Breastfeeding beyond a year - tips, advice?

[almama]

New on this site, and wish I had joined it earlier! Such a great resource. I'm sure this topic has been covered before - but a quick search didn't bring anything up, so here goes:

My dd will be 1y this week. (I can't believe it!). I am still breastfeeding her and enjoying it, with no intention of stopping anytime soon. (I'm amazed, as I remember week 8 thinking I wouldn't last another day - colic+no sleep.)

She still feeds 1st thing in the morning, probably the longest, most significant feed, and right before bed as part of our "going to sleep now" ritual. I also feed her at 1-3 times during the day, either when she is looking for it, or when I need to distract her or calm her. She never took a bottle, despite desperate attempts by my dh to give her one when she wasn't sleeping and I needed a break. (She never took a dummy either - the girl is a purist!) She does drink water from a beaker cup throughout the day.

A couple of questions for others who have/are breastfeeding past 1y:

When did you introduce cow's milk? Why? And how often/how much?
I'm thinking of gradually reducing feeds to the morning only - but no idea how to phase out the going-to-bed feed - any suggestions?
What have your experiences been regarding your dcs' interest in feeding as they get older?
When did you finally stop? Why?

Any tips or advice is so very appreciated! My HV is not a big supporter past a year, and I don't know very many mums who have continued. Thanks!!

I sort of offered CM as a drink with meals rather than as a feed iyswim. Partly just to get him used to the idea of drinking it. He's not bothered particularly by it though

DS hung onto the before bed feed until about 19 months - his getting up feed was the last to go. But he had stopped feeding to sleep at 1, and I did distance it more and more from bedtime from that point.

He stopped daytime feeds at about 14 months, although had the odd one - his decision.

DS stopped bfing at 22.5 months of his own accord. I'd have been happy going on longer

I started offering cows' milk during the day from about a year (I was back at work). From the time I was back at work DS had morning and bedtime feeds plus normally one more at weekends/holidays plus more when he was sick/upset/etc.

DS remained very keen on breastfeeding and finally stopped just before DD was born. He'd mostly self-weaned while I was pregnant (although I had been encouraging him to reduce the length of feeds) and was down to only nursing once a week or so by the time when DD was born, and then once she was here he clearly regarded breastfeeding as something he used to do when he was little (in fact he even said as much) and had no interest in doing it any more. Which was something I never thought I'd see when he was two or so (and I'd been geared up for tandem feeding, too).

I introduced cows milk because dd is at nursery 3 days, so has that for snacks there. I keep thinking I'll try to stop, my dd co-sleeps and is a frequent night time snacker, but I'm afraid that if I wean her completely she'll still wake up at night and I'll have no way of calming her. She is 14mo and she had recently been cutting down the day feeds but the last couple of days has been feeding like newborn.

We do a night feed but don't feed to sleep often, dh takes her to bed and they lie down together until she goes to sleep, she has been quite happy with this but it has started taking ages for her to fall to sleep, hopefully its just because of christmas and we'll get back into a better routine this week when I have to start getting up in the morning.

P&L how old was ds when he gave up?

DS was BF til 20mo. I cut out the last daytime feed when he was 13mo as I was going back to work part-time and wanted to be sure I could leave him without bothering to express (he never accepted cows' milk and still doesn't drink it). By then he was only feeding once in the day after his nap so I replaced that feed with his favourite snack (grapes) which he accepted pretty readily.

We carried on with morning and bedtime feeds. The morning feed was actually the first to go -- he just stopped asking for it. A few days later I thought I'd try dropping the bedtime feed (was finding it very painful to feed, being pregnant). I managed to distract him with toys/books/toothbrush and he didn't seem to mind too much. His bedtime routine was unsettled for a couple of weeks but settled down once I introduced bedtime stories and a quiet cuddle at the point where I would have fed him.

All in all it was much easier to stop than I had feared, I guess it was the right time for both of us.

Hi there - welcome to MN! In answer to your qs...

When did you introduce cow's milk? Why? And how often/how much?

