Has anyone experienced a nursing strike?

[almama]

I started another thread about how my dd (12mo) suddenly stopped breastfeeding. The response was that it is a nursing strike. I've read the links and am following advice (keep offering, act casual, lots of skin to skin contact, express). I really want to stay positive.

It has now been 5 days and she still has no interest in it. She hasn't breastfeed once in this time. I thought it was because she was poorly, but today she was completely fine and still wouldn't!

Could anyone reassure me? I am really not ready to stop breastfeeding and I'm starting to feel really upset and worried. She is extremely bright and strong-willed, so I keep thinking maybe she has decided she doesn't want to bf anymore. I was planning to continue to around 2yrs or so.

I can't believe how sad this is making me. Is it normal to feel rejected and emotional?

almama yes i would say it is very normal to feel that way
feeding your baby is bound up with love and affection and her rejection of that is going to be hard for you
plus your hormones will be all over the place if she has stopped suddenly

have you tried feeding as she is dropping off to sleep or while actually asleep? in the bath? in a sling? in the dark?

i did have a nursing strike with ds1 and found it terribly upsetting so i really do sympathise. he did resume and carried on for longer than i like to admit

in the short term you could keep expressing and hope she may change her mind? i wish you luck with it

You have my utmost sympathy it is a complete nightmare isn't it?
DS is only 8mo but has had two strikes already - both "only" 4 days long so less the you you poor thing.
I felt utterly rejected, especially the first time. What made it worse for us is that DS feeds to sleep so I was having to hold him screaming for up to 3 hrs until he exhausted himself when all the time I knew a feed would settle him...but there was no way he was taking it.

The only consolation is that both times he did go from complete refusal to complete acceptance straightaway - ie as soon as he went back to the breast that was the end of it.

Hang on in there!

PS Not to make you feel totally downhearted but when I was googling during our strike I found the blog of someone who came through a 40 day strike!!!! I would definitely have collapsed in a gibbering heap given up by then!

Thank you so much for your messages!

I hadn't even considered the hormonal effect, that makes a lot of sense. I'm feeling a mixture of rejection, sensitivity and slight insanity (sort of like PMT). I didn't go to my usual mums&babies group because I was worried I would feel too jealous watching everyone bf! Or worse, that I would have an uncontrollable urge to bf one of their babies!

How long did yours last FandZ?

wuglet - I did see that 40 day story. . I couldn't bring myself to read it. I don't even want to think about it!

I have tried in the bath, when drowsy, in the dark.. none of it worked, but I'll keep trying. I am going to hope that tomorrow she starts again as if nothing happened.

It's really heartbreaking, isn't it? dd did it once - lasted 48 hours and it was horrific. She was 8 months old, and wouldn't even look at me, just kept screeching and pulling away from me. I was in pieces and poor dh was frantically googling trying to come up with useful advice.

In the end (and I'm not saying this will work for you) I stripped her down to her nappy, got into bed naked, and we slept side by side until she stirred in the night when I pulled her towards me and she fed while half asleep. She must have been starving because she was barely eating solids at the time, and wouldn't take a bottle.

I hope for you it passes soon.

It'll be a week tomorrow morning, and still nothing. She hasn't gone on the breast once since then.

I've been doing lots of skin-to-skin, trying when she is drowsy or sleeping, etc.

She is showing the occasional interest, but each time all she ends up doing is biting really hard. I am torn about what to do. Normally if she bites, I would say "NO", and take her off. But, since I am so desperate to get her on, I can't bring myself to be stern.

Also, my supply seems to be going down rapidly. I'm pumping less than 1/2 of what I was when she stopped last week.

Has anyone else had this for more than a week? The only stories I could find were a few days, or 40!! I don't want to focus on the 40!!

Oh bless

Nothing more helpful to add but sending latching thoughts your way.

Supply will catch up when (not going to write "if") she starts feeding again, you are doing all you can by expressing so at least there will be something to come back to.

I'm bumping just to see if anyone else can add anything.

Still nothing. I've been doing tons of skin-to-skin, which isn't easy with a super active 1 year old. Plus, trying when she's drifting off to sleep, in the bath, when she's asleep, etc. I've spoken to a bfc and rung the bf support helpline. Bfc advised me to pump 5min each breast every hour for 4 hours, to try to boost my supply - so that I have a good amount of ebm to give her. I did that today and I am seeing a difference. She had no added advice on what I could do to encourage dd to nurse (those KellyMom links were fab). Nor could she say how long it could last, which I didn't find encouraging. I'm supposed to speak to her again next week.

