could i have done more??

[1stbaby5]

i was only 16 when i had dd & wasn't interested in bf at all. 10 years on i now have ds & was keen 2 feed myself. after an easy pregnancy & easy (ish) labour he was delivered 9 days early by ventouse. from the minute he was born he wouldn't latch on. the midwife blamed my little nipples!!! and at 1 point even got a syringe 2 try 2 "pull them out more". This did nothing & back on the ward the support was crap. i kep saying he wouldn't feed & they kept saying he was mucousy so tired & would feed when he was hungry! this went on 4 36 hrs. i kept asking 4 help, they kept ramming him on my boob saying "there, he's on", they'd walk away & he was off again. i kept asking 2 give him a little bit of formula just 2 give him some strength 2 actually suck but they wouldn't. i was eventually discharged 2 days after he was born. the next day the mw came 2 weigh him. she spent 45mins trying every which way 2 get him 2 latch on but he was just screaming. she weighed him & he had lost 2 much weight so we were admitted. he was also jaundiced by then. by this poibt i'd had enough. i decided i would just express. i did this 4 36hrs but then was so sore i geve up & he went on the bottle. i know i could've tried longer but is there anything else i could've done? i want another baby & would like 2 think that it'l b a case of 3rd time lucky or r my nipples just 2 small??!!

at your story. It sounds as if you have had a horrible experience and very poor support in feeding your ds.

Blaming your nipples for your baby's reluctance to latch is very questionable. It is also a lot easier in some ways to attribute a baby's reluctance to feed to something like this than to take the time to patiently work through the issues - eg 38 week babies sometimes do not yet have their sucking reflex properly sorted out, and a ventouse delivery may have made him sore. Physically forcing him onto your breast is unlikely to have been helpful either.

From what you say, it sounds like you were repeatedly let down by the people whose job it is to support your preference to breastfeed your son. So no, I don't think that you could have done more in the circumstances. Nor is it at all likely that there is something wrong with your nipples.

(hugs from a posessor of very small nips)

Hello 1stbaby5

It was 3rd time lucky for me

My ds2 would not latch on when he was born, he was fed ebm via a cup for the first 48 hours after his birth, he did latch on to my flat nipples once so we were discharged from hospital, when we got home it all went wrong he would not feed at all, the next morning the mw came and said he looked really yellow and was sleepy so had to go to the scbu for 4 days, i had lots of help in there to help him latch but he was to weak so i had to top up with formula.

We left the scbu mix feeding, i saw a great bfc who helped with latch and now at 16 weeks old he is fully bf

It really is poss to bf with small nipples, i have huge boobs and flat nipples.

My second also struggled to latch on in his first days. He was born with ventouse and had a huge bruise on the back of his head so I suspect he was in pain. After hours of trying we were both exhausted (I'd not slept the 2 previous nights due to labour) and he was screaming the ward down. A midwife took him away at about 1.30 am to give me a breather and then came back a few minutes later and asked my permission to feed him some formula from a cup. I was so shattered I agreed, he drank 4 oz of formula, calmed down and slept until morning. The next day we were both rested and calm and he latched on immediately. He has been fully bf since. The support you receive in the first days is crucial and having people who can see past the bf "fascism" and just give unjudgmental help can make all the difference. Had he not been fed by alternative means we would probably have got into a very stressful pattern of failed attempts to bf. Instead someone recognised that we were exhausted and he was starving. I'm sure there are no issues with your nipples just the support you received. Better luck next time and don't beat yourself up over it.