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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

ARGH!!! Interfering busybodies!!!

26 replies

kayzr · 29/12/2008 19:36

I have got a sore throat and generally feel run down. Mainly caused by having a 17 day old DS2. Anyway an old lady who lives near us heard me and DH talking about my sore throat as we walked home from town this afternoon. She has just appeared with Lemsip, lovely gesture but pharmicist(sp) said I can't have it due to BF. But I didn't say that to her, just said thanks thats lovely.

She then said "But you'll have to stop feeding that poor baby yourself, he has had his 2 weeks worth so give him some proper formula milk" Then she said bye, happy new year etc and left.

I was left looking like this > and DH shut the door for me.

I have struggled a fair bit with BF DS2 as some of you will know. I am really in shock, how does she even know DS2 is BF.

OP posts:
jingsjosie · 29/12/2008 20:11

Daft lady... I'd just grit my teeth and blame what she said on ignorance.... (if feeling in a good mood - otherwise I'd curse under my breath about her being an interfering old busybody!)

Grendle · 29/12/2008 21:40

Some people!!

You can just carry on safely knowing that whatever bugs you have or you or your baby are exposed to, she will be getting tailor-made antibodies through your lovely milk . As they used to say at the start of the 20th Century, mothers milk is both a food and a medicine. Shame some people of a certain generation seem to have forgotten that.

Hope you feel better soon. Being a mother is doubly hard when you feel rough, IME.

abbierhodes · 29/12/2008 21:47

Right, rethink this for a minute. A neighbour has just knocked your door to give you medicine that she thinks will help you. She has offered some advice that would have been given to mothers of her generation, and wished you a happy new year.
Can't you let go of the fact that your views on feeding babies are very different to hers and accept that she has done a nice thing?

(I am posting as someone who spent a long time hating interfering old busybodies, and calmed down considerably when I realised how much easier it was to smile and ignore the advice whilst appreciating the fact that they cared)

ScottishMummy · 29/12/2008 22:10

tbh,maybe archaic view expressed but no harm or malice.thing is being a mum suddenly everyone has opinion.you are feeling poorly and maybe she just said wrong thing,wrong time

she was kind to try do right thing

Original poster
kayzr · 30/12/2008 07:57

I realise she was being nice but I still don't understand why the way I feed my child has to do with her or me being ill.

OP posts:
foxytocin · 30/12/2008 08:03

ahem, the old lady and the pharmacist are both wrong.

drink her lemsip. enjoy the lovely gesture. forget her advice and the pharmacist's

hope you feel better soon.

i also have the lurgy and bfing a small baby and been having cold tabs.

Original poster
kayzr · 30/12/2008 08:16

So I can have lemsip? Yay!!!

OP posts:
wenceslasmyeducation · 30/12/2008 08:24

Depends which Lemsip I think. Normal Lemsip is ok, not like when preg.
Prepare a 'Well, actually...' for next time you talk to her, this is my favourite approach for bollocks-talking older/foolish folk. As in, 'Well, actually, breast-fed babies don't need water, it's all provided by the milk' Or 'Actually he doesn't need to get used to new tastes as my milk doesn't taste the same everyday, isn't that amazing'.
Or for you, how about 'Well, actually, my baby was protected from that cold by my breastfeeding her. Isn't it amazing how much better breastmilk is, my doctor says it's the best thing I can do for her and me.' Older ladies respect doctors and will be unnerved by the word breast. She will never discuss it again, but you haven't been blatantly rude.

sunnygirl1412 · 30/12/2008 08:39

When I had ds1, my elderly neighbour called me out into the garden to say that she'd heard him crying a lot (I was trying to reestablish breastfeeding after problems in hospital), and that I should give him a bottle of water with sugar in it!

I hope that you get better soon kayzr - nothing worse than being poorly on top of the tiredness after childbirth and the tiredness of having a newborn (and Christmas thrown into the mix too).

Have you considered a hot lemon and honey toddy? It wouldn't have the medicinal effects of a lemsip, but would be warming and soothing - and if you felt it was appropriate, you could add a little nip of whisky in the evening.

Hugs.

foxytocin · 30/12/2008 09:39

you can have any kind of Lemsip or cold and flu remedy while breastfeeding for that matter.

that 'warning' on the packaging is because they have not specifically tested it in pg or breastfeeding women so the manufacturers are arse-covering, that is all.

tiktok · 30/12/2008 09:39

Baffled as to why the pharmacist said no to Lemsip - active ingredient is paracetamol, (isn't it?)which is fine when bf.

