So confused... how does this breastfeeding thing work? Which breast first, when to swap etc?

[BarrelOfMonkeys]

I'm getting so much conflicting advice on how I'm supposed to be breastfeeding. Can anyone let me know definitively what I am supposed to do?

• Which breast do I start with, the one I finished on last time, or the opposite breast?

• I've been told to offer the same breast twice, and only switch breasts if baby has been on the same breast for an hour, is this right? Or am I supposed to offer both breasts always?

• I've also been told baby isn't getting enough hindmilk - so how do I get more into her?

I'm so confused about what I'm supposed to be doing and I'm sure my midwife has told me different things on different days... anyone have any answers??

Thanks HensMum. Your post made me cry again - thank you for the sympathy. If I could get to 10 weeks I would feel a bit less rubbish! A colleague is lending me an electric pump tomorrow so we'll see if that makes things easier at all.

StarlightMcKenzie Thanks also. Trying to get to Friday at the moment, which seems more realistic than a week. I'd need to see some sort of fairly dramatic improvement for things to seem better by then, not feeling too hopeful that will happen but you never know.

Baby seems to be snacking at the moment on the breast, its a real struggle to get her to stay on for more than 20 mins, we have to have a big fight to wake her up and keep her interested. Wondering if she is starting to prefer bottles, or if she is just lazy. If we do end up on the antibiotics then we'll be limping on a bit further, but DH back at work on Monday though so lord only knows how I will manage to keep going without him being able to feed me and do the nappy shifts etc! I can't really go out at the moment because I don't get long enough between feeds to get myself and baby ready and out of the door before its time for more feeding! But Monday seems ages away at the moment so we'll cross that bridge as we get to it, somehow.

Thanks also Bubbleymummy.

Barrel, a hug from me

You are a great mum

You are able to decide what is best for your child and I know you will

xx

Hey Barrel, how are things going today?

Thanks Madmouse. Starlight - Who are these women with the 10 min feeds every 3 hours and what did they do to get so lucky?!

HensMum We've survived another night, although the 5am feed was a comedy of errors. Changed the nappy halfway through the breastfeed but more nappy noises occurred just as I started the expressing session, so I left her til I'd finished, having learned from experience that she needs a good 10 mins to decide she's stopped 'producing'. She still managed to wee all over the changing mat mid-change. And throw up - in her ear. So with hair covered in wee and sick in the ear, it seemed easiest to bath her. And of course she then peed all over my pyjamas as I lifted her out of the bath. Carried on regardless with the formula feed, and then downstairs to sterilise everything and she's crying again. DH wakes up to me standing over her in tears saying "what do you want? you're clean, fed, winded, right temperature... please give mummy a break..." DH picks her up - 'maybe she wants a cuddle?' - and of course she goes off immediately. That one hadn't even made my checklist. . This is what it's come down to, I'm completely focused on the functional 'keeping her alive' stuff and forgetting about the emotional side of this new little person.

We did cheat last night and I expressed a feed (moreorless, when added to what I'd got banked in the fridge as the next top-up) and then gave it to DH to deliver so I could get 3 hours straight sleep. Felt much better for it, but still not sure that I can continue with the breastfeeding routine much longer, esp when DH not around to help. To be honest, I am finding the bottle feeds more bonding than the breastfeeding, as at least I can see her eyes and she looks at me while I'm doing it - if I had smaller boobs maybe I'd get a better view with breastfeeding! So, I'm still focused on getting to Friday at the moment and see how things are then. Hanging in there by fingernails... Might see if we feel up to another 48 hour extension at that point. 50/50 at the moment.

On the bright side, her finger infection seems to be improving at least, so I'm very grateful for that, hopefully we can avoid antibiotics at this early stage for her.

That's good! Every day you continue to bf is a win, isn't it?

DP used to be loads better at settling DS than I was in the early days. He could be calmer than I was, all stressed out with feeding, and of course, DS associated me with feeding. And we both forgot really obvious things, like changing DS

Well, we are at Friday. The infected finger is not better, but is improving so we'll carry on with the cream over the weekend, and try and support that with breastfeeding. Last night wasn't great, she had a top up around 1am of 75ml formula and threw half back up, replaced it and she threw up again, but still seemed hungry. Stuck her on the breast where she stayed for an hour, came off still hungry and took 95ml of formula at 3am which stayed down. Clearly not getting much from the boob!

I know volume of expressed milk is a bad guide to supply, but I have just spent 10 mins pumping my left breast for about 10ml if that... which is pretty typical. A totak of 40ml is the best I have managed, and more often it is 20ml. This is 4/5 days in on this routine and I am seeing no difference from the start, except baby is taking more volume in top-ups. A colleague is lending me an electric pump later today so we'll see if that helps.

Oh barrel, what a struggle

I keep on looking for useful things to type but this is way out of my league.I am no expert.

The only thing I remember from expressing (I pumped for three weeks while ds was in scbu) is that pumping for so long is not necessarily a good idea. Have you been advised how long to pump for? If not maybe ask. It is so exhausting

Barrel, I think you will be helped by RL support reassessing your situation. 10 mins pumping on one side is not as good as five minutes in two lots - 'switch expressing' boosts supply. As soon as you get the spurts dwindling to a trickle, swap sides.

