Please help me carry on EBF until 26 weeks - I am beyond exhausted,

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

I would be so grateful of any advice or words of encouragement or just a plain "its realy hard isnt it".

DD is 20 weeks. She is a big baby - in 9 - 12 mnth clothes and around 21 pounds in weight (but just as long as well). She has been exclusively breastfed so far but I am exhausted. When she hit 16 weeks she started feeding 2 hourly (she would go 3 or even 4 hours at night before), then dropped it to 1.5 and this last week it has been hourly. I am absolutely exhausted with it.

She will not take a bottle so expressing doesnt work. I dont want to give formula, nor solids (both of which I know wont make her sleep but at least someone else can do it for me). I really want to carry on exclusively breastfeeding til 6 months (will feed for longer after that). I gave DS solids at about 19 weeks as he was feeding the same way - but he was a different baby - could sit up unsupported, feed himself, grabbed your food etc etc. DD shows no signs of being anywhere near ready.

As you can imagine its really tough being so sleep deprived. I have to deal with a hyper toddler too - and to top it off Im trying to finish off the last 6 months of my phd so as soon as they are both in bed I have to start working on that. Everyone around me is shocked I havent given solids or formula and acts like it would solve all my problems. Friends with babies the same age or younger have started solids or give formula for the last feed and it all seems so much easier but I am determined to get to 6 months (Im very stubborn lol).

Anyway -have rambled away here I know but I am so tired and just need to hear that other people managed it and I will survive this!!!

Axxx

Hmmm mine is also a big fatty and EBF until 22 weeks when I started a bottle of formula a day to give myself a break and get her used to the bottle as I am going back to work when she is 7 months. Hasn't made any difference to the sleeping but it is lovely to be able to nip out for a few hours at the weekend or do things alone with DS aged 3. (have never been able to express) We have also started her on solids this weekend (she's now 26 weeks sitting up etcetc)-she has scoffed bits of banana apple roast veg chips etc and screams if I eat anything in front of her now without offering her some, the little porker. I don't think there's much you can do if determined to hold out to 26 weeks except try and get some sleep in the evenings while she sleeps and hope it gets better-sounds like she is self settling well unlike mine. Could you get DH to do the odd expressed bottle at night or will she only get back to sleep with a breastfeed?

I have no advice to offer, as mine is only 3 months old. I just wanted to say you are my heroine - demand feeding mine is killing me, and I don't have a PhD or a toddler to worry about! You sound amazing, and you're almost there, now. 3/4 of the way.

Hi Peppa, I am impressed you have kept going with EBF till now. I really really wanted to, but my ds is 9th percentile and could never sleep for longer than 3 hours so I changed my mind.

I managed ebf until 4 months and after a great deal of agonising every 3rd day or so gave a 5oz bottle of formula at bed time which did help with the weight gain and sleeping. You are in a good position in that you don't have to worry about weight gain so hang in there. This weekend he is 6 months and we're starting the weaning.

I was co-sleeping until last week but realised that ds was hungry and looked exhausted in the mornings and was so dependent on me for comfort unable to be looked after by anyone else. I never really wanted to co-sleep but could only get good let downs that way. But then ds could only self soothe by suckling and it was exhausting him.

Whilst our babies are at opposite ends of the weight charts I think the similarity is that at the same age their needs for more milk increase the co-sleeping waking/demands.
If i had had more confidence in my milk then I would have continued.

I was worried about ds ability to lay down the fat cells because he rarely slept so I tried a sleep training technique a week ago stopping co-sleeping and he now sleeps 10 -12 hours in his cot with only 2 wakings.

Good luck and support going forwards

Peppa you are doing so well - DS had some kind of monster growing from 18 weeks to 26 weeks when we weaned and I didn't get more than a couple of hours sleep at a time in that whole 2 months.
Hang in there - he is now having lunch and dinner and the feeds have really spaced themselves out.

Starlight makes a good point about distractions, DS is a nosey curious little thing and once his immediate hunger is past he wants to turn around and see what's happening - cue me spraying another mum last week . I find that feeding him somewhere quiet improves things, but the biggest help is the nursing necklace that DH bought me because he grabs onto that and it keeps him focused and facing in the right direction.

You are doing so well, just stick with it for a few more weeks and then things will improve

Its like she needs to feed constantly to maintain herself. In the day its easily every hour now,then she has a 3 hour sleep, a 2 hour sleep and then back to 1 to 1.5 hours again. Typically the 3 hour sleep is at 7 pm lol.

Starlight - I do feed her in the dark when she goes to bed and I try and feed her alone. She is actually not that nosey to be honest - more interested in her feeds. DS used to be looking at everything and grabbing onto things (nipples included) and fiddling. For her though its eyes down get on with it lol. Grabs my breast firmly with two hands, stares at it intently and gulps...

LadyG - she wont take a bottle at all unfortunately. I agree with you - I doubt formula would help her sleep at all...but if someone else could just feed her for once! If I just had 5 hours sleep in a row I think I would feel better. I have gallons of extra milk and have thrown ebm away already as she wont drink it.

City - you have done so well! Its hard isnt it when they feed all the time but dont seem to gain a lot of weight (even if thriving in other ways). At least I do have that confidence she isnt doing it because she is starving - but the worry she is feeding too much lol.

I have to say though, thank you everyone for your kind words. It really makes a difference just to know people are out there and understand (rather than the people in real life who think im nuts).

Hi PPHTOML - so impressed that you are still doing the EBFing! Not long til 26wks now!

You're doing so well. Really.

DD was the same, fed every 2 hours day and night for the first 7 months of her life. She was 23lb when the same age as your dd.

I remember the exhaustion but look back with such pride and love. I'm still feeding dd at 20 months and she's still a big milk fan.

Look after yourself, do something nice for yourself often even if it's just buying a book, having a bath, watching a film.

It gets better quickly. And you're so nearly there.

SOH - thank you. did DD stay big for her age? Am getting a bit concerned about DD! Although saying that DS was big (but not as big) and he has gone thin and wiry now at 2.5.

DD is tall so her weight did correlate to her height but because she wasn't moving much she looked like a michelin man. She was just ridiculously chubby, nothing fitted. Once she was on the go it evened out slowly. She is tall that's all. She's on the 99th centile for weight still and her height means that people mistake her for a child a lot older than she is.

Aww, I miss the chubbiness in a way.

SOH - DD is the michelin man too - although again a tall one. DS is the same - just going into 4 - 5 yrsclothes at 2.5 as he is so tall. There is something strangely lovely about her fat rolls!