please help me continue breastfeeding despite horrible 4 month gr. spurt!!

[kookiegoddess]

I'm hating life as a mum at the mo - feeding has been difficult from the beginning with low birthweight, advised top ups, pumping regimes, slow weight gain etc. DD is 17 weeks and we do Bf except one bottle at 10.30pm. She got a cold before xmas and started waking at night, I assumed she was thirsty so was happy to give her as much boob as she needed day and night. Now she is waking 4 or 5 times a night after the 10.30 feed and I don't know if it's hunger or proximity of boob - we're co-sleeping as I couldn't handle re-settling after feeds, took too long - I was awake more than asleep!

She has gotten more alert and curious over past few weeks - expected as she's growing well now - but feeds are harder, she comes off nipple a lot, seems very hungry all the time and sometimes cries during feeds. She is windy and we are seeing osteo to deal with this. have seen BF counsellor and she says latch is fine, lots of milk there etc. Just finding it so hard when we have a "bad" feed and I get extremely pissed off and frustrated - probably because I'm very tired and short tempered. Makes me just want to put her on the bottle so I have a nice full baby who will feed 4 hourly and be more relaxed. I really want to introduce more bottles - maybe at night - but am scared that supply will be so reduced I can't continue - have been scaremongered a bit on MN - "I introduced another bottle and in 2 months my milk dried up" but I know mums have managed just doing morning and eve feed - am scared as I've had worries over supply since very beginning and don't know if additional bottles ie continued mixed feeding will make BF feeds worse vs. just going entirely onto bottles. My feeling is that it's best that she always gets some boob but just don't know what to do and am DESPERATE for more sleep. DD is actually a good baby and never really wakes just to grumble, she always seems hungry when she wakes - but then again, I'm still not sure whether that is because she's been co-sleeping over past few weeks and is used to getting milk immediately. Am so confused and so fed up, pls help!! x KG

Haven't really got any advice for you, but wanted you to know that DD's sleep went haywire at 4 months. The days of waking at 2, 5 and 8 seemed like a dream. We were co-sleeping and at one point she was waking every hour. She screamed and fussed during day feeds and every day was a nightmare.

I can't remember when it started to change, but she's almost six months now and things have been better for the last four weeks or so. Last night she slept from 10:30 to 5!

Some things that may have helped:

Instead of co-sleeping and feeding, I would sit up and feed her. She'd fall asleep after a 10 min feed or be fairly sleepy and could be put back in her crib. Even if she was awake, she'd be full and happy and could get herself back off to sleep. The periods she was asleep started to creep up again.

Infacol. We tried dentenox when she was younger, and it made her very sick at night. She has bad reflux, which is probably why she's off the bottom of the chart in terms of centiles. Infacol before a feed seems to help with the wind, she no longer screams with pain at 4am. She's grown to love the orange taste, she even sucks the dropper!

Routine during the day. I started being more strict about her naps during the day and being more observant about when she naturally got tired.

I hope this helps at all, but you're probably doing most of this anyway. Just to let you know, it really does seem to get better. At 4 months I felt ready to get in my car and drive to the border.

Its so hard when they go through growth spurts isnt it. You must be exhausted but are doing such a fab job!

If its any consolation its likely that she will stop to feed so frequently again soon. The 4 month growth spurt is massive and a killer. It used to be taken as a sign to start weaning but babies do come through it. My DD is now 19 weeks old and has gone back to one feed a night (she has never slept through unfortunately) but from weeks 16 - 19 she pretty much fed every 2 hours through the night (although some nights went longer). She has come out the other end of it though and it settled and happy again.

Co sleeping - it could be she can smell you but I would guess its just her age and the growth spurt. Both my babies have always slept better closer to me. For example if I try and put her down for a nap in the day she will only have 15 minutes - take her to bed with me and she will have 2 hours. Also it is so much easier to feed them that way if they do wake.

Formula also doesnt guarantee that she will sleep through the night or be any easier. Sometimes it can make things worse as it can be harder for them to digest and lead to colic etc. My DS who woke up every 2 hours in the night when he was little started sleeping for 12 hours plus at 6 months without waking but a couple of friends who were exclusively formula feeding had babies who woke up until they were two.

A lot of mums seem to find things get a lot easier at 6 months. I know that seems a life time away now but most probably in a week or so she will settle down again.

Unfortunately introducing formula can lead to your supply reducing. The more you feed, the more milk you make and vice versa. If you replace feeds with formula your body may think you dont need that extra milk and therefore not make it. You then introduce more formula...and it becomes a viscious circle.

In the mean time be gentle with yourself. Is she your only child? Can you sleep in the day? Concentrate on feeding her and relaxing with her? Take her to bed in the day and just feed her and cuddle her.