I introduced it at 6 months in cooking and then started to offer it in a cup between meals from about a year but DS never took to it. In the end I more or less gave up and he had BM morning and evening and water/juice in the day. He gets plenty of dairy in the form of yoghurts, milk on cereal etc.

I'm thinking of gradually reducing feeds to the morning only - but no idea how to phase out the going-to-bed feed - any suggestions?

The only thing that really worked for us was me going out and getting my DH to do the putting to bed - but I did have to be physically out of the house at first.

What have your experiences been regarding your dcs' interest in feeding as they get older?

He is now 2 and half and still feeding and shows no interest in public or when other people are around - unless he's ill or upset - but is still extremely attached to his morning and bedtime feed, morning more than evening I think. On the plus side I recently went away for a weekend and he managed all weekend without feeding and was quite happy as long as I was out of the house - but as soon as I returned he wanted it again. I think it's just very bound up in his perception of his relationship to me at the moment and he's not ready to give that part of it up.

When did you finally stop? Why?

I haven't - I fed throughout my 2nd pregnancy and am now tandem feeding. I'm not sure how I feel about this - I never imagined I would feed beyond a year - and I would be quite happy if DS1 self-weaned but I'm not prepapred to force the issue at the moment.

Hpoe that helps...

about 3.2 in the end; it had tailed off from about 2.9/2.10.

oh in terms of phasing out the bedtime feed - we found it was helpful to break the feed/sleep association. I introduced a toothbrushing and story between the breast-feed and the bedtime, so that he was able to fall asleep without the feed. This worked well and now what we often do is I read DS1 a story and then feed him, and then hand him over to DH who does another story and the actual putting to bed.

That way you don't have to drop the feed until you actually want to - but you know that it's not an essential part of the sleep routine if you see what I mean.

Hello and welcome to Mumsnet
I've just stopped breastfeeding my DD (19 months) because I feel it's having an effect on my fertility.
Although weaning has been relatively easy, if I wasn't TTC, I would go on nursing for as long as possible - it's fantastic comfort when they're ill.

Anyway, introduced cow's milk when she started nursery when she was a year old. By this time she was down to 3 feeds a day - morning, bedtime and when she woke from afternoon nap. So, nursery would give her cows milk in afternoon and on weekends she would have afternoon breastfeed.

Congratulations on getting this far!

I started work when ds was 6mo. However, I continued feeding until he was 22mo. To start with I expressed enough or almost enough for all his bottles at nursery - but gradually this decreased as he got older and I fed him less during the day - primarily as at home he wasn't that bothered about feeding during the day - other things were more interesting. He went onto milk at this stage at home, out of a Tippee cup. (except he went for goats milk). Generally he was having just two feeds per day - first thing and last thing. The morning feed went first as it was just taking too long and meant he didn't start on breakfast as soon (he would eat breakfast at home then a second at nursery) - the last thing at night feed went on for quite a bit longer (several months) - eventually dropped that (my decision) with no problem. Bedtime routine then (and now) turned into story with him on lap having a cuddle then into bed and song (leaving him to go to sleep on his own).

In my experience the going to bed feed is the last to be dropped. I just gradually gave less breast feeds and more cow's milk feeds over time. Both boys started cow's milk by having it at naptime, then I gradually replaced more and more feeds.
I bf ds1 till he was 16 months and ds2 till he was 20 months and I remember the transition being quite painless as it had been so gradual.

Thanks for the replies! So helpful!

cmotdibbler - offering cow's milk with meals as opposed to it being its own thing is a great tip. So obvious, I can't believe it didn't occur to me!

I think introducing cm is a bit confusing, because if your baby is taking a bottle as well, then cm in a bottle can be seen as a substitute for a breastfeed. But dd doesn't take a bottle, and is already drinking water for thrist.. so I was trying to figure out where to fit in more milk, or why, ifyswim.

