Any tips for BFing a newborn with a toddler to look after as well?

[SwalisWantsaPeacefulChristmas]

I managed to BF DD for 15 months (stopped because I was pg with DC2 and it was so painful). Anyway, I would like to do similar for DC2 and definitely want to BF again but I have no idea how I'm going to cope. How on earth do you cope with a growth spurt or baby wanting to feed when you need to cook your toddler's dinner? And what on earth do I do if DD asks for a feed? Any other tips greatfully received!

TIA

i had a 2 yr gap between mine. We have lots of cbeebies that i gradually managed to wilter down as my newborn got older. My daugther would often snuggle in and read a book as well whilst i was feeding. She used to bf her doll as well and i was very impressed that she would always lift her top up andnot try to feed her doll through her top. She used to say and now she is latched on. She knew all the terms bless her. I was not sure if she would want boobie again as she weaned at 19 mths when i was 4 mths pg but she nevr asked for it again. I am still feeding my son and in the morning she will hold his hand whilst i feed him.

Hi Swali, I have a dd who will be 3 in May and currently breastfeeding 8 week old dd. I had the same concerns as you but it has worked out fine. Yes, dd1 does spend more time watching TV than I would like but otherwise no problems. I breastfed dd1 til she was nearly a year old but obviously she is too young to remember. I tried to explain to her about breastfeeding before dd2 was born because she thought babies only drank bottles. She really didn't grasp the concept until I got a book about a new baby and there was a pictue showing a mom feeding the baby. DD1 is so funny now - the other day dd2 was crying and dd1 said 'put her on the boob, mom.'
She has tried the breastmilk from a bottle but the other day when dd2 was feeding she wanted to try so I distracted her for a minute and she forgot about it.
I would suggest a LARGE armchair or feed on the couch because in the early days dd1 always wanted to sit with me for feeds and it wasn't very practical for us all to be in one chair.
Best of luck!

Not read all of the thread but my mum told me that when she had her second baby, she blew up a balloon which only came out of the cupboard when she was feeding. My sister (then about 2) was so delighted to be allowed to chase a balloon about the living room that she positively looked forward to mum breastfeeding.

Starlight I haven't managed to get a doula yet, the one you used has now qualified (and I can only afford a trainee), I haven't yet found anyone else who's available when I'm due, but I'm still looking!

Cbeebies

I used to sometimes set dd up with playdoh/colouring/duplo etc before feeding ds.

Stickers were also good although at first she couldn't peel them off and used to get really angry (she was 18 months when ds arrived). Once she got the hang of it I used to turn up at toddlers etc and realise me and ds were both covered in stickers

After a while dd used to sit next to me and bf her doll or make me bf it as well as ds

But mainly I'm afraid it was cbeebies...

DS was far far more demanding than dd had been (screamed nonstop) so the feeding was the least of my worries tbh, the hardest part was being able to do anything with dd in between feeds because I spent most of the time pacing up and down with him roaring in the sling-at least when he was feeding he was quiet and I was able to pay some attention to dd.

As for dinner, dd ate a lot of pasta and peas, or our leftovers from the day before. I also had some of those little tins of beans etc in the cupboard for the days when I just couldn't cook anything properly. Not ideal but she survived

Wow, I don't look at mumsnet for a day (sheer exhaustion, but still not sure how I coped without my mumsnet fix!) and I come back to find all of you lovely ladies have replied to my post. Thank-you! I'm starting to figure that cbeebies may have a big part to play. That and the new ITNG boxset that DH has just given to DD. I'm trying to ration it for the time being I'm hoping that I'll be able to spend the odd feed on the floor playing with DD with one hand and using the other to hold the baby. I think that I may need a few cushions in the early days though!

Thank you for this advice. It's early days for me, but I now plan to buy DS some box sets of teletubbies/ITNG for when DC2 is born!

You sound like me 19 months ago.

First tv/dvds are your friends and use them wisely. I would simply pop on a dvd to distract ds1 while feeding ds2.

Second, if you don't have one get a slow cooker. I would put dinner in during the morning naptime, and by the time things went crazy at night it was ready. Also think about a lot of one pot, easy to make meals.

I know this is going off topic - but how much (roughly) is a trainee doula?

My advice would be:

1. Cook in batches and freeze
2. Get lots of books for toddler
3. Involve your toddler as much as possible when time to feed baby. DD (aged 2.6) has a 'baby' that she feeds when I'm feeding DS.
4. Spend time with toddler alone if possible also.

Agree that key thing is to have a good sling you can bf in. Second most important for me was to perfect my technique of reading upside down so that toddler could lean against my legs and read loads and loads of books for the hours I was bf-ing the new baby. Also try to get out once a day to give your toddler fresh air and a change of scene, even if it's just to get some milk at the shop. Library a great idea; also check whether your local bookshops do story-time for pre-schoolers; and local museums are great if they have space for running when it's bad weather in the park.

Good luck.

LittleLamb - Have you still got your Close sling for sale? I would like it if you do?

Yes, it's still for sale. Can you CAT me? I'm heading for bed now, have a very poorly dd but will check back in the morning

It was fine for us: (ds1 27 months)

Things that worked well:
-had lots of toys/drink/next food ready if likely to be required during feed
-ds1 used to breastfeed his toy elephant while i fed ds2
-shut door to the room you're in - ds1 couldn't reach the handles!
-ds1 used to look at a book with me (in fact still does).

Things that in retrospect I wouldn't do while looking after a toddler and feeding a newborn:
-move house.