Im sorry I do not have a miracle cure for you but very much empathise with your situation. You are doing a fantastic job - 17 weeks so far - well done! Maybe take one day at a time and it will most likely get easier again in the next couple of weeks.

xxxx

kookie sending much sympathy your way! We are (touch wood) beginning to come out the other side of the growth spurt - well, we have had one night of 5 hours sleep.

Couple of things I found helped (didn't get me huge gains in the night, but the odd extra 15 mins helps when you're getting that little!):

• offer a feed about 2 hourly during the day, on the advice of another MNer. I think it helped us move towards one slightly longer stretch after only a couple of days of doing that
• Feed in quiet room where possible, minimise talking etc to avoid distraction - DS would pull off and refuse to feed if the TV was on, or someone chatted to me!

I assume co-sleeping isn't making it worse, as presumably sleep has deteriorated, so you know she can stay asleep while co-sleeping.

Also, DS has been having one bottle of formula in the night since about 9 weeks, and he has never gone any longer after it than any other feed. In fact, while he was going through the worst bit of his growth spurt, he would wake within 90 mins of the bottle! The only advantage of it was it meant DP could do a feed, so I got an extra hour's sleep.

16 weeks was crazy here too with DD1 especially. She would only feed in motion or when very sleepy. I fed like a maniac in the day and actually put some effort into settling her for the first part of the night at least in her cot which led to a longer stretch of sleep. Ditto avoiding distractions.

I actually started a bottle with DD1 in desperation but by the time I had established one feed a day, our troubles had passed and we dropped it. With DD2, time went a bit faster and I knew it would pass so stuck with BFing.

Good luck, I really feel for you, your post took me right back.

i totally feel for you and relate. My 5.5 month old is up four or five times between midnight and 7 am and it is killing me. We are also currently giving one bottle of formula at 10:30 or so (DH is up there now) but DS will still wake around 1 am and it just goes on from there. (sometimes only makes it 90 minutes - like hopefully said - even after downing 8 or 9 oz.)

Some days he isn't very interested in feeding, and is distracted, which i know just makes him hungrier at night. But there are also plenty of days where he feeds just as much during the day (roughly every two hours), and is still up all night, so it's all a bit confusing. wish i could say it's a growth spurt but it's been one long growth spurt basically since birth.

As AccidentalMum says, I found that the first time I settled DS in his cot after his evening feed (as opposed to cuddling him to sleep) was the first time we got a decent stretch of sleep since before the growth spurt began. However, if you're co-sleeping it may be too much like hard work to move into a cot as well as cope with the insane feeding!

Thanks for yr responses ladies. I got a bit of sleep in the day yesterday and last night we did the following:

fed at 6pm. down at 7pm

FF 4.5oz at 9.15 pm
FF 4 oz at 11.45 pm
FF 2.5 oz at 1.45am
I pumped for 10 min and got 3.5 oz.
EBM 2.5 oz at 3.45, then she got a bit cross and wanted boob - so put her on for a bit, tried to put her down, no joy, back on boob, tried to put down again, no joy again so back into our bed and fed to sleep. Woke again I think at 6am and 7am but I didn't feel to bad. Am about to put her down for a nap now.

Good to have checked this via bottle as I wanted to be sure she was hungry. Guess I really do have to plough on. Naps are defo not regular - my fault as I find I have to go out and do things/meet people to get thru the day... MAybe have to watch a few movies instead and get naps on track. Also agree with sitting up to do full feed, ensure she is offered both boobs and to put her in her cot. I think they get more that way.

Anyway will be monitoring closely and will offer 2 hourly feeds if I can today, am trying anything now!! just want to get food into her so she can finish spurt. thanks so much, someone should write a book : The Horror: - 4 month growth spurts. a vague mention of spurts and "offering a bit more food" doesn't really do it justice eh?

so glad someone else is experiencing same issues as myself,my DD is 19 weeks this week and after issues with weight loss and being told by HV to offer top ups i have had terrible trouble getting back to EBF!! i feed as often as possible during day but she can be very fussy and cry and pull away, then i try to give her as much as i can for last feed then offer a bottle which my partner gives while i express, in the hope that the following night she will get more from me!! it is shocking during the night when they wake constanlty especially when you have a toddler to get up with in the morning!!! but i take great comfort knowing that you have all been through it and it gives me encouragement to keep going till this phase passes!! (soon hopefully) i have also tried switch nursing during day to increase milk supply.

Kookie, we are all going through this on the oct antenatal thread. Unfortunately it would seem you just have to close your eyes and wait it out.
I am on third child. DDs no problem. Ds nightmare. He is trying my very sanity. Only because of the frequency of feeds and lack of sleep. He is a dream of a baby in every other way.

I wish I could give you a magic potion to make it all better. We are all here, struggling together. It will pass.