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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Which is the lesser of these two evils then - weaning early or giving up breastfeeding?

15 replies

bangandthedirtisgone · 31/12/2008 15:12

Firstly, I have no intention of starting a controversy or this turning into a bun fight, I genuinely need some advice.

DS' 4 months growth spurt has been going on for 6 weeks now and I am on my knees with his wakefulness. I cannot get him to b.f in the day, he is mixed fed though and will always take a bottle.

He wakes constantly at night, always for food, when previously he would sleep for an average of 9 hours. Yes, I know we were lucky, etc etc but I can't cope any more with waking to feed and my milk supply still doesn't feel like it's caught up so I have ended up giving formula at night some nights as he is screaming and scratching me when he can't get milk.

I was planning to give up b/f at 6 months but now think perhaps I will switch to formula full time now he is 5 months and put him on a schedule to make sure he feeds enough. Is this safer for him than weaning before 6 months? I really don't want to wean him early given I've already made a pigs ear of b/feeding.

All thoughts/advice welcome but please, please don't attack me as I am desperate here.

THanks

OP posts:

fishie · 31/12/2008 15:14

why won't he bf in the day? how much formula is he having in 24hours?

don't wean him early there are more calories in bm or formula than any bit of veg.

CarGirl · 31/12/2008 15:14

I would switch to FF as nutritionally they don't get many calories from food for the first few months anyway.

I figure you may still have to crack the night thing though ie refusing to feed him through the night (perhaps just one late evening feed)

You have my sympathies sounds horrendous.

AnarchyAunt · 31/12/2008 15:14

Formula is a better option under 6m if you can't carry on with BF.

Weaning just doesn't have the calories they need, and can damage their longterm health if done too early.

crokky · 31/12/2008 15:17

If you were going to give up breastfeeding at 6m and giving up at 5m makes it significantly more bearable for you, then you should give up breastfeeding at 5m and exclusively formula feed. Then wait until 6m to wean.

CarGirl · 31/12/2008 15:17

Are there any bf he will take well between 7am & 7pm? He may well take the 7am ish one well then give him formula for another 4/5 feeds during the day.

After a few days if you succeed to shifting his feeding to during the day he may then take a bed time bf from you as well as the first morning one IYSWIM.

TheTwelveDAISYofChristmas · 31/12/2008 15:17

I would say switching to formula would be much better than early weaning, especially as he is already having formula.

But, bear in mind that there is no guarantee that this will make him sleep any better.

Please don't feel you have made a pig's ear of BFing though; making it to five months is more than most women in this country manage. You should be giving yourself a pat on the back

and I'm sure that if you really wanted you could get back to almost exlcusive BFing with a bit of time and effort, but would get advice from a BFC about how to go about it.

Good Luck x

crokky · 31/12/2008 15:18

Just to add, my breastfed DD is weaned (she's 9m) and she does NOT sleep! Weaning early won't help you IMO as the food is not very nutritious compared with the milk.

Original poster

bangandthedirtisgone · 31/12/2008 15:19

Thank you everyone

I only managed the first week of exc b/fed then we were sent back to hospital due to his rapid weight loss.

I would say he has roughly 400 mls of formula a day atm..but that's increased since I started having to give more at night

OP posts:

ChrismumMiaow · 31/12/2008 15:21

I'm not an expert, I don't know which is best physically, but I would suspect it would be 'safer' to switch to formula.

At 5 months, DS was a very difficult feeder - very impatient, biting (with no teeth thankfully) and wriggling around - he did most of his feeding at night, but it passed by around 6 months. I understand the feeling of absolute exhaustion, but nothing you've written suggests you've "made a pigs ear" of BF - he sounds just like my DS who is still happily BF at 11mo (and only wakes once a night / sleeps through sometimes)

Oh and if it helps, I think that this doesn't happen so much with bottle fed babies as they can still see what's going on as they're chugging down their milk - Bf takes a bit more concentration and hides their face from all the fascinating things going on!

However, if you really really can't cope and as you have already decided to go that route, why can't you get your DH to give an extra formula feed at night to give you some more sleep. Or if he feeds well at night, go to bed earlier, get your DH to do an early evening feed and then you do a middle of the night feed (which will be good for your milk supply) (or do it the other way around and get DH to do an early morning one) Surely any of that would be better than giving up entirely, and I would think that at 5 months your supply would survive one extra formula feed.

TBH from everything I've heard, neither option is likely to help his sleeping...

jingleallnewjinglebells · 31/12/2008 15:21

I would ff rather than wean early if that's the choice

I'm guessing others will say though that your supply problems are caused by ff. I'm no expert so I'll not comment

I bf excl. for 24 weeks and started introducing one ff per day when my DS really did seem to be ridiculously hungry all the time. I had (perhaps naively) hoped also that the ff would help with his sleeping (he wakes every 1-2 hours, every night, for a feed). I'm sorry to say though that the ff has made no difference whatsoever to his sleep. Just telling you all that so you don't get your hopes up that moving to ff will stop him from waking (although you may be lucky, hope you are)

fishie · 31/12/2008 16:02

bang what do you want to do? you could ring bf helplines to see what a counsellor suggests about building your supply. actually it is probably worth talking the whole thing through, they are properly trained counsellors as well as advising on the actual mechanics of it.

Original poster

bangandthedirtisgone · 31/12/2008 16:07

I don't know what I want to do.

I feel as though I should carry on b/feeding, but in all honesty I have grown to hate it.

For the first 16 weeks he was attached to me like a limpet, it was a stnading joke about his constant feeding but it made me so miserable, he literally couldn't go for an hour without feeing in the day. Then it finally stopped, but instead I've got this.

I like there at night and he's chewing on my nipple not really feeding half of the time, scratching me with his little fingers, clawing at my face, my breast etc.

I love him but I hate b/feeding, I really, really hate it.

I'm sure the supply problems are related to mixed feeding but like I said we had problems right from the start - he lost almost 2 pounds in the first week and I would rather he had formula than carried on starving.

OP posts:

CarGirl · 31/12/2008 16:11

If you hate bf then perhaps subconsciously your body is not responding to making more milk or something.

If you really hate it switching to ff is not the worst thing in the world. Like I said you may still find that you can bf morning and evening so he's still getting bm without you resenting it.

ChrismumMiaow · 31/12/2008 16:18

FF is not the worst thing in the world, but I'm sure you could get to a position where you were happy, with a little help.

What fixed my DS's feeding was restricting his feeds to every 4 hours during the night - to stop him snacking and filling up, and to give me more sleep so I could deal with the baby monkey it felt like I was trying to feed (paraphrased from NCSS - it struck a chord with me). He was then hungry enough that retreating to a quiet, dark room would make him pay attention.

Your feeding experience sounds really a lot like mine - DS fed for 6+ hours straight most afternoon/evenings for the first 6 weeks or so, then still fed pretty much every hour or so, day and night. But it does pass, it really does!

Hopefully someone else who knows more about the potential issues with your supply will come along and give you better advice (than me) about that bit! Mumsnet told me his feeding was normal - held my hand along the way really - and so I just felt I had to accept that this was the way was going to be, and that he wouldn't BF forever! But I do understand how hard it feels - between 5 and 6 months I felt like crying at some point on most days, but we're doing great now (we've even apparently resolved our biting problem!) and that time seems like a distant memory.

Meglet · 31/12/2008 21:38

i've been feeling the same as i have just stopped ex bf my 16 week old, it was getting me down and worn out. I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm going to express a couple of times a day so she still gets bf. it did occur to me that formula was probably easier on a tiny stomach than weaning early. hope you get yourself sorted soon.

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