HELP me make sense of this...is it a growth spurt?

[kutilputil]

hi, pls bear with me as i am still trying to figure this out. i have recently had my ds2, well he is exactly 3 weeks old today. i exclusively breastfed my ds1 upto the age of 2 but still feel like i did not do a good enough job. He is 3 years old and is so skinny you can see all his bones, front and back,he weighs around 11kg and is only about 86cms tall. i was very determined to do a better job this time but three weeks down the line i wish i could just give him the formula milk and fatten him up straight away. it was very difficult to get him to latch on when the milk kicked in, i had sore boobs and was close to getting mastitis. i persevered through the pain and heartache and thankfully the soreness has subsided, although not completely and he occaisionally has a bad latch and gets them sore again (mainly in the night feeds when i am not sane enough to stop him!). Anyway where was i?, for the past few days he has been sleeping like a log in the day time between 12pm to 6pm waking once if that, but soon after 6-7pm he wants to feed frequently, every hour or half an hour after until about 11pm-12am and then he sleeps till about 7am and he starts frequent feeding again till about 12pm. what is happening?when he is frequent feeding he doesn't have a good feed, i would be happy if he did that, but it seems he just about quences his thirst and then he falls asleep, but as soon as you put him down he is awake and wants the boob!his birth weight was 6lbs 14oz and on the 12th day he weighed 7lbs 9oz, since then i have not had him weighed but am worried he is not getting enough milk and will probably be small and boney like ds1.i have so many other fears with regards to the quality and quantity of my milk, my diet is so poor and i cannot seem to make it better, i am anaemic and am a thalasemia carrier so am naturally low on hb anyway and my boobs dont seem to fill up with loads of milk at every feed. is my ds2 going through a growth spurt?how can i help him and better my supply? and would it be better to just pack in the bf and give him formula, as sometimes if the quality is not good enough then i read it probably is?pls help any advice much appreciated.

He sounds like he's behaving exactly like my DD did when she was that age. It does sound like a growth spurt with a bit of cluster feeding thrown in which is totally normal. His inital weight gain sounds fab tbh. Your boobs don't need to fill up massively, as time goes on they will feel soft all the time. This is no indicator of milk supply. A poor diet does not usually affect milk supply, in fact you would have to be near death from starvation for it to be affected. I've no experience of the anaemia but I'm sure someone will post about that. Remember we all come in different shapes and sizes, your children might just be skinny ones. DD was in 3-6 month clothes until 11 months I think, she's very petite and slim. She's perfectly healthy though.

How are his wet and dirty nappies?

Oh and as to the quality, diet doesn't really have an effect on that either. Your body will feed the baby first, so it's your health that could be affected. DS won't be affected

hi, thanks for the reply, hand on heart i cannot say my son ds1 is unhealthy as he is energetic, happy, excels in all his developmental areas and ha s a good healthy appetite, its just his size thats worrying, especially when everyone and anyone has a comment on it, especially your mum and family...thats when it hurts and i question myself. ds2 seems slightly more bigger and healthier that ds1 when he was that age but i ahev the same worry and everyone has also predicted him to be small and mingy!he does seem to ahve at least 6-8 wet nappies and two or three small bowel movements in a 24 hour span. i know what that means but it still does not satisfy me, i feel i am not doing enough!

kutil, everything sounds normal....and if you are worried about your toddler, then ask for a professional opinion. Plenty of toddlers are just constitutionally small and this is not necessarily unhealthy, and is unlikely to be related to the way he was fed as a baby anyway

Babies of this age need to feed frequently and short feeds punctuated by short naps are normal. Your milk quality will be fine - it is unrelated to diet or your anaemia, though some women with untreated anaemia (and I assume you are being treated?) may find they have to feed extra often to ensure sufficient quantity.

You sound very lacking in confidence - a breastfeeding support group would help, or you could call one of the breastfeeding helplines and talk to someone.

Hope this helps

but if theres no goodness in me to begin with, what will he get, i feel like my diet has been so poor for a few years that theres nothing good in there!does that make sense?

also, how should i put him down?odd question but bear with me...it seems when i feed him and give him his nappy change and all is done, if i put him in his travel cot/crib he seems unsettled and crys,if he is picked up and carried he is okay and he will sleep a long time if he lies down next to me on the sofa (like now) even with a dirty nappy!but as soon as i put him down by himself he plays up...and all this messes with his feeding, as when he is sleeping he will sleep for long and wont even wake for a feed for as long as 4-5 hours, even longer, but when he is unsettled he will want to feed and only little and often!argh!i could scream with frustration!

You are alive, kutil, and you grew an almost 7 pound baby from nothing If you had 'no goodness' in you, you would not be here and would not have been able to be pregnant. Your lack of confidence is not justified - there is plenty of evidence to show that women on terrible diets, who have not eaten well for a long time, make breastmilk that's absolutely fine.

He is not 'playing up' when he cries to be with you. He is less than a month old - being next to you is his whole world, and he will cry when you and he are separated. He needs to feed more often than 4-5 hourly so if he gets too cosy that way, you will need to take the initiative and feed him before then

Kutil - I let my DD sleep on me all day at that stage, all she did was sleep and feed, your DS is too young to do anything else. If you're finding it hard to get things done because you can't put him down (which is very normal at this age) then invest in a baby carrier/sling such as the Close sling which is lovely, this will let you get on with ironing, cleaning, shopping etc whilst DS sleeps all day. As TikTok says, wake him to feed him if he sleeps all the time, I woke my DD every 3hrs. HTH

thanks for all your thoughts and advice, maybe i am being a bit hard on myself....its just so difficult to manage all these thoughts that come in my head and i find my self esteem slums severely, especially when others coment on my mothering skills....i hope i carry on with the bf as i cannot see myself doing bottles....and i cannot deprive my child of the best start in life.