That's it - I can't do it anymore!

[scrappydappydoo]

DD2 is 11mths and I need to stop breastfeeding - for the past 11 mths I have not had more than 2 hours sleep. she just wants to feed constantly, I can't express, she won't take a bottle or a cup (will only take tiny sips and then wave it about in the air). She will only fall asleep on my boob and will wake up and screech and scream if I try and put her down or stop touching her.
Please do not tell me to see my HV - she is a cow who keeps telling me dds behaviour is unacceptable (well durr) and to do control crying - well we have but she gets in such a state and wakes up dd1 who is a light sleeper and the whole household goes to pot. She does eat food but only a couple of mouthfuls of finger food and refuses to be fed by spoon. I've tried reducing her breast feeds during the day - it makes no difference.
I feel a complete failure. If anyone wants to take her, wean her and then give her back you'd be most welcome...

You are so not a failure - You have exclusively bf for 11 months - Thats fantastic

Weaning her is going to be a challenge but you can do it! No good advice to offer Im sorry but do try to celebrate your achivement thus far

Ahhh - sorry to hear that you have had such a hard time.

Just wanted to warn you that giving up BF will not mean she will stop waking in the night!

By all means go ahead but try not to replace the bf with bottles (what we did with DS1) - he still woke for them.

DS2 still wakes once a night or so at age 2, even though I have "night-weaned" him (ie refused to bf at night).

He just needs a cuddle and then goes back to sleep.

This article is very good here - have a read and see what you think.

I sympathise. I was in your situuation and exclusively bf ds2 until he was 14 months. Like your DD, he hardly ate at all and I had the same attitude from the HV. I recommend you contact LLL. If you are worried about how little she is eating, there is a brilliant book published by LLL which is called "my child won't eat" and I truly recommend it. I am afraid I have no real advice. DS2 self-weaned from the breast at around 20 months, but fed every 2 hours or so through the night until at least 15 months (and I have the wrinkles to prove it!)

Oh yes I should have said that too - Stopping bf will not mean she sleeps better, I found with mine it helped because I could know for certain that they werent hungry, whereas with BF I could never be sure

What do you want to achieve long term?
With mine I have made a list of the problems and then tried to conquer them almost one at a time, with the most important first

Consider whether you want to stop bf now or later and then go from there

You are deffo not a failure

i was going to sugegst "my child won't eat" too!
and also wanted to ditto that even if you wean it doesn't mean baby will stop waking.

I managed to stop feeding ds2 so freqwuently in the night but he STILL wakes up.
we dropped to 2/3 feeds a night at 10 months, and then when I fell pg he stopped nursing so often and so just has a feed at about 4.30/5am

however he still wakes between 2-4 times a night for some comfort and cuddles.

do you co-sleep?

Hi scrappydappydoo.

Just to say that I weaned DD when she was 9 months and it was fine. It was stressful for about a week, but then she really clicked with the bottle. We use Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature with a fast flow teat, and HIPP formula.

It has helped a lot with her sleep (although this is not why I did it - it was more about her refusing to drink from a bottle while at CMs). She still has a bottle at 10pm and usually one at around 3am, but it is a huge improvement - and she goes to sleep at 6.30 and doesn't wake up til 7.30 or 8.

She is still a really happy cuddly baby. I felt awful at the time, but looking back I don't regret weaning her at all.

As others have said, you have done brilliantly to BF up until now - less than 1% of babies are still exclusively BF at 6 months. My HV gave me really good advice - to be proud of the achievement of BF so long, and that it is perfectly ok to consider your own needs too.

TBH, I think DD is happier now, as she is eating and drinking a lot more during the day, so isn't feeling hungry/thirsty when I'm not around.

Good luck!

Thanks - I know stopping bfing won't make her sleep - Dd1 was combined bf and formula - and she didn't sleep thru till 18mths. DD1 was easy - she was bf but she took a bottle and then just switched to cows milk in a sippy cup when she was 1. I thought I was doing the best thing by bfing exclusively this time round but now I don't think so (sorry its just the way I feel right now). Even though sleep is a big factor - I think its the bfing thats getting to me - I can't go anywhere or do anything and dh can't help as I can't express - its just too much after 11mths...
I'll look out for that book..

dustbuster - how did you do it - I mean when did you offer the bottle and how long for??

dont offer a bottle. Just offer a beaker with milk. You are doing brilliantly but its not worth your sanity to keep bf'ing her if you are not comfy/ happy doing so. She will not suffer for being weaned off you (this coming from the avid bf'er).

Have you tried a dummy instead of your boob? It could be comfort sucking..
I couldnt express either so just offer formula/cows milk.
Sorry you are having a crap time of it. YOu need your sleep too though

Echo what others have said - you have done brilliantly to get this far!!

You could try offering cows milk in a sippy cup even if your DD2 hasn't had a bottle. My DD2 would never take a bottle, and would never drink that much formula, but I gave her cow's milk in a beaker at 10.5 months and she's never looked back. She was however a good eater so the milk was more of an optional extra. I just mention because I think some babies never really take to formula but may be better with cow's milk (which has after all not been freeze-dried and rehydrated!)

I've tried both formula and cows milk in both bottles and sippy cups - maybe I need to just pesevere and keep offering that first...

Hi scrappy - I just kept offering the bottle whenever I thought she was hungry. She went through a phase of pushing it away, but eventually she just seemed to realise that this was the new source of milk and went for it.

Perhaps you could try cutting out one daytime feed at a time - just offer her the bottle instead of the breast. She probably won't take much, but it will allow your body time to adjust. I cut out daytime feeds first, then the night feeds. We had a few rough nights, but once she "got it" there was no looking back.

I'm no expert, but I suppose the benefit of a bottle over a sippy cup is that they get the pleasure of sucking.

Looking back, I think I chopped and changed too much, I must have tried about 10 different bottles and cups. I probably just should have picked one and stuck to it!