Anyway, from reading other posters, I think I should also not focus on the milk itself, but on her dairy intake/overall diet - right?

ds is 3.6 and we still do morning and evening feeds. not always though, but don't think have gone longer than 48hours between.

some people do say not to give milk with food because it can inhibit iron uptake - but I think that's probably only an issue if your baby is anaemic.

But as you say - there's no need to worry about cows milk as a drink at all if your lo is getting enough calcium overall. DS never drank it but I just cooked with milk and cheese and offered lots of yoghurts etc, and he seems fine!

Thanks also for the suggestions about bedtime feeds. (theyoungvisiter - great tips!)

I do wonder if the bedtime one will be the last one to go. In the morning, she is more interested in the milk itself, but the bedtime feed seems to be more about comfort. Ahh, she is so lovely when she's curled up on me and feeding in her pjs ready for bed. I'm so pleased it worked out, and I know I'll miss it when it's over.

Lovely to find someone who is keen on bf'ing!!
Any way b fed all mine, first 2 not past a year, dd1 was her choice not mine and I was devastated she was 9 mths. Ds1 was well before at 4 months but he was 1st child and I was really sure of what I was doing ( do not worry he had bottles)!!!

But b fed twins till ds2 was 22 months, he was only playing by then not drinking it was a bit of a competition with his sister, and dd2 till 32 months, and I'm very proud of it. Only gave up as she was starting full time school, (the week after I stopped... we do not live in the UK) I didn't really want to but I wasn't keen to have her feeding forever so it had to stop sometime.
And did both the morning and night feeds till the end. I did the morning feed in my bed, and the night feeds normally on the sofa, so it wasn't linked to them sleeping in bed at night. During this time I only gave cows milk when having cereals, they do not need it if still feeding from you. Drank water when wanted a drink or when eating food. Can eat dairy like cheese and have yoghurts and fromage frais etc for calcium etc.

Feelinglucky, I didn't think it affected fertility by your stage if you have regular periods that is the most important. Plenty of people still breastfeed while pregnant with the next one. I fell pregnant when the dts were 2, so was still feeding one of them.

Oh and my tip... do not listen to people pressuring you to give up, dh was pushing me for the last year for dd2 and I still carried on, it was my choice not his. But did get funny looks from all other people I know, inc parents in law and friends. I know that I was doing the right thing for my kids, so it wasn't for anyone else to comment!!

almama - I'm in exactly the boat! Ds3 is 1 in 9 days and we're still going strong. We're now just feeding morning and evening and during the night.

I thought I probably feed to a year then have had enough but since he's definitely my last I don't want to give up now, especially as he's so happy on it.

The one thing I am starting to get, which I've never had before, is comments from dh and family about when I'm going to wean him off completely. Grrrrr.

DS has never had cow's milk and he's 2.9. I had a dairy intolerance when I was younger and he didn't react well when I was eating dairy and bf so I just avoided it. Didn't really see the logic in giving him cow's milk when he had human milk iykwim He is ok now with a little bit of cheese/yoghurt but he tends to get his calcium from other sources. He only had his bedtime feed at the moment but I'm 31 weeks pregnant so I don't have very much there for him. Who knows what will happen when the milk comes in for the next one - we'll wait and see! Good for you for keeping it up and do ignore all the comments. I started going to LLL meetings from when DS was 9 months old because I was starting to get funny looks and comments at other mum and toddler groups - v sad! LLL is great though - made me feel more 'normal.'

Oh, I think I'm lucky because my dh isn't saying a word, he thinks it's sweet. My mother is in Canada, where the gov't recommendation is now 2 yrs! And, my MIL is from a small village in Ireland where no one could afford anything but breastmilk, so she isn't critical either. In fact, my aunt told me the other day that my grandmother breastfed her until she was 6yrs! But that was during WW2 in the soviet union where there was no food... so drastic measures.

