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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Am I a freak? Did you find it difficult emotionally to stop breast feeding?

34 replies

estobi1 · 15/01/2009 19:31

I stopped breast feeding six months ago (DD is now 15 months old and I stopped due to sharp teeth!) but I have still had a tiny bit of milk left over and I am finding it so hard psychologically to let it dry up completely. On some deep psychological level I guess I must feel that I am not a mother any more if I cant produce milk which is crazy but I am finding it so hard to let go (I would add that my DD is probably my last even though I would love another one and a couple of my friends have newborns).

Did you find it hard to give up? I know that some people feed until their children are 2 but I don't feel that I can even admit this to my nearest and dearest for fear that everyone may think I am a freak. What do you reckon? Am I freak?!!

OP posts:
scorpio1 · 15/01/2009 19:32

No you are not a freak. I have just cut down to twice a day feeding and have cried lots!

AmIDoingThisRight · 15/01/2009 19:36

I completely understand. DS is 11 months old and still feeds 3 times a day or so, but over Christmas I was very ill and was devastated at the possibility of my having to take antibiotics and give up feeding him myself.

In the end, I didn't actually need any antibiotics and still carried on feeding him, though everybody around me thought I was crackers, as could barely walk or lift him; I was so absolutely determined that when I stopped it would be because he wanted to stop, rather than me, if you see what I mean?

Still feeding him now and love it (properly better again, thank goodness) and the thought of stopping makes me really quite sad, as if he doesn't need me as much which I know is barmy!

SparkyFartDust · 15/01/2009 19:41

I found it hard both times.

You are not a freak, but a mum who wants to feed her babies in the way nature intended- and you are lucky enough to be able to do it ...so why not?

policywonk · 15/01/2009 19:41

I think this sounds very normal. BFing promotes the release of oxytocin, which has a powerful positive effect on mood. When you cut down on BFing your oxytocin supply drops, and a lot of women react by becoming sad or emotional (not to mention the psychological implications of leaving your child's babyhood behind). I've been BFing almost constantly for 6+ years , but when I stopped for a brief period before DS2 was born I was extremely upset and irritable.

If you do think that you might want to continue, you could always try to get the feeding re-established.

Notreallycutoutforthis · 15/01/2009 19:43

I stopped 4 and half years ago so I could go back to work (DS wouldn't take a bottle if a breast was around) and I still miss it...

AbricotsSecs · 15/01/2009 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
estobi1 · 15/01/2009 19:56

I don't think I could reestablish feeding from me as nothing would give her more delight than me putting my nipple in her mouth and having a good bite!! She has a lot of teeth!

However, I did express a little bit of milk tonight and was delighted to see that it came more than I thought - I gave it to my DD to drink in a cup and she lapped it up!

However, as I am back at work and everyone thinks that I moved on, I think it would be very difficult to go back.

I couldn't breast feed my first child due to a total misconception about feeding being straightforward and easy so when I managed to feed my second child for nine and a half months I was really proud.

I think I just have PMT now and seeing all of the new babies has made it harder tro accept that my baby isn't a baby any more and that part of our lives has gone.

Thanks for all your support and good luck to all of you weaners! I am going to stop being a neurotic cow and snuggle up with that chocolate bar!

OP posts:
Pannacotta · 15/01/2009 20:05

I found it hard giving up feeding DS1 (he was 2). I also used to express and gave him ebm in a cup, often mixed in with cows or goats milk. I did this for several months, he seemed happy with this and it made me feel happier.
He self weaned when I was pregnant with DS2.

Klaw · 15/01/2009 20:12

Most bf mothers I know feel more sad at giving up than the children do.

I stopped at 15months, when dd was down to just a bed time feed, cos dd didn't bother about a couple of feeds I had to miss for some reason I can't even remember.

I am glad that we came to a natural conclusion but would have liked it if dd had been a bit older....

ThingOne · 15/01/2009 20:28

Not a freak at all. I had to wean my DS2 quickly because of a serious illness. At the time I was (genuinely) more upset at weaning my toddler than my possibly life threatening disease.

I dried up my milk with sage and peppermint tea. Sage for drying up milk and peppermint to cool it all down. There was something else in it to make the sage taste OK.

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 15/01/2009 20:40

I gave up with dd1 the day after her first b'day (mutual agreement)

dd2 is my second (and final)baby and still has night/morning feeds at 17 months. I will definitely be when we have to give it up.

I wonder if it hits some mums harder when they know (as I do) that there are unlikely to be more babies (for whatever reasons)

I hope to continue for a few more months yet.