I miss breastfeeding dd so much, and I'm starting to feel a real hormone crash as well - moody, a bit teary, irritable. The one good thing is that my gorgeous dd is delightfully happy. I know that is what counts, but I wish she would be happy AND bf!!

Sorry, not sure I can add anything of help:

DS went on strike at about 7 months, after a nasty bout of Hand, Foot and Mouth which gave him a very sore throat (I know how sore because I got it too and could hardly bear to eat ice cream, let alone anything else!). He started screaming furiously every time I got him into position to feed, even after his throat got better. It was easier to feed him while he was distracted - sitting up playing, for instance. I expressed and gave him bits of milk in a bottle, sippy cup and doidy cup. Not much went in. I then cancelled everything and spent a day in bed or on the floor with him, basically topless and letting him approach me. Finally, the way he started again was sitting upright on my lap. It took a few days of caution and occasional paddies, and then he went back into it with enthusiasm.

I really hope your DD decides she wants to nurse again - good luck!

We had a nursing strike of a couple of days when I screamed after a particularly nasty bite

Again we had lots of skin-to-skin and rather than offer the breast I just made it available. I found when I offered if he didn't want it he would bite and that would make me stressed and tense, making him stressed and tense. His first feed after the strike was when he woke up at about 5am one morning and I went in to him topless and he latched on himself. I think a lot of it was that I was much less tense tbh.

was going to ask how things were going but obv not great

FWIW our first strike ended with a morning feed - ie he woke up and latched on.

Second one I randomly decided to try to latch him on whilst at a friends house (4 toddlers running around and one other baby). I don't nurse him in public usually (he is sooo distractable) so possibly the novelty factor?

I do understand how OP is feeling, honest, but I also feel a bit envious. I had to forcibly wean mine (I just wasn't happy to keep breastfeeding) between the ages of 16-23 months. They were all unhappy about it, which in turn made me rather unhappy, too.

I'm not saying OP should feel relieved she didn't have to make her DD stop, but if the DD never does start again, almama might get some consolation out of knowing that at least it was her baby's preference.

Mine started refusing at 9 weeks and we never fully restored breastfeeding. At 3 months I nearly went insane. But I worked out a system: I sort of dreamfed him - fed him upon waking, before he was fully awake at 4 and 5 months, but by 6 months he copped on and I had to rely on pumping and mix feeding - even then he was taking in so little milk. At 7 months I stopped breastfeeding and put him on Neocate and noticed a difference almost immediately even though I'd been off dairy. And now, finally, I have a baby who drinks milk.

I really emphathise - that was the closest I've come to hitting the happy pills. It's such a huge thing, the need to feed your baby, the closeness that breastfeeding provides. I'll be cheering you on.

I meant to add that the only time that my DS would reliably feed was at night. It's too horrible to even suggest night feeding if your baby sleeps through the night, but maybe just wake her a little earlier in the morning? That said, mornings never worked for mine...

Any breakthrough yet [hopeful]

Oh, wuglet, thank you so much for asking. I wish I could say yes.

Everyone on here has been so supportive, and I've been taking pointers from your own experiences. I'm trying to be very relaxed and don't offer as much as make available. Also, trying early morning before she is fully awake.

Yesterday I thought for a second I was going to have a breakthrough. We were in the bath and suddenly she pointed to my boob and said "Wassat?" I offered it to her and she lunged with her mouth... and bit so hard I have 4 distinct scabs were her 4 front teeth embedded themselves. (she's entered a biting phase). I didn't even yelp because I hoped somehow she would switch to a latch. No luck, she dislodged herself and went back to playing with her bath toys!

Today I spent the entire day in the front room with dd, cuddling, playing, paying major attention, like Mamahobgoblin mentioned. Still nothing. She's just not interested!

