocolate lolly by XP and XPIL. I am not precious, but she has never really had chocolate, so to get a big bit just before bed is a bit

Custardo what is the point of switching to formula at 11 months, which is a right faff, when you might as well go on for another month and switch straight to cows milk?

Seems like a waste of effort to me...

err, custardo, because it's the best thing for them maybe??

Next time he scratches his bits do ask him if he has his own fetish...

Silly arse.

It just makes me want to feed her even longer IYKWIM. I think that he believes that there are no benefits to me doing it now. He was very supportive of it when DD was very small.
Custardo- why dont you understand it?

it sounds to me like he enjoys winding you up as well though, with all the "she's enjoying it etc etc"
he just wants to get a reaction from you?

next time he says anything I'd tell him to grow up and then just ignore him

He's jealous, obviously. Dh readily admits that he wishes he could have the experience of bf, but he's adult enough to recognise that that means it's something good, not bad.

Cows milk is designed for baby cows; human milk is designed for baby humans.

I find it hard to understand why so many people are so fixated on the importance of giving children cows milk when, quite clearly, there's nothing "natural" about them drinking it. (And, btw, no I'm not a vegan).

I never "expected" to be a long-term breast-feeder (although I managed up to around 2 years for all of mine) - when it came to it, I couldn't see the point in stopping. Not when it had finally become easy (after a very difficult start the first time round).

Sounds like your dh is being a bit of a prat - but sadly, he's not alone in his attitudes. It's a shamne so many people have difficulty in coming to terms with the normal, natural way to feed babies and toddlers. What a warped society, huh?

It would be mighty foolish to pay for something you make better yourself for free.
I wouldn't be talking to him for some time if my DH criticised me that way, you poor thing.
Is he aware of all the facts? Men are often happy to leave a lot of baby stuff to us, until the MIL starts sticking her nose in.

I would have gone MENTAL for you.

Apart from anything else for health reasons cows milk isn't recommended as a drink til 12 months. Does he not know this?

actually, one cup of cow's milk isn't going to harm an 11 month old.
it should not be used as a main drink, under a year, although arguably if baby is having a good diet of solids then it would be ok at 11 months.

one cup of cow's milk isn't going to harm her. but that's not really the issue here I don't think

He is being a prick. But you know that.

I am assuming he's not the type who would take an interest in being shown any of the evidence about health in breastfed toddlers?

You have my sympathy.

Also, I'm surprised by your post Custardo.

Will he read up on bf? Is he being pressured by his mum?

Yeah you must have a 'tit' fetish, your dp being a 'big tit' and all

Sounds like he's jealous and wants his boobs back. He'll just have to wait.

Except they are not "his" boobs! They are the OP's boobs. Lets stop perpetuating this horrible idea that a woman's breasts somehow belong to her male partner.

It struck me that maybe it is jealousy and the OP's DP is wanting to have her boobs all to himself again.

Agree dramasequalzero that they are not "his" boobs! However, jealousy doesn't always come with a logic function built in. I agree that he is behaving pretty appaulingly.

In my case personally (I realise this wouldn't be the same for everyone), when I was breastfeeding, my breasts stopped being a sexual thing because they were what I fed DD with (I fed up her up to 22 months). In fact, through the whole process of having a baby and breastfeeding, my whole body felt more functional than sexual for a long, long time. I think it affected how DH saw me sexually too, which perpetuated the way I felt about my body.

However, luckily DH was supportive of me BF - and it wasn't forever. I am really glad I had the chance to BF DD for as long as I did. My body image did change back to how I felt pre-childbirth.

FWIW - I would have gone ballistic in the OP's position. Totally disrespecful of her DP IMO.

He does sound jealous.
I think you are doing really well, keep going for as long as you feel is right, don't let him or anyone else put you off..

Yes, why don't you understand custardo?