I think it is very upsetting when people make remarks like your neighbour - I actually don't cut them any slack at all for passing on advice like this, as it is plain rude.

BouncingTurtle · 30/12/2008 09:54

Yes, I thought it was just the one that contains decongestant that you had to avoid as it can affect your milk supply?

Daft but well meaning old bat. Ignore her and do what works for you.

domesticslattern · 30/12/2008 09:58

You already have had one DS so you know that you are going to receive countless rubbish advice through the years. At first I was polite, but now I am actively rude to people who offer me this kind of unsolicited advice. They can all just BUGGER OFF.

Ignore her- you know you are doing the right thing!

foxytocin · 30/12/2008 10:43

decongestants are fine when bfing, bt

FourArms · 30/12/2008 10:53

I'd always avoided stuff like that, until I felt really really rubbish and rang the BF network drugs helpline who said that they were fine.

If you do want the lemsip taste, but to avoid the 'added extras' in it, the Boots own brand basic lemsip type drink is just paracetamol and vit C. However, there's less paracetamol in that than a standard 2 tablet dose, so poss not the best thing if you're feeling really rubbish.

LittleJingleBellas · 30/12/2008 11:05

"Shame some people of a certain generation seem to have forgotten that." They haven't forgotten it - they never knew it.

I would actually go and tell the pharmacist s/he's wrong. They are giving wrong medical advice and it might influence someone else to give up BF when they don't need to. I would run something off from a respectable website (or preferably something with NHS on it) and give it to him, so it's not just a random woman going in, it's a concerned patient who has been given wrong medical advice.

TinselBaublesMistletoe · 30/12/2008 11:12

There's very little, especially OTC, that you can't take, it sounds like your pharmacist doesn't know and was trying to cover himself.

I'd just ignore the advice from the neighbour and take it as it was meant - just showing concern for you.

moondog · 30/12/2008 11:15

lol at 'older ladies being unnerved by word 'breast''

ilovelovemydog · 30/12/2008 11:23

I've heard this before from older women - there's this idea that b/fing is something one does for a few weeks...

Original poster
kayzr · 30/12/2008 11:59

I told my mum about this earlier and she said that my Nan was told to stop BF my mum when she was 2 weeks old as her milk would go bad after that. Luckily my Great Nan told her that it wasn't true.

They must have been told it in those days I guess. Still annoying though.

OP posts:
Maria2007 · 30/12/2008 12:01

I've been the recipient of this kind of comment (about bf) many times. My DS is now 5 months old, mostly exclusively breastfed (with a few bottles of EBM or formula here & there) & I- as everyone who breastfeeds- have made a big effort to get us where we are. At first I used to get annoyed with these comments- e.g. everytime my DS would cry my grandmum or aunt or older relative would say 'maybe he's hungry... maybe he needs a top-up and your milk is not enough'. Some times this may have been true actually (and that's another story), but sometimes they were just going on & on about this weird idea of the previous generation that 'breastmilk can never possibly be enough'. I wouldn't take it personally, I think the woman was trying to be helpful- although obviously didn't know better than to offer this kind of advice. You need to let this sort of thing wash over you, I think, and remember it's a generation thing, some women of that age simply DON'T know better. One example being my grandmother who, when her son (my uncle) was 4 days old, was told by a paediatrician to give him formula because her milk had dried up (!!!) & she was starving the baby. Which is what she did. Her milk most probably hadn't even been given the chance to come in, to be honest, but that goes to show the sort of ignorance about breastfeeding the previous couple of generations had.

Hope you're feeling better, by the way, and CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your DS2.

BouncingTurtle · 30/12/2008 15:06

Really, Foxy??? I thought you were supposed to avoid things like Sudafed because of the decongestant in it?

And here's me suffering from a horrible cold and refusing to have anything except paracetamol and hot tea!!

TinselBaublesMistletoe · 30/12/2008 15:13

Cough and cold remedies

BouncingTurtle · 30/12/2008 15:59

Thanks TBM!

foxytocin · 30/12/2008 16:30

i've lways taken beechams cold and flu remedies through feeding both with no ill effects. i refuse to suffer colds and flu. dd1 still feeding. wish she'd feed less often.