my 16 week old is feeding all the time - my hv adn family pressuring me to use formula

[loulou33]

my 16 week old used to feed every 4 hours and sleep from 8pm til 5am (i know i'm very lucky!!). this last week his daytime feeds have gone to three hourly and hes only feeding for 10/15mins each side. He's now also waking every 3 to 4 hours at night but only feeding for 10 mins before falling asleep and refusing anymore milk. this has gone on for 3 days/nights and i'm not sure what to do. He was 3 weeks prem so is classed as 13 weeks and i don't want to wean him yet but dh/pil saying he's hungry, my milks not good enough and i should wean/use formula. I offered him some formula at midnight last night, he wasn't keen but had 3 oz before refusing any more. He fed from me for 5 mins and then slept til 6.30am. Should i give in and give him formula at bedtime, in the middle of the night or persevere with bf all the time??

I'm very confused and hv is seeing him this afternoon to weigh him (he's gone from 91th centile at 10weeks to 50th at 14 weeks). he was 50th centile at birth btw. She is suggesting a different formula at bedtime or midnight as maybe he doesn't like that brand (sma) or even hungry baby formula

Very confused and lacking confidence in my feeding at the moment - please help and sorry for the ramble

loulou, here's some facts to share with your family and whoever else needs educationg

• breastmilk varies very little in quality. It is always better quality than any substitute, including formula. This is a biological fact and is nature protecting the next generation, maintaining breastmilk's high quality whatever the circumstances

• 16 weeks is a very typical age to change feeding patterns - a lot of brain development and social awareness takes place at about that age, and nutritional habits change

• the length of time of the feeds you describe is perfectly normal - and it's also normal for him to take what he needs at the time and to resist having more

• babies will often suck on a bottle when it is offered. The teat of the bottle offers a 'super stimulus' to the sucking/swallowing reflexes and the baby will take milk beyond what he may actually need at that time

• his weight is normal

• 16 weeks is too early to have anything but milk - there are no benefits to solids at this age at all, and some evidence of harm

Beyond the facts lies the probably case that preparing a bottle of formula and sitting there giving it to him does not save you a lot of time. It sounds as if the formula he had at midnight might have kept him asleep for a further hour or so - it's your choice as to whether this makes it worth it or not, knowing as you do that exclusive breastfeeding is a better health option and that he is a normal, healthy baby who does not actually need the formula.

You need a dose of confidence more than he needs the formula

Tiktok, as ever, that is so helpful.

Loulou, don't let the HV/your family bully you into doing anything that doesn't feel right for you and your baby.

Best of luck!

loulou - If he was born on 50th centile than that may well be where his weight ends up. The fact that he whizzed up to the 91st centiel for a bit is just fine - but so is him coming back to the 50th cetile.

Don't bother with any formula. Ride through the frequent feeds - they are unlikely to continue for ever. A little blip is perfectly normal.

Just tell your family and HV that you are fine with the frequent feeds and with a baby who was born an average weight and is still an average weight!

I think the problem families have is that if you seem tired and tearful over frequent feeds they are keen to find a solution and to them chaging the feeding method is the easiest suggestion.

However IMO the solution to frequent feeds is to rest, relax and decide to do nothing but feed your lovely baby for a few days!

thank you tiktok - you made me cry!!

Your post makes total sense and i just needed someone to give me confidence to carry on with exclusive breast feeding. I definitely don't want to wean him for at least another 2 months. I was just worried that he was feeding less each time. I'm not a clock watcher but i noticed he was on the breast for less time but also wanted both more often - would this mean he was getting more foremilk? Its also a struggle being up with him so often in the night as have older child as well and am pretty knackered - i know, i've been spoilt up til now!!

gagarin - i think that's the problem. I get very teary and stressed when i've not had enough sleep and i thinnk they are all trying to find the answer to make it right. i hope it only lasts for a few days more but who knows with babies. One thing i know is that i will be in bed well before midnight tonight, although i may be up feeding when the bells toll!!

It is hard - because I really don't think families are trying to bully their new mums. They just care so much that you seem to be suffering that they offer all the wrong sort of advice!

But if you know you are going to continue to feed whatever (you sound as though you are ) then being a little more specific about what sort of help you need - like announcing that going to bed for the weekend - is what you need to do!

Happy New Year

loulou, I should have added another couple of facts to my list

• time on the breast does not equal amount of milk taken or the fat content of the milk

• foremilk and hindmilk sort themselves out and a healthy, effectively-feeding baby (which yours is) does not have to be 'engineered' into taking more/less of one or the other. Maybe he is getting more foremilk - and maybe he isn't. It doesn't matter and you can't tell, so why worry

As gagarin says, what is happening now will not last forever, and the best things the people who care about you can give are time off with the older child, a chance to nap in the day if you can, and support and encouragement

My DS went through the same thing - all of a sudden just feeding more and seeming to be faster. He is probably just on a growing spurt and he needs all that good extra milk to help him out so well done you for providing it!

P.S Don;t worry too much about him getting faster - babies become more efficient at feeding as they get older so they get what they need in a shorter amount of time.

thank you all for your messages. I knew mnetters would have the answers! Reading my posts back, i sound neurotic and tired (which i am) and i will try harder to ask for the help i need rather than the help others think i need