Saying this, my HV seems to think that after a year there is 'no nutritional value' in it, and some of my friends have commented too. The ones who did breastfeed seemed to stop around 6-8 months. They've suggested that stopping will give me more freedom. But I don't feel like the feeding is affecting my freedom much. I mean, having a baby affects your freedom full stop; by this age when it only happens a few times a day, the feeding doesn't seem to make much of a difference!

hi everyone Im new here So my son is 13 mon I still breastfeed but I want to ween him. he has had cows milk and he seems to have no allergies. but my question is shold I put him o na sippy cup or a bottle. any advice

Hello

I'm tandem feeding ds aged 3 years 8 months and dd aged 17 months I'll answer your questions mainly for my youngest.

When did you introduce cow's milk?Why? And how often/how much?

Shortly after starting solids at 6 months, but only as part of meals. She's never drunk any cow's milk as a drink, there's no need.

I'm thinking of gradually reducing feeds to the morning only - but no idea how to phase out the going-to-bed feed - any suggestions?

There are lots of ways to phase out feeds if you choose. Dd still feeds herself to sleep about half the time, the other half she has a feed and is then cuddled to sleep, generally by Daddy. Ds cut out his bedtime feed himself whilst I was pregnant, though he stopped feeding himself to sleep at bedtime long before he was 12 months.

What have your experiences been regarding your dcs' interest in feeding as they get older?

Ds fed 6-8 times a day at 12 months. This gradually dropped back to maybe 4-6 per 24hrs by the time I got pregnant with dd at 18 months. I continued like this for the first trimester, but then got too sore and tired, so night weaned him, leaving only his morning, nap and bedtime feeds. Very soon afterwards, the naptime feed got too long and drawn out for me to bear, so I started taking him out for a drive instead of feeding him. At almost the same time he naturally dropped his bedtime feed. After that it was just one feed a day, first thing until dd arrived. Gradually feeds crept up until he was on about 4 feeds during the day when she was 3-4 months. I gradually distracted him and he cut back to one most days sometime over the Summer. These days he will feed once a day for a few days in a row, and then not at all for a few days, so we're on our way to gradual weaning. For example, the last feeds I can remember were last Tuesday and then yesterday.

Dd was feeding 8-10 times a day at 12 months and is now feeding about 5-8 times a day. It varies.

When did you finally stop? Why?

I haven't yet . thus far I've worked on the principle that if we're all happy with what we're doing today then we'll go on as we are, and if we're not then we'll change it tomorrow. I feel that my children's needs to breastfeed still outweigh any need I have to stop.

marfran I'm no expert but I'd say go for a cup, no point in introducing a bottle at this stage I'd have thought, as you'll only have to get your LO off the bottle next!

But you might want to start a new thread about this - you will get more responses that way.

hi i fed ds2 til he was a few weeks shorrt if his 3rd birthday - it justkind of happened. never planned to go that long
currently feding ds3 aged 16 weeks (literallly 0-excuse typing) and will carry on until it feels right to stop

to answer your questions:

• When did you introduce cow's milk? Why? And how often/how much?

i didnt and i wish i had - just as a drink rather than as a feed. he wont have milk at all even on cereal but will have hot chocolate with ds3, i plan to give him tastes whilst getting him on siolids then offer as a drink when older in the hope that he will like it

• I'm thinking of gradually reducing feeds to the morning only - but no idea how to phase out the going-to-bed feed - any suggestions?

bed time was the last one to go and in the end we ent cold turkey. he was older though and able to be 'bribed' with his forthcoming birthday

• What have your experiences been regarding your dcs' interest in feeding as they get older?

ds2 was a boob addict and loved to feed as a baby and toddller but from around a yer he was never interestef when we were out and about. but til the day he stopped he was always interested at bed time

When did you finally stop? Why?

looking back i cant fed him for thsat long but it just kind of happened. He was always a dreasdful sleeper and was driving me crazy and thought it would help t o wean him but never got round to it
then i got pregnant and it hurt like hell and he was nearly three and it just felt right then

justt to add from the age of 2 and a bit, ds2 would stay with my in laws for afew nighgd without me and not bat an eyelid a no feeds. in the end that is how he stopped - stayed at in laws for a fewnights and i decided thar the time had cone