I think that a major issue for me is that I keep reading babies do not self-wean earlier than 18-24 months. LLL says that, all the experts on this site seem to say that. And, I read that if a mum says that happened, it must be because the mum didn't deal with a nursing strike properly or the mum secretly wanted the baby to wean. see this for example

Therefore I think, I trust the bf experts, so it must just be a strike, and it will pass. But meanwhile, I'm trying everything I can, and she doesn't even take a bottle or dummy, but just won't come back to the breast. I'm worrying myself silly that if she never comes back, it must be my fault.

Today a mum-friend of mine said something similar to what peanutbutterkid wrote. If this is the end, then at least dd hasn't been upset about it at all. I guess I have to focus on that and not on the self-blaming.

Sorry, such a long post. Feeling thinking about it.

My dd stopped bf at 9-10 months, i had exclusively fed her, she gradually weaned herself, i had no idea as to how long she would feed, i just went with it iyswim, i wish now she would have bf for longer but i did'nt really think about it at the time.

well my dd had a weekend long nursing strike and I was horribly upset-I am sure part of that was a hormonal response,I was tearful and even shaky.With her it was teething related and it sounds the same with your dd,the biting is the thing that is suggesting that to me.Perhaps her ears are sore.My dd eventually did just latch on briefly,and then later latched on properly.strangely this happened within an hour of me giving her a homoeopathic teething remedy called "infants teething pains"by NEW ERA.Keep persisting and trying a lot when she's asleep,good luck!

Almama - not a BF expert, but please don't get hung up on the self-weaning age thing? We all know babies walk to their own schedule and talk to their own schedule and that's anything between 6 months and 2.5 years - why should weaning be the one thing which always stays within the developmental norm?

And as I recall, LLL also deny that proper BFing can ever hurt, so I always took their advice with a hefty pinch of low-sodium salt

Hope you work it out. xx

Almama, what's there to blame yourself for? You sound like a lovely mum, doing the best you can (same as nearly all the rest of us). You're only human; this parenting lark is hard, none of us gets it perfect.

Think of the women who want to breastfeed but it goes disasterously wrong -- they end up bottlefeeding from very early on even though they never wanted to. That's something else you might find consoling, some mums don't get half as far as you did.

Owwwwwww. My nips are cringing in sympathy!

"If she never comes back it must be my fault".

I am going to appoint myself fault-finder general here and override anything else you google or hear. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

So there.

Last bump I promise.

Wondering how things turned out?

Just wanted to add something on how long a strike can last. My ds went on strike at 8 weeks and refused to feed when awake after that. I would have to feed him when he was dropping off, or if that didn't work when he was solidly asleep. Usually though, he then only fed a little and had a crappy latch.

This went on until he was 6 months without getting any better, and I swear it nearly killed me, and then suddenly at 6 months, he started feeding awake again. I have no idea what changed but I am glad that I persevered. So it may take a while, but it is possible that it may suddenly get better.

Hi Wuglet,

You are really lovely always remembering to check in! I wish I could report good news... but it's the same story over here.

By now I am starting to lose hope that she will ever bf again. My dp and I discussed it, and we decided that I would continue to express for another 3 weeks (which will make 6 weeks total) and if she still hasn't come back to the breast I am going to give up and assume she has weaned. I think that is a good amount of time, just over 40 days!

In fact, tonight I tried something I read in the 40-day nursing strike blog. I put one of dd's puppets on my boob to demonstrate how to bf . DD thought it was hilarious (it was), and kept getting me to do it again - but it didn't prompt her to bf when it was 'her turn'.

I still miss it so much I can't believe it. I was chatting with a friend about her plan to bf until her dd is at least 2 years. That was my plan too, and it made me really sad talking about it.

...At the same time, I feel like I have become a minor expert on nursing strikes, and nothing seems to work with her!! She is a pretty bright and headstrong thing. I suppose this is the first of many times when she will assert herself and I'll just have to live with the consequences!

Please do keep bumping... it really makes me feel better Maybe one time there will be good news!

sybilvimes - I posted before I read yours!
That sounds so stressful! I can't believe you had this from 8 weeks. At least my dd is big and eats solids... I think I would have been beside myself if I had been in your situation!!

what were you doing in the meantime? I mean to coax him back to the breast?

Anyway, it is really good to hear stories of babies changing their minds about striking after long periods of time. Thanks so much for the info.

Seeing as you said I could - any breakthrough?

I will be and if there has been.

Even if not it really does seem as though you did absolutely everything you could.