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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Donated milk v formula - how do you feel about it?

47 replies

bubbleymummy · 03/01/2009 19:35

Following on from a previous thread really. If you were struggling to BF in hospital and you were offered donated BM or formula - which one would you prefer? I personally, would opt for donated milk if I couldn't feed or express for myself - what do you think?

OP posts:
AlexanderSantasmum · 03/01/2009 21:23

PS. I think also for those of you who are saying that they wouldn't want it unless their baby was ill, it may help you to know that they not only test the milk (and the donor), but they also pasturise it before giving it to another baby. So really it is the same as giving a cows' milk based formula (only better because it is human milk).

hunkermunker · 03/01/2009 21:27

Hurrah, Grendle!

Can I ask those who posted on here to say if their baby was preterm and/or ill, they'd want donor milk, but if full term and/or well, they'd use formula - is this because you know there's not enough donor milk to go round or because you would only consider donor milk for a prem/sick baby even if there were lakes of the stuff?

I was told to top up DS2 before he was 12 hours old - I said no, to the horror of the midwife. I was threatened with his transfer to NNU (he was fine, bfing well, etc - they were worried about his blood sugar levels as I'd had diabetes in pg) and said I would rather he had IV dextrose than formula - I'd have asked for donor milk, but knew they didn't even have it for preemies. In the end, he had my colostrum, hand-expressed and syringe-fed (and nobody on the ward had a clue how to do it - I had to tell them what I needed!).

I donated litres of bmilk after I had DS2, probably partly because of the experience I had.

backalleysally · 03/01/2009 21:33

Hunkermunker- I would personally only consider donated breastmilk if my baby was preterm/sick. Even if there was plenty to go around. However I happily donate breastmilk if given the opportunity. Double standards I know.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 03/01/2009 21:37

I'd have given him BM forever if it was available, and I could buy it in shops rather than formula. Would always rather he had BM, even if it wasn't mine. Obviously not an option tho

hunkermunker · 03/01/2009 21:38

BAS, I'm really interested - why wouldn't you consider donor milk if your baby wasn't preterm or sick?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 03/01/2009 21:39

That reminds me that my SIL has suggested we swap babies when hers is born to cross feed - it's a very special thing in her culture and not something you do with just anyone - both my DH and another of his sisters had this with very close friends of my MIL. They become like siblings with the kids of the other woman and can never marry them! I was a bit at first but then thought it was a lovely idea. I just hope I still have some BM left in feb and that I can manage to do it!

Waswondering · 03/01/2009 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chipmonkey · 03/01/2009 21:45

Well, ds4 had his first bottle of formula yesterday as I couldn't keep up with him by expressing alone. I did think that if there were banks of donated milk for that purpose, it would have been better and if there were lakes of the stuff, that is what I would have sought out. Partially because it is better and partially because I don't want to give my money to formula companies. As it was, the formula used was the least-marketed one I know of.

chipmonkey · 03/01/2009 21:50

When ds3 was a baby and in NICU, I managed to express LOADS for him and ended up being given it to take home for "top-ups" which I had no intention of giving him! It lay in my freezer for months and would have been so much better given to some other prem baby. But the hospital were so fussy about not giving a baby EBM from any other mother that I didn't find out till afterwards that I possibly could have donated it after taking a few blood tests. As it was, he took against bottles and never did drink the stuff.

Grendle · 03/01/2009 21:56

Here's the list of milk banks. There aren't many, sadly. Most hospitals used to have one, but many were closed in the early days of HIV/AIDS. Sadly, I don't think the NICE guidance will cover which babies should be offered donor milk, only how milk banks should operate, which seems a bit of an opportunity missed .

