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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Stopping exclusively breast feeding when baby is 6 months old

18 replies

helenlouisey · 02/01/2009 21:56

Hi - wonder whether someone could give me advice. My baby was born 7 weeks prematurely, and has always been a terrible breast feeder, I've had a lot of help from a lactation consultant who's been fantastic and my son now has 2 of his 7 feeds a day directly from the breast. He also has a complex tongue tie (diagnosed by the LC) which has been released, this has improved his feeding but he still struggles and gets very tired breast feeding. The rest of his feeds are expressed breast milk. My son has never had formula feed, and although things have been very tough at times, with problems with him being premature, his tongue tie and also my milk supply (another story, which has now been resolved) I always had in my mind when things were difficult that this wasn't forever and that once my son got to 6 months I would stop expressing and just let him have his 2 breast feeds a day and the rest of the time start giving his formula. However my husband doesn't think I should stop expressing at 6 months and is putting me under a lot of pressure to carry on until my son is fully weaned. I am feeling really torn as I want to do the best for my DS, on the other hand I feel that expressing is very difficult as means we can't go anywhere unless I take my expressing machine with me and I spend up to 3 hours a day expressing. I know I don't have to make the decision for another month or so, but it is making miserable thinking that I may not be able to stop expressing once my DS reaches 6 months old. Any advise would be much appreciated. Thanks

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 02/01/2009 22:01

helen I think you have done an absolutely fantastic job!!! seriously, you've been devoted to this!
my initial thought is whether or not, now baby is that bit older, he would be able to have all feeds direct from breast? I realise as a small baby it was probably wearing for him, but perhaps he could cope with it better now? just a thought

I think you've done brilliantly though, and if you're ready to call it a day with the expressing then that's completely up to you, you shouldn't feel pressured to stop.
you just need to make sure you have weighed up the benefits of continuing with the benefits of stopping. there really are still benefits to your son if you continue, but I do realise how draining expressing is (did it myself with ds1) and how limiting it is as you say... so there are always 2 sides to think about.

why not take it a day at time. you could start by just cutting down on the expressing. and see how you go?

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 02/01/2009 22:02

Is there any chance you can whack your DH around the head with a newspaper (something light weight of course).

All I can say is WOW, you have done SO much to enable your DS gets the best start in life and now personally I think it's time that you were allowed a little bit of your life back. Is there anyway you could discuss with your DH how the pressure he is putting on you is making you feel?

Original poster
helenlouisey · 02/01/2009 22:20

Thanks Ladies, I have tried to get my DS to feed more from me, but he will only go about an hour between the end of one feed and wanting to feed again and ends up getting very cross and upset, I have persisted, as really wanted to try and get him feeding directly during the day at least, but it very quickly affected my milk supply, so went back to expressing as was less stressful & hated seeing my son hungry. The pediatric surgeon who performed his tongue tie snip did warn that the shape of his tongue (short and squat) was also affecting his ability to breast feed so the tongue tie release would only help to a degree

OP posts:
Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 02/01/2009 22:25

The only thing i would say is that if you stop expressing at 6 months it may effect your supply so much that you won't be able to give him his 2 breast feeds a day (some people can just b/f twice a day but some can't).

Whilst I think most parenting decisions should be made by both parents I think in this regard you have done everything you can and if you decide that you have had enough then your husband should respect your wishes.

thisisyesterday · 02/01/2009 22:28

yep i definitely agree that this is your call, not your husbands. he isn't the one doing the expressing!
how many times do you express at the moment?

Original poster
helenlouisey · 02/01/2009 22:31

At the moment I express around 5 or 6 times a day usually for about 20 - 40 mins each time. I find my supply definitely decreases in the evening so sometimes I end up expressing 3 times whilst we're sat watching TV after my DS has gone to bed, which is making it very difficult to go out of an evening, or have people round, as I have to keep disappearing upstairs !!!!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 02/01/2009 22:33

maybe just cut down then, to start with and see how you feel?
i mean, you could cut down in the evening, have a couple of nights out. that in itself can be super liberating and may help you feel that expressing the rest of the time is really achievable. iyswim?

then perhaps cut out a daytime one so that it's easier to get out and do stuff?

or even, start planning your days and then fit any expressing you want to do around that. don't feel you have to do it the other way round?
i think perhaps if you feel that you aren't chained to it the whole time you'll feel ok about carrying on part-time.

it's a compromise!

thisisyesterday · 02/01/2009 22:34

and I apologise if I seem to be wanting to make you continue if you really don't want to! just, i know that it's very easy to regret giving up breastfeeding. and it's easy to cut down for a bit and see how it goes

tryingtobemarypoppins · 02/01/2009 22:34

Been there! Your story is very familiar!
Does your husband mean until your baby is 1 year old and drinking cows milk?

Original poster
helenlouisey · 02/01/2009 22:57

The SCUBU my DS was in, they were very pro breast feeding, I actually didn't see any baby having formula milk as they had a milk bank. I was very poorly after giving birth to my son so my husband had to make the decision whether our DS was fed by milk bank milk, or by formula, he was given a lot of information on the benefits of breast feeding, so he feels that our DS should only have breast milk and then progress to cows milk at 1 years old.

How long does it take to wean a baby, how long before you start reducing the number of milk feeds your baby has ? i.e how long would it be before I could reduce the number of feeds down to say 2 or 3 a day (which would be more manageable longer term ?)

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 02/01/2009 23:09

that's a how long is a piece of string question!
lots of exclusively breastfed babies still feed a LOT until they're well over one, if they are demand fed.
ds2 has cut down on his now, at 15 months, but I am pregnant, which may have had some effect.

i think at a year old ds1 was still having about 5 bottles of formula a day.
you just have to go with what your son is happy with really, in regards to milk intake.

some breastmilk is better than none though, and if you kept doing the 2 direct from breast and did the rest formula you'd still be doing something great for him. please don't feel that you're not.

KatieMorag · 02/01/2009 23:16

i have no advice...just wanted to say - respect

bf is hard work but expressing & bottle feeding is twice as hard. i salute you, whatever you decide to do from now on!

Original poster
helenlouisey · 03/01/2009 11:08

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
BabiesEverywhere · 03/01/2009 15:29

Well done, on both expressing and breastfeeding

I do think it would be worth speaking to both a health professional and a breastfeeding counsellor about your situation. (Bearing in mind that many health professionals are not experts in breastfeeding)

Don't forget that once your baby reaches 6 months you are likely to introduce solids and some of those solids can count to your babies calcium intake.

Maria2007 · 03/01/2009 17:31

I agree with the others, I think you've done a fantastic job under difficult circumstances. Expressing is pretty awful, I know, I've been there (in fact, I still am there!). It's really up to you to make a decision how to go about this, & I hope your DH is able to support whatever decision you make!

Original poster
helenlouisey · 03/01/2009 21:06

I think I've decided I'm going to stick with it a little longer and maybe try and express much more in the mornings and in the evenings so I can have my days a bit freer to be able to get out and about a bit more. Having read this link some what swayed me milkshare.birthingforlife.com/healthbenefits

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
SilverSixpence · 04/01/2009 20:35

no advice but really well done!

kathryn2804 · 04/01/2009 23:25

Well done.

My twins were only having 3 milk feeds a day by about 9 months, the rest was solids, so if you last another couple of months you may be able to stop expressing altogether and just breastfeed. I wouldn't give up on the idea of breastfeeding more. Every day he'll get a little bit stronger. You could try dropping one of the bottles and see how you get on.

Anyway, it is definitely your call and you have done brilliantly!!

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