15 week old baby feeds more often in night than day - any tips?

[ninja]

DD2 was an angel baby until 9 weeks when she got a cold. Before that she was waking once or twice at night for a feed.

She still is in the day when she self settles, feeds and is generally charming. But nights are getting worse and worse.

She got a cold about 6 weeks ago and was quite disturbed at night. I had no problem feeding her then when she wanted, holding her upright to help her breathe easier etc.

Her cold has gone although she does get a little snuffly at night. However her feeding has not gone back to normal. I sometimes get a 3 hour stretch, last night it was 1 or 2 hours.

I've tried her in the bed (although I'm a terrible co-sleeper, even with DH), but she wakes more often. She does usually end up in bed with me by the end of the night, when i'm too tired to feed sitting up and to resettle her.

Any ideas would be gratefullly received.

Thanks

Bumping for you.

Thanks - seems like no-one has any ideas.

I think I'll just get super strong ear-plugs and attach a pipe from my breasts to her mouth!!

Hi Ninja,

It sounds a bit like a growth spurt so you may have to just go with it for a few days until your milk catches up. Can you try doing a dream feed when you go to bed - ie give her a feed before she wakes up? This might give you a few more hours of uninterrupted sleep....and there's always taking naps during the day with your lo.

Thanks bubbley - I do a dream feed when I go to bed, unfortunately she still woke 2 hours later.

I'll try and hold out for it improving.

No advice but just to say that this is happening to me too at the moment. My heart sinks when i look at the clock and realise that he has only had a couple of hours sleep. I'm exhausted!! Hope it approves for us both soon x

It's probably developmental. Some mums find this a reassuring read.

You must be very tired. I found it took some practice to get good at resting myself while bedsharing. I slept better that way when dh wasn't in the bed too.

Just wondering what you mean by 'self-settle'? Self soothing is a term from psychology and it is used to mean the ability that young children develop to regulate their own emotions/behaviour etc. Specifically it says that they learn this through having their own needs promptly met throughout infancy. Children who are not responded to as promptly take longer to learn to do this themselves and aren't necessarily as good at it. It's a term that's been hijacked by numerous baby 'experts' who have penned books about training babies to sleep better/longer. They usually use it to mean leaving a baby alone to go to sleep. Sometimes this involves leaving them to cry. Unfortunately, this goes against all the aforementioned research.

Ninja are you feeding on both sides during the night? I went through a phase with DS of him waking every couple of hours in the night, he'd feed on one side and drift back to sleep and I'd gratefully put him back in his basket. But then it occurred to me that maybe one side = 2 hrs nutrition and two sides = 3-4? or even 4-5?, I started trying to ensure I was swapping him over, even if he was sleepy and he'd usually latch on and keep on feeding. It helped me.

Don't know what else to suggest.

Thanks for the added replies.

Clairencharlie - I'll think about you when I'm awake tonight!

Grendle - what I mean is that amazingly (and completely differently from my first) she has no problem going to sleep - she occasionally cries a little and I'll go and hold her hand etc. But usually I put her down when she's tired and she sleeps. It's a little miracle each time it happens! I certainly have no intention of leaving her to cry. I do share a bed some of the time, but as I said I'm a VERY restless sleeper and get very achy - I slept with DD1 until 9 months as she was a terrible sleeper. DD2, however, does genuinely seem to sleep better in a cot if I can stay awake long enough to put her back there. If she's really unsettled I keep her in the bed- I agree about lack of husband = more sleep.

Ladybee, I might try that, although she's usually too asleep after one side, maybe I can persuade her.

Thanks again

Thanks for that link too - the being distarcted in the day part is certainly true!

I think that every 2-3hrs at night is not that unusual. I read once that you often produce more milk at night as you are getting rest (although it doesn't feel that way). Some babies are just that way, DS1 always had feeds at 10-11pm, 3pm and 7am from about 2mths until about 9mths, then weaned. But DS2 had me up every 2-3hrs until he was weaned (around 6mths) and is even now (at a year) up once a night for a feed. I have struggled with it but am resigned to just going with the flow for the moment. If you can get your feet up in the day and try to go with it, it might make it a bit more bearable. It is really hard work breastfeeding, which is why it probably has such a poor take up rate in the UK, but it is worthwhile if you can stick with it, and as other posters have said, if it's a developmental stage or a growth spurt, you might find things get easier in a week or two.

Good luck.

PS Doing the maths, she is about 16wks now anyway, which is about the time both of mine went for more feeds at night - I think that's why lots of people wean their kids early - they interpret the more frequent waking as a "set back", assuming that nocturnal breastfeeds will be dropped in a linear fashion. I wouldn't recommend early weaning but perhaps you could express some milk at another time of day and get your OH (assuming you are not having to do this on your own, apologies if so) to let you put in some ear-plugs and have a 4 hr stretch in the first half of the night. (or some such arrangement).

Just passing on my sympathy, am going thru exactly the same thing - she started waking in the night after a cold and now she is up 3 or 4 times for food after the 1030 feed. Very depressing. I struggle to keep BFing every day but am proud to have gotten this far. Have also thought about trying to offer 2 breasts at night but honestly don't think I can stay awake that long... will just carry on co-sleeping till things get better and then I guess will have to do battle with getting her into a cot at night. Sigh.

fingers crossed it passes quickly for all of us with 4month olds...

Do you ever let time drift and not go to bed when you really should because you think basically

'what's the point?'

Hi Starlight I've been promised a cot from a friend which I could do this with - however her 3 year old is STILL in it!!

HOWEVER - she did 6 1/2 hours last night (then 2!!) It could be the baby massage yesterday or the the fact that she was up late as DH per her to bed in inappropriate clothes (long story).

So I hope that this is the beginning of a better patch - but I guess I'm not out of the woods yet.

Thanks again for the replies.

Fab news!

I think you need to cut your losses and buy a cot, or put a shout out on freecycle (I've seen a few there recently), or go to an NCT sale.

Alternatively you can offer to buy the 3yr old a bed on loan until your lo needs it!?

I think the thing is they had their lo in a moses basket until she was six months - so they think that's normal! They're also giving me a wardrobe and chest of drawers from John Lewis to go with the cot

The next doors have lent me a cot/crib which rocks - so that's quite good for settling.

On the ship, Baby Starlight slept on a matress on the floor. When she needed feeding I would lie onthe matress with her and so I didn't need to move her when I stopped feeding so she didn't wake.

I used to do this with dd1, I have to say the good thing about M is that usually she'll settle after the feed - it's jsut me I'm worried about. I'm planning to have a matress next to her cot when I move her into her own room so this is an option tho!

My LO is the same. 4-5 hours sleep when he was a newborn. Had a cold ard 6-7weeks and ever since had terrible sleeping at night. Can be up every hour and on some nights he would sleep 3-4 hrs. He cant go back to sleep on his own so I wouls have to pick him up and rock him to sleep. To save my sanity, i offer my boobs so he can sleep better. No advice here sorry but i am in the same boat. Did your little one's sleep improve? What did you do?