I donated because I had loads of milk 2nd time round and wanted to do something for other women after I myself was forced to top ds up with formula by a hospital paed aged 10 days because he was dehydrated after losing 20% birthweight due to tongue tie. At the time he was born I had no idea donor milk existed, and of course my hosp had no milk bank and I wouldn't have been eligible anyway. They mentioned IV rehydration, but siad it was better not to do that. At the time I had very little info, so in the end agreed to giving him formula. However, it did cause a few probs, as I then refused to choose a brand and they insisted they weren't allowed to choose for me, as they were going babyfriendly. At that point, I simply said that if it was them that were insistent he had formula then they should choose which one he had to have as they were the ones 'prescribing' it. A nurse finally got SMA, because that was what her kids had taken . Anyway, I digress..

hunkermunker · 03/01/2009 22:09

Grendle, did they say why formula was better than IV rehydration? Would that have been dextrose or something else, would you know?

piximon · 03/01/2009 22:24

I think donated milk should be available to those who want it. I was told my local hospital has very little demand though.

I wasn't able to bf ds3 for his first 12hrs (I'd had a special scan so milk was radioactive). I asked about donated milk and was told my baby would not be allowed it as not sick/premature.

I was discouraged from giving the baby my friend's expressed milk as it had not been screened, the hospital misplaced the expressed milk for 12hrs so I was not in the position to decide if I wanted to use it or not.

Thankfully 12hrs later ds3 was happily latched on and we're still going (9mths tomorrow).

hohohoIdolikeTurkey · 03/01/2009 22:38

I would choose donated milk every time but have instead needed formula for all 3 dcs.

The point that doesn't seem to have been made is that women donating milk are being very generous. It's often more than just a question of handing over some left overs from the freezer when they are about to go off. I presume it's a case of regular pumping to keep your supply above the needs of baby. Isn't that quite a lot to ask? Perhaps I'm being naively pessimistic though. Did the milk banks have lakes of the stuff before the HIV scares?

Grendle · 03/01/2009 22:41

Hunkermunker I don't know tbh. I very much doubt it was an evidence-based recommendation. We were in A&E with a registrar because ds had developed a rash and mw wanted ds checked out because he'd also had the big weight loss on day 6. According to local guidelines (I found out afterwards) the mw should have referred him on day 6 anyway. Instead, she eventually sent us to a bf clinic on day 6 and they started me expressing & diagnosed tongue tie. By day 9 he'd put on about 1oz, so had at least plateaued. The registrar was more interested in the weight loss than the random rash, and insisted that he needed something more than my milk. I stood up to him fairly well, as I really didn't want to give formula. He said something about how it might be possible to give fluids by IV, but that it was better for the baby to receive it orally. At that point I crumbled (emotionally anyway), as I was so worried about my tiny skinny baby. Just like everyone else, I was incredibly vulnerable after the birth of my first child, and it hadn't been a great birth either so I wasn't in good physical shape myself. The bolshy confidant me wasn't much in evidence that week! I did, however, insist they got me a pump so that I could express and top-up with EBM first, as per the plan formulated with the lactation consultant. We had the discussion about brands with the nurse, who also suggested that I skip expressing at this point and give formula for that night and try bf again tomorrow. I didn't have much regard for her opinions by that stage.

Immediately ds drank the formula he fell into an unrousable sleep. It was really scary, we just couldn't wake him. He slept through having an IV inserted, and it didn't go straight in.

To this day we don't know what happened, but it led to IV rehydration anyway, telephone call to consultant, lumbar puncture, chest X-ray and several days of precautionary IV antibiotics. They were worried he might have an infection, as I had on my notes that I'd once tested positive for GBS (in a previous pregnancy, so irrelevant anyway as it turns out). They then banned me from feeding him anything for several hours, during which time he cried a lot. After that I bf, then expressed and topped up EBM, and then topped up formula to the set volume they'd decided he needed as a minimum. Several days later, his blood tests all came back clear. His 'floppy episode' was never explained and everything was put down to breastfeeding difficulties. Great irony was that we missed our first appointment to have the TT snipped, as we were in the wrong hospital.