Sounds to me that she is getting a lot of formula - a couple of days ago she was getting 60ml top ups, and now you are talking about 75 mls and 95 mls. This increase needs to be part of your reassessment. It may be your midwife suggests topping up at a much lower level, and then putting the baby to the breast again.

It's Friday - a call to the midwife before the weekend is a good idea, I think.

The midwife had advised 10 mins pumping per side, and said to give 60-80ml top ups, but I'll raise that with her tiktok - I've tried whacking baby back on the boob after the formula top up when she's still hungry, but she comes off hungry again, so we ended up on 95ml as that what was left in the formula batch. Just tried calling midwife, but she's on leave til Tues so waiting for a community midwife to call back.

Spoke to midwife who has suggested dropping the breastfeeding in favour of expressing for 30 mins every 4 hours for the next 24 hours to get a feel for whether it is a supply issue or not, and bottle feed baby that - she says 30 mins on one breast, but swap to the other if it feels full. So we'll give that a go...

Barrel - just wanted to say you are doing so well and you should be proud! In fact look at the NCT Reasons To Be Proud poster - it shows you reasons to be proud of breastfeeding your baby for any amount of time at all.

Reasons to be Proud

Barrel this could have been my story 13mths ago - it was one of the hardest times of my life. DD is now 13mths and we're still feeding!! This was due to fabulous support and advice on here, plus real life support at a BFN support group, a lovely lady came to my house from them as well. She also put me in touch with the lactation consultant at our maternity unit and she saw us once a week for a good long while.

You won't get flamed whatever you decide, and I remember all too well, being desparate for a reason to switch to formula, I was fantasising about breaking my leg or something else that invloved a time away from dd so that I'd have to stop feeding. However the one day at a time is the best advice, plus I found I was far too tired to think about bottles etc, so kept thinking oh I'll sort out formula tomorrow....and somehow the days went by and slowly it got better.

If you can, I would try to get to an NCT/LLL/babycafe/BFN meeting, real life support can't be beaten, also try your mat unit?

We went through the "top up" thing as well - I was to give 2oz ebm or formula top up after every feed - I couldn't express more than a dribble, couldn't work out how to make the formula, so chucked it in after a few days and just fed more often. DDs weight picked up and we were all happier.

She was a very slow feeder too, about 40 mins each side and sometimes she would go back for a "3rd"!

You are doing wonderfully well, it will get better!

Sky plus helps, back to back ER got me through a lot!!
Good luck!

No flaming from me either - i'm struggling through bf but for different reasons to you but it means I can empathise what you are going through. I've been beating myself up about the problems i've been having, really i'm my own worst critic, it may be the same for you. Whether bf or formula feeding your baby will turn out just fine.

Thanks, you're all lovely. Dropping the feed at breast in favour of just expressing has improved life temporarily, I managed to get 2 1/2 hours straight sleep which was bliss! Feel almost sane... New electric pump is also sooo much better. (Mini Medela if anyone's interested.)

I've just completed 30 min expressing session #6 which is pretty much my 24 hours, and getting 60-70ml pretty consistently. No idea if that is good, bad or indifferent. Will check in with midwife and see what she says to do next.

Caz10 - Thanks, maybe I need to go wail a bit more at the BFN people. I tried the maternity unit but they are extremely busy at the mo so weren't able to help, just pointed us at the community midwives. The BFN clinic is Monday, we went this week just gone and I may try and get there again, although it's DH's first day back at work and I still haven't managed to get the car seat in without his help yet! Pathetic, I know! Buggy also remains a mystery. I may never leave the house again...

Latest midwife advice is to go back to the feed at breast-express-top up routine - cringe - but she's coming over to see me tomorrow so hopefully that will help. Breastfeeding extended by another 24 hours...

BOM - so glad you got more sleep and that the electric pump is working better for you - hopefully that will make things a bit easier for you.

Go Barrel!
Definitely try and get to a BFN or other meeting. I went to a lovely clinic when I was bfing. Met loads of nice mums who I still see around, and got to sit down and someone brought me a cup of tea! And I didn't have to worry about what happens if DS needed a feed as that was the best place to do it - loads of support and advice on hand, latch could be checked etc.
You will leave the house again. Firt few times you won't have brushed your hair and you'll have sick on you but you'll do it! And it'll get easier.

Hey Barrel just want to let you know I am still following your posts and supporting you all the way!

Haven't read any of the other posts.

Go with the flow and fed unitl your lo is satisfied. You will know

err, walkinthewoods, in this case you should have read the other posts....

ok always willing to be educated

OK have read some posts and yes I thought it was a straight forward question so please excuse me.

My experience, dm TOLD me I had to feed 10mins each side and that's IT (even when dd was an hour old) every 4 hours, just wasn;t right so I didn't do it. She used to feed every hour or so and started to lose weight. I fretted and fretted. She went from 75th to 2nd centile between 3 months and 1 year. Went to all sorts of classes etc. Looking back now it was just one of those things.

DS had tongue tie and I couldn;t get him latched properly although he was still gaining weight! Had the TT done and things gradually improved. He never had weight issues and used to feed every 3 hours. So different from dd!

Everyones experince is different and OP I really hope you get your issues sorted. BF can be hard for so many reasons but the rewards are fantastic. I'm sorry if I caused any offence

Thanks again for the support. We're going to have a chat with the midwife through all options tomorrow and see what she says... not ruling anything out yet but this will be the 7th different midwife to get involved in RL so she may have new ideas...