CantSleepWontSleep · 15/01/2009 20:45

'I know that some people feed until their children are 2' - 2 isn't the cut off you know! Many of us are feeding well beyond that!

AIDTR - you don't have to stop to take antibiotics either - many are perfectly fine to take whilst bf.

lifesaboxochoccies · 15/01/2009 20:54

no your not a freak at all! i cried my eyes out when i stopped bf ds. He was 13 months and he kind of weaned himself off breastmilk and looking back now i was a bit over emotional but it was a very sad thing as it was the closeness i knew i would miss with him but we just made it up with loads of extra cuddles! ds is very cuddly!!!

ilovetochat · 15/01/2009 20:59

i stopped when dd was 17 months just before xmas as she was down to 1 a day and missed a few so i just carried it on, i sobbed my heart out and felt like she wasn't my baby anymore, especially when she asked for it a week or so later but i knew i couldn't go back ad then go through the heartache again. we have lots of cuddles now and she is fine.
last nigt though i dreamed i bf her

beansontoast · 15/01/2009 21:01

if you are a freak then i am too...i dont feel exactly the same as you,but i didnt really want to stop...and cried and cried when i did (but that was prob hormonal)

katsh · 15/01/2009 21:08

I am down to 1 feed a day with my dc3 who is 15 mths. I really don't want to stop but I have quite bad back problems and I know that I won't get my back stable until I've stopped bf and the hormones calm down. And yet despite that I just can't stop! I've missed 1 evening feed but then the next night he asked and I succumbed. I bf my others but I stopped at very fixed points with them and it wasn't hard because of surrounding circumstances. Can those of you who have been in this situation tell me how soon does milk stop if you are maybe only giving 1 bf every few days, or do you simply sustain that level of supply?

hellymelly · 15/01/2009 21:11

I am still feeding dd2 (20 months) but I still feel sad about stopping with dd1 and I know I will find it really sad when I finally stop,especially as I think this is my last baby as I am cracking on a bit .I sympathise!

blueshoes · 15/01/2009 21:12

I am a 'freak' who is still bf-ing my ds 2.3. I am desperate to stop, ds has other ideas. I tried weaning him at 2, but dissolved in tears within minutes, ds was crying so so much at being refused. I felt emotional in a way I had not felt in a long time. Ds will likely be my last child.

Bf-ing is something quite primeval, I think.

PinkFurryStripeyTiger · 15/01/2009 21:16

Not a freak! I have tended to abate this feeling by getting pregnant very quickly afterwards but now DH has said 'No More DCs' I am going to have to grin and bear it when this one has stopped Bfing.

tellnoone · 15/01/2009 21:27

I am a freak too then! I stopped bfing my DD at a similar age and same reason as you. I cried buckets because neither DD or me were actually ready to give it up, it was just too painful to go on.

I also feel sad about stopping with first baby (DS), so stopping with DD brought up all those feelings about DS too - double whammy! Sometimes I feel crazy as a loon. I think if I decide to have any more babies, the urge to breastfeed again will definitely one of reasons!

MadameOvary · 15/01/2009 21:40

I am weeping a bit, reading this. DD is 10 months and I plan to keep going as long as she's happy. Will be gutted when the time comes to stop tho'

MoosieGirl · 15/01/2009 21:43

I cried my heart out both times and felt very guilty and sad. But once the hormones settled and the milk dried up I felt much better.

FairyLightsForever · 15/01/2009 21:47

DD is 21 months and is still feeding several times a day. She could well be my last baby as I am single now and I can't even begin to think about giving up, which is probably good as she's showing no interest in stopping. I was going to feed until 2 and then think about stopping, but her birthday is looming closer and I'm now thinking "maybe by the time she's 3..."

pointydog · 15/01/2009 21:48

You are not a freak. I cried. And I didn't even enjoy it.

madmouse · 15/01/2009 21:48

I was so ready to stop at nearly a year (last week!)

But at his last feed I did not allow him to fall asleep (seemed cruel feed to sleep one night, nothing next)and put him in his cot awake. he cried for a bit and I wanted to run in calling oh my baby my baby and latch him on and feed him to sleep. stopping seemed a bad idea.
But the first night to bed without boobie went so well and it is lovely to have a snuggle until he gets sleepy, put him in his cot awake, have him look at me sleepily and say night night knowing he will sleep through.

But last Sunday in church he was sitting on his daddy's arm (rare treat seeing daddy is the vicar so usually up front)and flirting with his childminder in the pew behind and I felt sooooo jealous

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