I think the bizarrest thing, is that these days I know a great deal about bf, but at the time I didn't know much at all really. I just knew inside me that was how I was meant to feed my baby. I'd never contemplated formula feeding -all the babies I knew from childhood onwards, including me, my mum and all family babies were breastfed. I had no political views on formula, in fact I knew nothing at all about it except that it was inferior to breastmilk and exclusive bf for 6 months was the recommendation. I had an overwhelming urge to feed my own baby.

I keep meaning to request ds's hosp notes to see what they say, but tbh it's too long ago now to complain anyway (2005) about the things they did do wrong in terms of bf management/support during our inpatient stay. Given our situation, it is arguable that formula might have been the correct/best course of action. He only had a litre over 2 weeks in total, though that was down to me, rather than anything the hospital did or said. They wanted to measure everything he drank and didn't seem to believe he got anything direct from me.

Sorry for going O/T .

hunkermunker · 03/01/2009 22:41

When you donate, you put your expressed milk into bottles the milk bank provide. They took a lot of the stuff I had in bags - DS2 decided he would only drink fresh, so I had pints of the stuff in the freezer. But I continued to express regularly in order to keep donating - had I found expressing particularly arduous, I probably wouldn't have done it though, I must confess!

hunkermunker · 03/01/2009 22:50

Grendle, thank you for the post - I'm fascinated by the way women are treated in maternity units by those who are meant to be supporting them - SO often, support is the last thing they get, as you found

How scary that he was unrousable and slept through IV insertion - you must've been so worried!

I've been admiring your bf research links from afar on various threads - I meant to thank you, btw, for the ones you posted on one the other day (loads - about bf support making a difference, particularly the 6-8 week initiative ones) as they've been really useful for something I'm setting up atm. Have you gone on to train as a bfc?

Grendle · 03/01/2009 22:54

I've been a peer supporter for 3 years and am curently almost finished full training as a BFC equivalent with one of the national organisations. I don't really talk much about what happened with ds these days, because having debriefed it properly, I feel OK about it now. Having had a very bad experience myself motivates me to try to support other mums.

On here, of course, I'm just a mum like everyone else .

chipmonkey · 04/01/2009 01:24

Don't say "just a Mum" Being a Mum is the most important job you will ever do!

stitch · 04/01/2009 01:26

formula
but i'd try pretty damn harde to get some milk out my jugs first.

stitch · 04/01/2009 01:29

grendle that must have been so scary for you.....#

when ds2 was in hospital aged just under five months, he had a tubeinserted, and i expressed milk, so he had that. it was a horrible electric pump, and i felt a righ tcow.but i didnt want him to have formula.
but, if it was achoice between formula, and someone elses breastmilk, i would choose formula. but i am funny like that.

backalleysally · 04/01/2009 15:44

Hunkermunker- I dont know why I wouldnt use donated milk for a healthy term baby.....I suppose it's because its someone elses bodily fluids. Yes I know its screened, pasturised etc. And I wouldnt hesitate at my baby having blood. It's not rational I know it's just how I feel.
Also the subject of giving IV fluids over formula. I know that one of the reasons that formula is pushed by medics over IV fluids is because the IV cannula is a site for possible infection because of the vein being open etc etc.

InTheDollshouse · 04/01/2009 18:13

After DS was born I kept thinking, what if something happens to me and he can't have my milk and I haven't expressed any/enough? (What is it about the post-natal period that makes you have those scary thoughts?) I asked DH what he would do and he got a deer-caught-in-headlights look on his face and said "try to get milk from a milk bank?" and I had to explain that milk banks are for prem babies. I told him the names of a couple of friends who are breastfeeding and told him he should ask them if they'd be prepared to nurse DS (only if it was a temporary situation obv). I think he thought I was a bit nuts.

I am planning to donate milk myself to a milk bank. DS is only just 6 weeks so I haven't started expressing yet.

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