Feel like the only one who doesn't like this constant feeding - tell me I'm not!

[MrsHD]

The posts on this board are fantastic, I'm finding it so helpful and I'm thrilled I've found it. I have noticed though that everyone else seems to be far more accepting of constant feeding demands and prolonged periods spent feeding a newborn than I am - the shame! I think it's partly because I feel so helpless when Max wakes up and starts to cry and I know I have to do something to solve it, and the bf doesn't seem to satisfy him for more than half an hour at a time which somehow just doesn't seem right - DD went three hours between feeds from very early on so it feels like I'm getting something wrong with DS. He's a quarter as big again as she was at birth though so I should expect more demands I guess. Just wish there was some other way to keep DS happy between naps than feeding , I think I feel I'm failing.

Oh listen to the self pity lol! Think I need a doze.

Oh no, you're not failing! I think (unless you're a born worrier!) everything with your first seems like it must be normal, then when no.2 comes along and things are different (and they are often very different!) it seems like it's wrong. In the first couple of weeks with dd all I did was sit on the sofa with her sleeping on her feeding pillow, waking up every 30-40 mins for a feed, which would only last for 10 mins or so. It soon changed, but she's never had a big appetite. She's nearly 4 now and still eats little and often.

Nope. At the time I hated how relentless dd's demands could be but I think once you've gone through it you know a) it's not forever b) accepting that things will be this way for a while is often the best coping strategy. I very much doubt that anyone finds it easy, and from your posts it does not sound as if you are doing anything "wrong", only that your ds's behaviour is very different from your previous experience.

Take care

On a more practical note, look here or give them a ring. Try you hv first, but my experience is that while some hvs are absolutely fab with bfing probs, some are woefully lacking in knowledge, sympathy or common sense, so la leche league is a good start.

Hi thanks for bringing this up i'm going through this to and my daughter is 15 wks, shes feeding every 2 hours and is feeding for an hour its the same at night [she used to sleep through] i was thinking of increasing her formula feeds her dad gives her 1 in the evening but i don't realy want to but if she needs it then i've got no choice.

I remember with ds feeling chained to the sofa, trapped and feeling nervous to go off and try and do anything in case he twitched and I had to interrupt what I was doing to feed him yet again. Over time I gradually adapted to it and one day it didn't seem as hard. With dd it's never felt as bad, perhaps because I was already so used to it. Though I still had moments when I though, oh no, just another 5 mins, pleeease.

If you've had one child already who spaced out their feeds then it's bound to come as a bit of a shock and take some getting used to. I agree that getting some support could be really helpful. Do you have any bf support groups near you?

You're not failing and I felt bored out of my mind with the relentless feeding. Also hated not being able to look at my baby while it was constantly stuffed against my breast but it won't be forever, as they all say. I didn't do it for that long so get advice from the others re persevering - but you're not odd to feel utterly fed up so don't think you're isolated from that point of view.

becki you might want to start a separate thread - the behaviour you describe in your dd sounds very much like a growth spurt so provided you feed her as and when things should settle once your milk supoply has adjusted. vvvvvv tiring though.

Thanks everyone I'm being impatient as usual and just wish I could enjoy DS more. I didn't particularly enjoy the newborn stage with DD either.

Anyway, he's been asleep nearly three hours now (I slept two of them, hurray!) and will quite rightly want a darn good feed when he wakes up. Just hope it lasts him an hour or so!

Sniff - no LLL in Herefordshire or Powys

Have you thought about using a sling? Whilst I never learned to bf using one, some people manage it. However, I did find dd was more settled in one and it freed me to do other things. I used a mei tai with head support.

I do know of a couple of bf drop-in places locally though, so once I'm mobile (had c-sec) I'll go along. We just need to get through January!

Ah cross-posted, not sure how feasible sling is if you're still recovering from c-section...

MrsHD, I wonder if part of the concerns you're feeling is that you are equating happiness with sleeping (I meant your baby's happiness and sleeping, but possibly yours, too ) and trying to correlate frequency of feeding with satisfaction, so frequent feeding = lack of satisfaction.

In fact, both of these are misleading - happiness does not equal sleeping and frequent feeding is definitely not a sign of lack of satisfaction....it is normal, and especially normal in a baby of just a few days old.

The feeding itself is not hard in itself is it? I mean it stops you doing other stuff, but that's what other people are for (to do the other stuff )

You've put your finger on it tiktok. The feeding isn't hard, no, he has a good technique and I have loads, it's just come as a shock and I just need to accept it. This board has been brilliant for making me realise it's quite normal! Now I know that it's just case of getting used to it and working with it.

Just reading kellymom articles, it's a really good site and not one I knew about.

I just wanted to say snap - my DS is 23 days old; he too is Max and he weighed 10lbs 9oz at birth. He is a constant feeder and it is very hard. Due to section and continual feeding I'm sofa-bound at the minute - feel and look like a post-natal Homer Simpson, except with more hair . I can't help, but please know you're not alone!

Should say hard in the sofa-bound respect. Can't manage to carry him in the sling for very long yet.

This article www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/frequent-nursing.html really describes it for me, and is very inspiring. I think I'll be reading it a lot for moral support lol! I'm just not adjusting well - need to make sure it stays my problem and not DS'.

Hi abbymeg. Have a look at that article, it could be describing how we feel exactly. It will pass... xx

Thanks for that link MrsHD .