Pregnant with dc2 and worrying whether I'll get it right.......

[lizzytee]

Bit of a backstory here. DD is an ex 27 week prem baby, now 3 and in rude health, BF from birth by tube and then boob for 15 months. I'm now 25 weeks and wondering how I will deal with bf this time and have a kind of irrational fear that I may find it more difficult this time or "fail". The bit that makes me is that I am over half way through training as a bfc. My sensible half tells me that I know a lot more than I did (including things like where the support groups are, how to find out about best practice) but a part of me is actually scared of the prospect that I might actually go home in charge of a term baby. Am I being daft?

Well, tehre I was gonna suggest that you should arm yourself with as much information about bf as possible...but that kinda is already happening!
I think it is quite normal though to go through all sorts of self doubts when pg...!
I hope someone else will come along , someone that will actually be able to give you some sensible advice....

anyway, best of luck with it all!

Lizzytee - in much the same position, prem DC1 and expecting DC2. Just to let you know you aren't alone!

[busted emoticon]

Thanks all...especially as I know there is a fab support group in Deptford run by 2 superlovely BFCs. I think I have been spooked a bit by finding out that the VBAC rate at the otherwise excellent Tommy's is rock bottom.......I really don't want to have another section if i can avoid it, and haven't done the feeding while recovering experience....

Oooh, I'm in Lewisham, what's the contact for the Deptford group? Trying desperately to grow my support network before the bump arrives.

Tuesday 10 til 12, Salvation Army, Mary Ann Gardens, off Deptford High St more details here is very good. The BFCs who run it are respectively NCT and BfN trained. The others I know about locally are here although the page needs updating

Assuming that all goes well with the pregnancy (cos that's the best assumption always ) you could consider a homebirth if you're v keen to avoid the risk of caesarian. I was very opposed to the idea when I had my first, but have since had the most gorgeous homebirth with my second and would never give birth in hospital again provided all was well in advance. Just a thought.

From the bf point of view, I think it's really natural to be worried if everything will be OK when you've had some sort of complication first time round. Even people who are trained need help resolving their own probs sometimes, the important thing is to recognise if that happens, and not sit at home by yourself wondering why you can't fix yourself, but get in touch with all the fantastic people you will by now know and ask for some support.

You will be fine .

Hope it all goes well for you. Just wanted to let you know I had a very difficult time BFing after a C section with my first (3 months of pain) and the 2nd time is going like a dream! I think having done it once really helped me be more confident and more careful about latch etc, and as a result it's going really well!

With your prior experience, not to mention your training I'm sure you'll be fine!

Re VBAC rate at Tommy's, I think the statistics might be skewed in that it is such a good unit that difficult issues from other hospitals might go there a bit more? I would ask the hospital about it some more. I had normal birth there and although it was not VBAC it was VB after other surgery in that area. Have you been for the tour of the midwife led unit? It is only on the same floor as the hospital birth unit so you can start there without worrying about major move during labour if it does turn out you need more intervention.

Thanks Grendle, home birth is not something I personally want to do but am seriously considering a doula or independent midwife. Thanks for your kind words also, definitely trying to get my head around this one.

pasturesnew, I thought this too, but looking at the VBAC rate for Kings which deals with a similarly complex population (ie multiethnic, high deprivation, high proportion of older mothers plus a specialist centre), this is actually higher than the national average at around 40%. Tommy's rate is 6%.

I have seen some of the MLU but until the last week or two didn't even want to think about the possibility in case it didn't happen - I have a stitch in so have had consultant-led care from week 12 and won't formally be discharged from the specialist clinics until the stitch comes out, which I think happens around week 36, assuming I get that far. Encouraging to hear your experience though.

There are some wonderful doulas in London, I'm sure you could find someone who would be able to support you really well. Would you be eligible to go to a midwife-led unit if there's one near you (if this is an option you would want to consider)? If they say you're not eligible and the only reason given is a previous prematurity, then you could try contacting the supervisor of midwives to discuss. Sometimes spurious reasons are given, but can be overcome through discussion. Always good to have lots of options to think about .